


Cabin Under the Stars

by KatieComma



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: AU, And in love, And want to be together, Astronomer!Mac, CIA!Jack, Falling In Love, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, From the very moment they lay eyes on each other, Get Together, I call him Angus for the entire fic so if you don't like that I would avoid this one, Jack pov, M/M, Mac POV, Smut, finding each other, they're just cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 09:24:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 44,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17937158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieComma/pseuds/KatieComma
Summary: Jack Dalton has been working for the CIA for a while. A long while. Maybe too long. Matty Webber’s been in his ear for so long he can barely think a thought without her commentary automatically popping up immediately after. And being in the organization means being surrounded on all sides damn near all the time. Friends? Enemies? Doesn’t matter.Jack needs to get away. He needs a vacation. Alone. So he rents and cabin and shows up and what does he find?It's already occupied.





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you slightly_ajar (@sky-larking on Tumblr) for this WONDERFUL TITLE PROMPT THAT GOT WAY OUT OF CONTROL!!!!
> 
> This is all your fault. ;)

A nice quiet getaway. That was what Jack Dalton needed. And he was on his way. SUV filled to the brim with a bag full of clothes and a few spy novels, groceries, and beer.

After years of working for the CIA, peppered with short vacations back to Texas to visit with the family, Jack hadn’t really ever taken a vacation by himself. Or for himself. And he was starting to feel worn down. Starting to feel like his life was being used up by other people. The CIA juiced every ounce of his strength and mental ability from him, and got him shot on a regular basis. And whenever he went home to visit the family it was an event. Kids underfoot all the time, helping make big meals for everyone who flocked in to see him. It was a marathon of visiting, telling the same story over and over, and helping Uncle Jake fix the tractor again. And sometimes also getting shot at. It was Texas after all. He loved his family, but sometimes it was a whirlwind of them taking affection and attention from him and then kicking him back onto a plane.

So Jack had decided to do something for himself. Take some time. Get away from his boss, Matilda Webber, nattering away in his ear constantly through comms. Just get away from the demands. Kick back in the middle of nowhere with no wifi, and no phone signal, and nothing but a few beers, a lake, and himself. It sounded like heaven.

Driving further into northern California back country, the traffic got thinner and thinner as the sun set lower and lower until he hadn’t seen another car for at least an hour. And then his GPS told him to turn off onto a rough dirt road just before he lost the signal altogether. As rocks from the loose gravel spun up from the tires and pinged against the undercarriage of the SUV, he was just glad he hadn’t brought his precious GTO on the trip.

The light failed altogether when he pulled into a clearing, a small cabin outlined stark black against the clear, star-filled night sky.

The confirmation email he’d gotten from the renter had described a lock box next to the front door with the key inside, and the code to open it. Jack turned on the flashlight on his phone, opened the box and tried the door, but it was already open. It didn’t raise any alarms, even for his paranoid CIA brain, since the cabin was so far out in the middle of nowhere the door probably didn’t really need to be locked anyway.

Jack wandered inside, found the light switch, and lit the place up. It was cute: one main room that had a couch, fireplace, small dining room table, and a kitchen. There was a bathroom just off from the living room, and a set of stairs that led up to the loft where, he knew from the ad, a big king size bed waited. Jack had been driving for about seven hours and wanted nothing more than to unpack the car and fall into that big bed. The entire front side of the cabin was all windows and a single door that led out to the deck that overlooked the lake.

Just then the door opposite him that led lakeside opened and a guy walked through it with an expression on his face that was half frightened and half angry.

“Woah, what are you doing here?” The guy asked. Unruly blonde locks and alarmingly bright blue eyes, he was the complete opposite of Jack’s short mohawk and dark brown peepers.

“I could ask you the same partner,” Jack said. His hand had immediately gone to his hip as soon as the door had opened. But CIA agents don’t bring their firearms with them on vacation, and his fingers found jeans and a leather belt and nothing else. “What the hell are you doing in my cabin?”

“Your cabin?” The guy asked, offended. “This isn’t your cabin. It’s mine.”

“Well, if you were gonna be using it, why the hell did you rent it to me?” Jack asked.

“Rent it to you? What are you talking about?” There was genuine confusion on his face.

Phone already in hand, Jack pulled up the email confirmation. “Come on man, quit playin’ with me,” he said as he read over the email and confirmed the location. “Are you Harry MacGyver, then?”

The blonde guy sighed, ran his hands back through his hair, and shook his head. “No,” he said simply, “Harry’s my grandfather.” He sighed again. “I didn’t know he was renting this place out.”

“Guess you should talk to your grandpap a little more often huh?” Jack said with a grin. “If he knew you were comin’ out here he probably wouldn’t have put it up on Airbnb. Or at least reserved you a date.” Jack walked over to the guy, still a little wary (CIA instincts) and showed his screen to the guy.

The blonde scanned the screen and read over the confirmation email before he looked up at Jack, apology in those impossible bright blue eyes. “I’m sorry man, I didn’t know.” He smiled and let out a small chuckle. “Hell I didn’t even know my grandfather knew what Airbnb was.”

Jack laughed. “It’s all good man. Jack Dalton.” He held out his hand.

The guy responded in kind and shook Jack’s hand with a strong grip. “Angus… MacGyver,” he said. He ran the fingers of his free hand back through his hair again. A nervous twitch. Years of working in covert ops had made Jack an expert at spotting that kind of stuff.

“Nice to meet you Angus,” Jack replied, the name coming off his tongue weird. “Bit of an odd name that one, isn’t it?” He’d never been one for beating around the bush.

Their hands still clasped, eyes still met, Angus nodded. “Definitely got me beat up a lot as a kid,” he replied. Suddenly he looked startled and pulled his hand back from Jack, patting his pants pockets as though looking for car keys. “I should really… get out of your hair though…” he said, turning toward the deck. “Let me just pack up my stuff and I’ll head out-”

“Naw,” Jack replied. “No reason to leave right now. It’s blacker’n pitch outside and we’re in the middle of nowhere. Why don’t you kick back here tonight and take off in the morning?”

“Are you sure?” Angus asked, doubtfully.

“Yeah,” Jack answered. “I’m just plannin’ to have me a quick beer and then hit the hay anyway.”

“Alright, cool,” Angus replied. Doubt and some more apology sparked in his eyes. “I’m really sorry man, I didn’t mean to interrupt your vacation.”

“Really dude, it’s fine,” Jack said, patting him on the shoulder in that touchy-feely way Jack had of always touching people. “You didn’t know. Since you’re here though and I’m being so kind as to let you stay the night, wanna help me unload the truck? There’s a beer in it for you.” Jack gave a quick wink.

“Yeah, sure,” Angus replied with a nod and a grin.

 

 

After the SUV was unloaded, groceries stowed in the fridge and cupboards, they took a couple beers out onto the deck.

Angus wasn’t sure exactly what to think of the whole situation. He felt like an idiot. Not that he could have known that his grandfather was going to start renting the cabin out. But Jack’s little jab about not talking to his grandfather had hit home too. Maybe if he’d called, said something, even asked if his grandfather wanted to come spend the week with him, he would have known. Instead all he’d thought about was getting away for a week by himself at the cabin.

“This place is pretty rad,” Jack said into the darkness.

The lights of the cabin shone out of the windows behind them, making the night darker.

“Hold on,” Angus said. He dipped back into the cabin and shut the lights off before heading back out to the deck.

“What the hell man?” Jack asked in the darkness.

Eyes still adjusting Angus couldn’t see him yet.

“You tryin’ to kill me or something?” Jack asked. “I’m gonna fall down some stairs out here.”

“Just wait,” Angus said, moving closer to Jack, eyes still not adjusted. “When your eyes get used to it, it’ll be worth it.” He took another few steps and his arm brushed against Jack’s. Man the guy ran hot. “Sorry,” he apologized before stepping a little to the left.

They were silent for another minute, the air full of the sound of mouths on bottles and sloshing liquid as they sipped at their beers.

Angus had never been great with people, and this was an awkward situation, but somehow the silence between them wasn’t awkward. It was just there. Comfortable and open and not oppressive at all.

“Alright man,” Jack said, beginning to come into view as Angus’ pupils dilated to account for the change in light density. “I still just see dark lake, dark trees…”

Angus smiled. “Look up,” he said and there was a little snarkiness in his tone, but excitement as well. He watched Jack’s head tip upward.

There was silence for a minute, and Angus didn’t watch the sky, he just watched Jack, hoping to gauge the guy’s impression. He guessed Jack was a city guy, not accustomed to the wide-open rural skies of northern California where the stars were so bright at night it almost seemed like daytime.

“I’ll be damned,” Jack’s voice was full of awe, and a lot of Texas twang. His mouth didn’t close once he’d said the words, but stayed open to reflect his amazement.

“Pretty spectacular, right?” Angus asked, finally looked up at the sky.

There seemed to be more white than blue or black floating up there in the heavens above them. He picked out the constellations without even thinking about it; his brain naming them as though he were adding 2+2.

Well, if it was his last night at the cabin he was going to make the most of it and keeps his eyes skyward.

 

 

One beer turned into two, which turned into three.

On the drive up, all Jack had wanted in the world was that one single beer and then to fall into a big warm bed and sleep like the dead for eight hours or more. Probably more. But then he’d met Angus, and after the initial weirdness of spending an evening with someone he didn’t know, they’d settled into chairs on the deck and continued to sip beers while watching the stars. And they started talking. And it was easy. Like breathing or walking, or shooting a bullseye, there was no effort involved.

“Gonna need to go into town and get some beer tomorrow I think,” Jack said as he cracked a third beer for each of them, sitting back down in his chair.

“Closest town is a ways out,” Angus replied. “You should have brought a bit more to get you through I guess. How long are you staying?”

“Thanks smart ass,” Jack said with a smile and a barked laugh. “I hadn’t planned to water two horses if you get my drift, slick.”

Angus laughed in reply, and clinked his bottle against Jack’s in the dark for emphasis. “Fair enough.”

Jack took a sip and looked back up at that ridiculously beautiful sky. It was different from back home. He’d seen big wide open starry skies back in Texas, but it just didn’t feel the same. With the trees crowding in around, and the sound of the water lapping at the shores of the lake below them, there was something so serene and beautiful and different from the ranch he’d grown up on.

And there was that silence again, stretching between them, full of the sounds of the night and the sipping of beers, but nothing else. No expectation, no awkward pauses or the feeling that it should be filled with anything. Just the peace and quiet Jack had been seeking. The peace and quiet he hadn’t thought could exist with anyone else around.

“So what is it you do Angus?” Jack asked, not to fill the space between them, but because he was genuinely curious. As someone who read people for a living in covert situations, he’d become good at figuring people out almost immediately. But Angus MacGyver was strange. To look at him he just seemed like some hipster: button down plaid shirt tucked into a pair of tan Levi’s, but wearing worn hiking boots, and spending his time alone in a cabin in the woods star watching.

Jack’s eyes had adjusted enough to the dark that he could see Angus clearly in the starlight. He turned toward Jack and smiled an easy smile that should have been reserved for the two of them being friends instead of having just met.

“I’m an astronomer actually,” Angus said. “That’s why I came out here.” He looked back up at the sky.

Jack didn’t look up. He kept watching Angus, watching those stupid-bright blue eyes dart around the cosmos as he gazed up at the sky. Astronomer. That made a lot of sense.

“What d’ya mean that’s why you came out here?” Jack asked.

“Well, I’m just finishing up my PHD thesis,” he said with a sigh and Jack could see the heavy weight he held. “And when I come out here, it’s quiet and I can think, and I can come out here and watch the stars. It helps me focus and think. No wifi keeps me off Instagram.” He laughed at the last bit. “Why did you come all the way out here?” He asked, turning toward Jack again.

Jack suddenly realized he was staring, but when Angus met his eyes he just couldn’t find it in himself to care. And just held that gaze in the darkness while he answered. “Same actually,” he replied.

Angus smiled wider, and Jack hadn’t thought that was possible. Angus’ eyes narrowed. “So you came out to the middle of nowhere to finish your Astronomy PHD thesis too?” He asked.

Jack laughed. “Thanks smart ass,” he said jovially. After their laughter died he looked back up at the sky. “Naw. To get away. From people, expectations, work. Just come out to the middle of nowhere and relax.”

“What is it that _you_ do, Jack?” Angus asked. And the way he said Jack’s name, meant something somehow, but he couldn’t quite figure it out. It was a feeling that resounded somewhere in his chest.

For a moment that feeling stunned him into silence, and then he opened his mouth to answer and realized he was about to say he worked for the CIA. Jack never told people in his personal life what he did for a living. First, because it freaked a lot of people out when they found out that in addition to working for the CIA he had also been special forces. The idea that Jack Dalton could kill anyone with barely a flick of his wrist made many people think twice about being close to him. Second, because most of the time he wanted to be a normal guy, and working for the CIA often made him the focus for too many conversations, too many questions about what exactly he knew and what exactly he did. So to skip all of that, he just used his cover ID. “I’m a bathroom tile salesman,” he said, and though it sounded like a lie to him, he hoped a nerdy Astronomer wouldn’t question it.

“Huh,” Angus’ voice answered, and there was a hint of disappointment in it.

Jack looked over, and he could see it in those blue eyes too. Angus had hoped there was more to Jack Dalton than just a simple every man.

Angus sipped at his beer. Jack followed suit.

But after that moment faded, they fell back into easy conversation; about the area, and the nearest town, and Angus told him a few stories about coming to the lake when he was younger. The cabin had been in their family since before he was born. 

Jack could have listened to him talk all night. Something about the way he told a story, the timbre of his voice, the stars hanging overhead. Instead, once his third beer was finished, he pushed out a big breath and prepared to head inside.

“Well,” he said. “I think it’s time for me to hit the hay. Been a long day, and I don’t wanna fall asleep in this damn chair.” Jack pushed himself up and went back inside.

“Yeah, sure,” Angus said, that disappointment back in his voice. He tipped up the rest of his beer and followed Jack inside. When he flicked on the lights, Jack cringed at the light. His eyes had been so happily adjusted the darkness for so long he’d forgotten how harsh the lights inside would be.

“I’m just gonna,” Angus motioned toward the stairs leading to the loft, “grab my stuff. So you can go to bed.” For some reason that statement hung in the air between them for a moment before Angus acted on it, taking the stairs two a time with his long legs.

Jack grabbed his bag where he’d left it by the door, and waited for Angus to come back down.

The sound of clothing being shoved into a duffle echoed out over the balcony railing of the loft. It was the only awkward silence that had happened all night. But it felt like seeing someone naked for some reason that Jack couldn’t quite figure.

Finally Angus came back down the stairs, bag in hand, looking a little disheveled as though he’d had clothes spread all over and been frantically gathering them up.

“What about you hoss?” Jack asked as he looked around and realized there was no other bedroom.

“Couch will do me just fine,” Angus answered, pushing his hair back with his free hand nervously. “I grew up sleeping on this couch.”

“You sure?” Jack asked. “I mean, it’s your place. I could sleep on the couch tonight and-”

Angus shook his head. “No, it’s fine. You’ve paid for a bedroom, so you should… get what you paid for.”

There it was again, something awkward stirred up, but Jack couldn’t quite put his finger on why. “Alright,” Jack conceded before he took his bag and headed up the stairs.

Even though the bed smelled like someone else, it was pleasant, and the moment his head hit the pillows he was out like a light.


	2. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angus is about to leave Jack to the solitude he came to the middle of nowhere for.
> 
> Jack isn't sure that's entirely what he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All ye who enter here... be prepared for smut.
> 
> Also: this got a bit long... sorry/not sorry...
> 
> Thank you to BlackVuktures and Lavendersblues for beta reading!!! ❤️

The sound of a car door slamming jerked Jack awake from a wonderful sleep. He sat up slowly in the huge bed. Sun was shining in the big windows that took up the entire face of the cabin, and Jack looked out over the balcony at the most beautiful sight he’d seen in a long time: golden light sparkling on water and filtering through perfect green trees.

He was suddenly reminded of what woke him when he heard the front door of the cabin open and close quietly, like someone was being careful.

With more surprises than he’d expected on the trip, he was beginning to regret leaving his gun behind. Sure, it was probably just Angus, but it was hard to tell with Jack’s luck.

Creeping downstairs in the t-shirt and boxers he’d worn to bed, he was careful that every footfall was silent on each step.

Angus came around from the kitchen and stopped dead at the sight of Jack slinking down the stairs. 

Angus cringed. “Sorry,” he said quietly, as though Jack were still sleeping. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No worries hoss,” Jack said easily, turning his slink to a casual step on the stairs; putting his full weight into every step and letting the boards creak under his feet as he came down the last few stairs to the main floor. “Bout time to be getting up anyway, from the look of the sun.”

“Wasn’t sure I’d get a chance to say thanks before I took off,” Angus said, motioning to the front door. Next to it there was a large pile of bags and a big case, almost like a guitar case.

Jack felt sad suddenly. “Oh yeah, it was no… problem man,” he said.

“I ran into town quick before heading out,” Angus said, “picked you up a case of beer to replace the stuff I drank last night.” He shrugged his shoulders a little and looked down self consciously.

Jack made a noise that implied it was too much. “You didn’t have to do that man,” he replied, “it was my genuine pleasure to have a couple beers with a space nerd. You know, couple times there near the end you almost couldn’t say Astronomy right anymore.”

Angus laughed at the joke and met Jack’s eyes. There was a grateful look there, but Jack wasn’t quite sure what it was for, didn’t know the guy well enough yet to read it.

That comfortable silence grew between them again, and Jack was starting to feel like there was an expectation in that quiet space between them, but he had no idea how to meet that expectation.

Angus broke the silence. “And I… while I was in town I picked us up some breakfast,” he said. “Better than the continental breakfast at any hotel you’ve ever been to. I promise.”

Jack waved his hand. “You didn’t have to do that man,” he repeated himself.

“Well, I was picking up breakfast for myself before I hit the road,” Angus admitted, “and it seemed like a dick move not to get you something.”

Jack smiled. “Fair enough.”

Angus grabbed the bag. “Maybe out on the deck?” He motioned that way. “It’s a beautiful morning.”

Jack followed. A beautiful morning; it certainly was that.

 

 

Angus collapsed into the deck chair he’d sat in the night before. Once Jack joined him, he doled out breakfast: a couple bagel and egg sandwiches for each of them from the diner in town. And a coffee each.

“Just black,” Angus said as he handed it over. “There’s probably sugar in the kitchen somewhere, but I wasn’t sure how you take it.”  
“Black is perfect,” Jack replied, “learned to survive without the cream and sugar…” he trailed off as though he was going to say something more, like where he’d learned that particular survival skill. He didn’t meet Angus’ eye, and there was something there he wasn’t saying, but who knew what it was? Angus could guess at a million things it might be and never be right, so why guess? Scientists don’t guess, and there wasn’t enough information for extrapolation since he’d only known the guy for a few hours.

“Perfect,” Angus replied, hoping to skip right past that moment of deception. People kept bits and pieces of themselves to themselves all the time. Nothing wrong with that. But there was a nagging urge down inside of him to learn about Jack. To find out whatever Jack wanted to tell him, and he had a feeling there was a story there, a story that he wanted to hear.

It was strange, sitting in the same spot as the night before, but in bright perfect daylight. No darkness to hide either of them anymore. Everything illuminated. It was easier to see Jack, to try and gauge what kind of man he was. His hair was cut short, almost military, except for the little mohawk he’d grown up top that he somehow made look badass. The t-shirt he was wearing was old and worn out, Metallica, holes at the collar but he wore it anyway; must have been a favourite. The less factual things came next, the things that came from feeling and intuition: the lines around Jack’s eyes and mouth could have been from anything, even just genetics, but Angus liked to think they were from smiling wide and long, etching the lines deep; the way Jack looked out at the lake made Angus hope that he was curious about this place and wanted to do more than just sit on the deck, that he wanted to go out and explore the place Angus loved so much.

“This place is crazy pretty,” Jack said through bites of his food, interrupting Angus’ internal observations. “You said you grew up here?”

Angus swallowed and set his sandwich down. “We came out here all the time when I was a kid,” he said. “Me and my grandfather.” He laughed a little to himself as he watched the light refracting off the water, almost mesmerized by it. “He used to come out here and we’d take day trips into the woods. Learning survival skills.”

“Really?” Jack asked through another mouthful, polishing off the first sandwich before opening the second.

“Yeah,” Angus nodded. “This one time, we brought my friend Bozer out here. And Bozer had bought all this great equipment cause he thought we were going camping. Like, fancy stove, and sleeping bag, and lantern. And then we got here and my grandfather made him leave it all here at the cabin. We went out with nothing but the clothes on our backs and some flint.”

“No way,” Jack had stopped eating. “Oh man. Your grandfather sounds awesome. I think I’d like him.”

“He is awesome,” Angus said, suddenly looking down at his hands. His grandfather _was_ awesome, so why hadn’t he called? Why the divide between them? It hadn’t just been his dad leaving, because his dad had left so long ago, hadn't just been MIT, he knew his grandfather was proud of his accomplishments. But somehow they’d drifted apart and he wasn’t sure why. Maybe because Angus had gone off to do what his dad had wanted, becoming a scientist, instead of choosing his own path like his grandfather had always encouraged.

“Angus? Angus?” Jack’s voice floated to him and he jerked his head up to see Jack looking at him with concern, a warm hand on his forearm. A tight grip, callused fingertips. Which would have made sense if he _installed_ bathroom tile, not sold it. But maybe he had hobbies that caused those rough fingers, and Angus didn’t mind the feel of them anyway. “You get lost up in there?” Jack asked with a tentative smile, removing his hand and pointing at Angus’ head. “You went away for a minute there.”

“Yeah,” Angus shrugged. “Sorry, I do that sometimes. Just get caught up in my thoughts I guess.” He picked up his sandwich and finished it, silent for every bite. But the silence didn’t stretch or feel awkward, so he left it, instead of filling it like he normally would have felt compelled to do.

“How long were you plannin’ to stay?” Jack asked, as he sipped at his coffee. “When you came up to work on your PHD theory or whatever?”

Angus smiled. Normally when people used the wrong words it drove him crazy, but for some reason he found it endearing in Jack. “Thesis. I was gonna head back on Friday. But now…”

Jack nodded, took another sip and looked out at the water, something thoughtful lingering in his big dark brown eyes. “I feel bad, you know, that I interrupted your plans,” he said. “I mean. Why don’t you stay on another day or two? Won’t bother me none for you to hang around and work on your star stuff or whatever.”

Angus smiled, but it was a sad smile. There was no way he could agree to that. Not when Jack had paid for the whole cabin to himself. “I couldn’t-”

“Consider it repayment for breakfast,” Jack said with a grin, finally looking back at Angus and away from the glistening water. And there it was, and Angus had been right: the lines from the corners of his mouth to his eyes matched up perfectly with that smile. “Plus, it’s up to you. You’re the one’s gotta sleep on the couch.”

“I just…” Angus trailed off. Why not? What could it hurt? He’d get more time with the stars and the lake. Angus told himself that was what it was: he wanted more time to star watch, like he’d planned. More time to himself at the cabin he loved.

“Well, you think on that slick,” Jack said, getting up from the chair. “I’m gonna go on and wash up.” He headed back into the house.

Angus was just thinking that he’d take Jack up on the agreement, when the guy passed him by again with a towel and a little duffel bag on his way to the lake.

“Hey, you know there’s a shower in the bathroom, right?” Angus asked.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Jack asked, shooting a smile back over his shoulder. With a sure-footed stride he made his way down toward the water. Angus just shook his head and smiled. It wouldn’t do any harm to stay for a few extra days.

 

Jack gave one more quick glance at Angus over his shoulder on his way down to the water. The look on the guy’s face told Jack that he was seriously considering the offer. Jack was glad, he hadn’t wanted to mess up somebody else’s escape. And they seemed to get on well enough.

Jack took his shirt off and slid into the water in his boxers. Sure, he’d known he was coming to the lake, but he was supposed to be coming to a secluded lake all by his lonesome and he hadn’t brought any swim trunks. He’d been planning on a solid week of skinny dipping just like god intended.

The lake bottom was sandy, and off the end of the little dock the water was just up to Jack’s ribs. And it was a chilly lake. But that just got the blood flowing. His toes dug pleasantly into the sandy bottom, grabbed his soap and lathered up his hair and face and all the bits still above the surface.

He dove down to wash it all away, and when he popped back up he found Angus had come down to sit on the dock and keep him company, maybe even answer his question.

“Bit cold, right?” Angus asked.

“Not the coldest I’ve ever been,” he admitted.

“Too cold for me,” Angus said.

“Naw,” Jack replied, coming back up to the dock and resting his forearms on the wood. “Puts hair on your chest. Come on in, it’s bee-you-tiful.”

Angus’ smile widened as he looked down. “I’m good, didn’t bring any trunks with me,” he said.

Jack shook his head spraying water from his hair all across the dock.

Angus put his hands up as though he could block it and laughed.

“I didn’t bring trunks either,” Jack said swimming back out into the water and floating on his back to show off his boxers.

“So, you rented a lake house but didn’t bring any swim trunks? How does that track?”

“Didn’t figure I’d have an audience,” Jack admitted with a wink. “Come on in!”

Angus shrugged, stood up and started to lose his clothes.

Jack closed his eyes and floated on his back in the pleasantly cool water. Angus wasn’t wrong, it was cold and he wouldn’t be able to stay in all day. But it was refreshing and did make him feel raw and new again. Just what he’d wanted out of his trip.

A splash washed over him and when he righted himself he found that Angus had decided to jump in. The guy was so pale it was almost blinding. Scientist, that made sense. Especially for a scientist who made his living watching stars at night, Angus probably saw less daytime than most.

“Hey now!” Jack scolded mockingly. “That wasn’t very nice.” He cupped his hands and splashed water in Angus’ direction. And that’s how the water fight started.

Their shouts and yells and laughs echoed around the small little lake, the trees throwing the sound right back at them. With each splash of water and each deep belly laugh Jack felt younger. He felt the weight of everything he carried lift away: all of the burdens he wanted to leave behind. Work, having the lives of others placed in his hands on an almost daily basis; Personal life, failed relationship after failed relationship, going home to an empty apartment day after day. All of these things were forgotten with the simple act of splashing water with someone he barely knew. Someone who had no expectations of him. Someone he hoped could stay a few more days. Jack suddenly realized that he hadn’t wanted to be alone at all, he just wanted to spend time with someone who wouldn’t look at him and want something that he couldn’t give them anymore.

Then Angus got him good: water right up the nose.

“Oh, it’s on now,” Jack growled as he swam closer, planted his feet on the bottom, got ahold of Angus’ arm and pulled him in for a light headlock. Nothing serious, nothing like the actual combat holds he knew, just horseplay.

Angus laughed under his grip, and flipped around to escape. Jack was prepared. He bent under the water, hugged Angus’ middle, lifted and flipped the guy backwards into the water.

Angus was still laughing when he came back up for air, even choking a little.

Jack grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him a little. “You ok man?” Jack asked, truly concerned. He’d meant it in fun, hadn’t wanted anybody swallowing a lungful.

“Yeah, yeah,” Angus said through choked breaths, grabbing hold of Jack’s forearms.

Jack reached up instinctively and pushed the long golden hair out of Angus’ eyes so he could read there if the guy was telling him the truth. The touch felt intimate, but Jack didn’t care. Last thing he needed was his landlord’s grandson dying while he was renting his cabin.

“Come on man, you sure you’re alright?” Jack asked, looking into Angus’ eyes. And man, those eyes. So blue and wide and full of possibility. It was like he could see the genius right there in just a look.

Angus’ reply was a splash of water into Jack’s face. And then it started all over again, pushing and shoving and wrestling around in the water until they were both so out of breath they could hardly stand on the uneven sandy bottom.

Jack crawled out first, and took Angus’ arm to pull him up onto the dock where they both collapsed on their backs and closed their eyes against the sun, panting for breath. Jack flopped his head over to look at Angus, who was already looking back at him.

“I hope that means you’ll stick around for a day or two,” Jack said with a grin.

 

 

Angus had no idea what it was about Jack Dalton that made him want to open up and share things. But he spent the whole day with the guy, walking around the lakeshore and showing Jack his favourite places growing up. Where you could catch fish if you were casting from shore, and the good spots if you went out in the boat. There was a cove where the turtles laid eggs on a secluded little sandy beach. And the old tree house back in the woods that he’d built. It was a pretty sad excuse for a treehouse since his grandfather had made him build it with scraps, but it was still standing. And all of it spilled out of him in a way it never had with anyone else. There was just something about Jack that made him the most himself.

When they got back from hiking around all day, the sun was setting. Jack insisted on making him dinner from the groceries he’d brought. Steak. Angus had accepted reluctantly; he didn’t feel right taking over Jack’s vacation and eating his food too. But Jack had insisted with the southern hospitality that ran deep in his blood.

“I am gonna sleep like the dead tonight,” Jack said as he sat down on the deck to watch the sunset, handing Angus a second beer.

“Yeah, it was a good day,” Angus agreed.

“Not gettin’ much done on that thesis of yours though,” Jack said, clinking his bottle against Angus’.

“There’s always tomorrow,” Angus said, taking a sip, and feeling just a little more guilty for that lie. It was only a half-lie, but he still felt something inside, more than guilt, about lying to Jack.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Jack said. “That’s how vacations go, right? Always tomorrow. And then suddenly it’s over.”

Angus never wanted it to be over. It had been one day and all he wanted was to spend the next month forgetting the outside world and staying at the cabin. But he’d always felt that way at the lake. It was like nothing else existed and he could be whatever he wanted there. He could be just a regular person instead of some genius who started MIT at 17. He could be a regular person who liked to hike and swim and catch fish and do the simple things in life instead of stringing together formulas and forming hypotheses about the universe.

Angus sighed.

“That’s a pretty big sigh dude,” Jack said.

Angus turned to find that Jack was looking at him. And there was fondness in that look that did something at Angus’ core that made him feel giddy and excited and afraid all at once. How could he feel like he knew someone so well when they’d met less than 24 hours before?

Jack held his gaze. And another one of those silences filled the space between them comfortably.

They watched the sun set, and it seemed to take no time at all as the conversation between them flowed easily and meaningfully. Where did they grow up? No surprise there, Jack was from Texas with a big family and ranch still there, a legacy to his father’s life. What were their parents like? Jack had lost father, Angus his mother, at different times in their life, but they shared that grief. What had brought them to their current occupations? Jack didn’t talk much on that one, but Angus made up for it by going on and on and on about his love for space and the stars and the science behind it.

Angus went on so long that it was full dark by the time he realized that he’d been talking for almost half an hour about stuff that probably made no sense at all to Jack.

Angus cut himself off mid-sentence while talking about Carl Sagan’s discoveries about the temperatures on Venus. “Sorry, god, I’m sorry,” he looked over at Jack, who was staring at him. Angus didn’t know him well enough to read that look: boredom or interest? “I just, I get going sometimes and I… you should have just told me to shut up, like, a half hour ago,” he said with a laugh.

“No, don’t stop,” Jack urged, sounding genuinely excited.

“What?” Angus asked, searching Jack’s face in the dark to see if he was being pranked.

“Don’t stop talking about it,” Jack clarified. “I actually like hearing about all your geeky star stuff. I just… might need you to translate some of it into Jack-speak.”

Angus smiled and relaxed back into the chair, looking up at the sky. “Jack-speak,” he said softly. “I like that.”

And he was sure he could hear Jack smiling back in the darkness. Like somehow that crinkling at the corner of his eyes made noise.

He spotted something in the sky and suddenly got an idea. “Wait!” He said.

“What?” Jack shot up in his chair like he’d been slapped, and the look on his face was so serious, Angus was a little shocked.

“Sorry,” Angus said, “I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just going to say: let me show you, instead of just talking about it.”

“Show me what?” Jack asked warily.

“I brought my telescope,” Angus jumped up from his chair and ran into the cabin. “Be right back.”

 

 

Jack looked through the telescope at the tiny little glowing orb that seemed close enough he could reach out and grab it. “You’re telling me that’s a planet?” Jack asked.

“That’s Venus,” the excitement in Angus’ voice was infectious. “It doesn’t look so great on a small telescope like this one, but you should see it on some of the larger telescopes. It’s amazing.”

Jack smiled.

“Oh wait, but let’s look at Jupiter,” Angus said, giving a little tap on Jack’s shoulder. “Jupiter’s way better.”

Jack let himself get pushed out of the way as Angus crowded in to readjust the instrument. Jack watched with fascination. Long, nimble fingers turning dials and moving knobs, so excited it looked like he was shaking a little. The idea that someone could get so excited about their life’s work. That their life’s work could be something so worth doing, that it could change the way people thought about the universe and their very lives. The thought was tainted with sadness when Jack’s thoughts were drawn back to what he did for a living. He changed lives alright, by snuffing them out. Maybe he was in the wrong business. But it was too late in life to do something magnificent the way Angus did. Way too late to make that decision.

“Alright,” Angus said, looking down the eyepiece first, before smiling up at Jack and nodding. “Jupiter.”

Jack stepped close, and Angus didn’t step back. Jack was so used to people being scared and intimidated by him that he wasn’t used to someone wanting to be close to him, or even just being ok with it.

The bright orange ball glowing in the sight was amazing. He could even see the stripes of clouds across the surface.

“That’s Jupiter?” Jack asked, amazed. “Like, the planet?”

“Yup,” Angus answered, “588 million kilometres away from us.”

The awe in the guy’s voice drew Jack’s gaze up from the galaxy. Angus was looking up at the sky, and it glowed in his bright blue eyes. He drew a hand back through his hair.

Angus looked back down and caught Jack watching, but misinterpreted it. “Done with that one?” He asked, but didn’t let Jack answer. “You’re gonna love this one. Andromeda Galaxy.” He stepped in close again to adjust the telescope, and Jack didn’t step back at all. Angus didn’t even seem to notice, his passion overtaking him with fervour as he’d found someone to share it with. This time when he straightened up they were almost too close, and Angus was biting his lip in excitement.

Jack felt electric all over, like something in his chest might burst, like he might vomit, he didn’t know what. Their eyes locked. “It’s… it’s really good,” Angus said awkwardly. Awkwardness had been so rare between them that Jack thought maybe he’d misread something and stooped down to look.

The little swirl of white light that filled up the eyepiece was breathtaking. “Well ain’t that the purtiest sight west’a the Mississippi,” Jack sighed out, the Texan in him breaking through at the awesome view. “That’s a whole galaxy?”

“Andromeda,” Angus said softly, reverently. “Wait, wait, there’s another one,” he said, his shoulder brushing Jack’s in his haste to get Jack away from the telescope so he could readjust it. “This is one of my favourites.”

Jack looked up away from the eyepiece and watched Angus excitedly try to hustle him out of the way. When Jack didn’t move, Angus met his gaze. Even in the dark, those blue eyes of his shone like they were lit from the inside.

They were close. Very close, shoulders still touching, but Angus had turned toward him so their faces were almost meeting. There was a tight tension hanging in the air.

“Angus,” Jack said softly.

“Yeah?” Angus replied.

Jack just sighed it out, deciding to get it over with like pulling a bandaid off. “I’d really like to kiss you right now and if-”

Before he could finish, Angus’ lips were on his, and one of those nimble fingered hands slid to the side of his throat, fingertips gripping tightly at the nape of his neck.

Jack had sighed out all of his breath with those nerve wracked words and had to stop to take some air, pushing Angus back slightly.

“Oh god,” Angus said. As soon as Jack had pushed at him, he’d let go and taken two steps backward. “I’m sorry Jack, if I… I didn’t mean to… if you didn’t want…”

“Dude. Dude! Calm down!” Jack said. He reached out tentatively and grabbed Angus’ shirt between forefinger and thumb to imply he should come closer again. “I just needed a breath. But I asked you if I could, remember?”

Angus was shaking as he stepped up to Jack again. But as soon as he put a hand back to Jack’s neck in that same wonderful place, he stopped shaking. “I just… didn’t want…” he couldn’t finish the thought before their lips met again. And this time, with a full chest of air, Jack wasn’t stopping anytime soon.

 

 

Angus kept his eyes closed and kissed and kissed and touched and held and wanted nothing else in the world. He never wanted it to end. And he was so afraid of when it would. Afraid of the moment that Jack would say it was a mistake, the moment he’d be told he’d read the situation wrong. The moment he wouldn’t be wanted anymore.

Jack’s lips under his, the taste of beer on his tongue, the smell of his soap and sweat, the feel of hands touching him back, tentative, but there. All of these things combined to make Angus feel drunk. His head swam, his knees buckled. And yet, at the same time, his body surged, adrenaline coursing through his veins, blood surging and flowing south.

Jack’s hands were in his hair, tangling, and gripping while they continued to messily taste each other.

Angus’ hands ventured lower, sliding from Jack’s neck down over hard muscle to the hem of his shirt. He slipped his fingers up underneath that soft cotton and gently felt the skin there with the tips of his fingers, slowly flattening his hands until his palms were pressed against hot skin.

Jack broke his lips away and Angus knew that was it, he’d pushed too far, and now it was over.

Instead Jack pressed his face to Angus’ neck. “Jesus,” he mumbled against skin.

Angus felt bold. He didn’t want to keep being teased, keep wondering if this was happening or not. He ran his hands around to Jack’s back, his heart beating its way up into his throat until he felt he’d either choke on it, or have a heart attack, or both. “So, Jack,” he tried to keep his voice steady, and sound casual. “I’m pretty sure that bed upstairs is big enough for both of us.”

What the hell was wrong with him? This wasn’t the way normal people did things. Dinner and dates and slowly getting to know each other and then sleeping together. People didn’t just rush off and sleep with someone they knew nothing about. But there had just been something in the air between them from the beginning. Magnetic, like he was being pulled toward Jack. And he was fully prepared to dive right into it. If Jack gave him the go ahead, he knew he’d close both eyes and jump into that abyss.

Jack’s breath shuddered against Angus’ neck. Jack pulled them apart slowly, his hands still tangled in Angus’ hair. Their eyes met, and there it was again: drawn together. Jack’s eyes looked almost black in the dark, but Angus could see the heat in them, the excitement.

Jack’s hands withdrew, and he stepped back, breathing heavy as he looked toward the telescope and put his hands on his hips. He looked up at the sky. “You had…” he paused. “There was another one… you wanted to show me.”

Angus was confused, but his body was set in another mode, and his brain wasn’t thinking in terms of words, only actions and sensations instead. “What?” He blurted out.

Jack pointed to the telescope. “Another galaxy or star or planet or something.”

There it was. The moment was gone. And he’d been rejected. Why hadn’t he just left? Why had he let himself feel anything, even curiosity, toward this total stranger?

“Of course,” Angus said, smoothing down his rumpled shirt. “I… uh…” For a second he couldn’t remember exactly what he’d been planning to show Jack. But as his passion faded, the thoughts returned to him. “The… The Orion Nebula,” he stuttered out. “One of my favourites.” He moved over to the telescope and adjusted it.

Jack kept his distance, by the edge of the deck, hands splayed on the railing so he could lean forward almost like he needed help breathing and was having a panic attack or something.

Angus tried not to be self conscious about that. Tried not to think what Jack might be panicking about.

“There you go,” Angus said, stepping well back from the device so Jack could come and look, if he even wanted to.

Jack walked over, and met Angus’ eyes briefly before he bent down to take in the sight.

Suddenly Angus wished he had picked something else. The Orion Nebula was one of his all time favourite things to watch, and now he wondered if it would be tainted by this memory. He should have shared something less personal, something that didn’t mean anything at all: the Hercules Cluster, or the Dumbbell Nebula.

“Well, I never,” Jack said, and the tone of his voice didn’t sound strained at all. As though nothing had just happened.

Angus wondered for only a second if it had, until he nervously ran a hand back through his hair and found it still tangled and out of sorts from Jack’s rough fingers.

Angus turned away and grabbed for the beer he’d set aside when he’d gotten so excited about showing off the stars and galaxies and nebulas that he loved. He took a sour sip and set it down again. It just tasted like acid.

“I need you to know…” Jack trailed off behind him, and from the sound of his voice he’d stood back up and was facing Angus.

Angus didn’t turn to face him.

Jack tried again. “I need you to know, that’s not why I asked you to stay,” he said.

“Yeah,” Angus said bitterly. “I got the message.”

“Come on man,” Jack’s voice pleaded. “Look at me.”

Angus turned and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I didn’t ask you to stay because I thought…” Jack was having a hard time saying whatever it was he wanted to say and instead motioned between him and Angus as though that was a good end to the sentence.

“Wow,” Angus said bitterly, “yeah, I get it.”

Jack growled into the air, obviously frustrated. “No, Angus, what I mean is I didn’t ask you to stay cause I thought I was gonna get laid, ok? That’s not… I don’t want you to think that’s the the reason I asked you to stick around.” Then Jack took a step closer. “I just want to make sure… before, you do anything… _we_ do anything…” Another step. “That I’m not just lookin’ for an easy lay or something.” A third step closing the distance.

They were so close he could smell Jack’s soap again; Ivory, that clean old fashioned smell. So close he could really see Jack’s eyes, even make out the difference between the deep warm brown and the black pupil in the dark night. The want he’d seen earlier was still there, it hadn’t gone away. And he was so close.

“I know that’s not why you asked,” Angus said simply, because somehow he did know.

Jack closed the last little bit of space with a kiss that felt like a question. He came in rough, but seemed to hesitate and turn chaste at the last moment, keeping his tongue back and briefly sucking Angus’ bottom lip before pulling back again. To Angus it tasted like possibility, and he let himself get swallowed up in it.

 

 

The moment they fell onto the big, soft bed, Jack knew it was real. He wasn’t dreaming. The way his bad shoulder twinged when it took his weight to avoid dropping all 188 pounds of Jack Dalton on top of Angus; the pain made it real.

Most of their clothes had been lost on the treacherous climb up the stairs in the dark. Who had time for light switches when there was so much skin to touch instead? Now Jack was on top of Angus in the beautiful way too big bed, his forearms propping him up and giving him access to lick and taste and kiss all the skin he wanted so badly.

Angus writhed beneath him and Jack was almost done for. He groaned into Angus’ skin and fisted the sheets to try to keep himself grounded.

Never one for keeping quiet, even during sex, Jack’s mouth worked on its own with no permission from his brain. “Damnit Angus…” was all that came out.

“What?” Angus gasped under him. “What?” There was concern in his tone, like he was doing something wrong. How could he not know that he was doing absolutely everything so right that it was almost painful?

“You’re perfect, that’s all,” Jack breathed into ear, skin, hair, somewhere in that general area but Jack barely knew what was happening.

Angus laughed like it was a joke, and it occurred to Jack that he actually thought it was a joke, didn’t know how beautiful and intelligent and well spoken and passionate and wonderful he was. Jack had learned all that within ten minutes of meeting the guy, but Angus had no idea. Well, Jack had all the time in the world to teach him that it was true. Angus MacGyver was perfect.

Angus’ hands tickled at Jack’s sides until they met the waistband of his boxers and started to tug them down.

“This was not…” Jack huffed against the excitement fighting for his breath. “How I had… intended this… night to go down… but I am 100%… on board.” Why could he never just stop talking?

Angus’ fingers pushed the underwear as far as they would go from the position he was in, which definitely wasn’t far enough.

Jack opted to get some distance from the situation and slow himself down a little. Didn’t want the first show over too soon. He found Angus’ mouth and kissed him hard, tongues slippery and uncoordinated, before Jack slid down, kissing everywhere as he went. And Angus tasted just as good everywhere else. Neck, collarbone, chest, stomach. At which point, Jack pulled at Angus’ underwear and took them with him as he crawled off the bed.

Angus moaned in response, reaching feebly after Jack.

“Alright, alright,” Jack said with a grin as he dropped his own boxers to the floor. “Quit your complainin’ I’m comin’ right back.”

Angus laughed and pushed himself up on his elbows to look down his own body at Jack.

Jack just about crumpled to the floor. Even the silver moonlight couldn’t dim the gold in Angus’ hair, couldn’t take that bright icy blue from his eyes. He wanted to tangle his fingers in that hair again, but not pull it, just touch it and feel how soft. He wanted to watch those eyes go wide with arousal, the black of the pupils swallowing the blue. He wanted to lick every bit of skin to taste it and see if anywhere tasted different. He didn’t even care about his own pleasure anymore, he just wanted to make Angus feel everything.

“You lost up there?” Angus asked, mimicking Jack’s question from the morning when Angus had been lost in thought. “You went away for a minute.” The grin on his face was pure and beautiful and sexy and lascivious all at the same time.

“Oh, I didn’t go nowhere,” Jack answered, kneeling at the edge of the bed. “I’m right here.”

Jack started with Angus’ ankle, kissing the bone that stuck out there, then licked his way up calf to kneecap where he planted another kiss. Angus let his legs open to admit Jack between them and a craving to kneel there and feel inside overtook him like an orgasm all its own; warm, tight, pleasurable inside.

Jack put his lips to Angus’ thigh, but not to kiss, only to curse. “Son of a bitch.”

“What?” Angus sat up more, concern showing in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Jack giggled a little and met Angus’ eyes. “We ain’t got no supplies,” he answered, “if you get my drift.”

Angus laughed and fell back onto the bed. Jack crawled up the rest of his body, planting kisses between giggles here and there as he went until he got back to Angus’ beautiful, wonderful mouth and swallowed the laughter bubbling out of him.

Angus planted his hands on Jack’s chest, and with strength he hadn’t expected from the skinny scientist, Angus shoved him hard and Jack toppled over onto his back in the fluffy piles of pillows, blankets and sheets.

Angus crawled on top of Jack and grinned at him in the dark; an ear to ear grin that was all mischief. “We’ll make do,” Angus said.

It was strange for Jack to be under someone else, normally he was all control, all the strength, all the dominance. He lay there with Angus’ hovering over him, Angus’ beautiful fragile hands pressing him into the softness underneath, Angus’ mouth… oh god Angus’ hot, soft mouth licking at his neck and tracing the lines of his stomach until it went lower. With no preamble, that mouth sank down over Jack and made him groan and cry out with pleasure. Instinct wanted to take over, to push Angus onto his back and take what he wanted. Instead Jack let go and enjoyed the feel of being taken care of. He focused on the sensations of tongue and saliva and lips washing over him, wave after wave until he didn’t know if he could breathe anymore from the wonderful feeling.

“It’s too…” Jack groaned out between panted breaths. “I can’t… too much…” The moment his fingers slipped down to tangle in that golden hair he knew he was done. “You gotta… I’m gonna…”

Angus’ mouth was gone and suddenly he was on top of Jack and their bodies met like they were meant to slide together. Spit slick between them, sweaty from the warm night, Jack kept one hand in that hair, and slipped the other between them to take Angus in his hand.

Their lips met and they rode that kiss to the end, bodies frantically pushing for release against one another, Jack’s hand gripping and sliding.

Jack’s mouth took over when his orgasm hit, and he broke their kiss calling out into the air: “Angus, oh god, Angus.” Killer instinct took over, and, feeling vulnerable, he needed to be the one in control, so he flipped them over deftly and pushed his hips hard down onto Angus who immediately came from the pressure and Jack’s tight grip.

Angus didn’t say a word but gasped and moaned into Jack’s neck instead.

They lay together in a sweaty, panting, blissful heap until both of their brains had rebooted.

Angus kept kissing. Neck, cheek, ear, his lips grasped for skin. Jack wasn’t complaining one bit. It was heaven, it was perfect, and he never wanted it to end. He moaned appreciatively, and finally pushed back onto his forearms so he could look down.

Blonde hair was scattered across Angus’ face, stuck there with sweat. His eyes were better than Jack could have imagined, blown so wide they didn’t seem to be blue at all anymore. And his mouth, that mouth hung open gasping for breath. The things that mouth had just done. Jack put a hand to the side of Angus’ face and traced the bottom lip with his thumb. Angus sucked it in to his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. Jack bowed his head and mouthed almost drunkenly at Angus’ collarbone.

“You are gonna be the death’a me,” Jack said, “I can tell already. But it’s the perfect way to go.”

Angus laughed and spit his thumb out. “See, I told you we’d make do.”

“Make do?” Jack laughed and tipped them onto their sides. He wiped the hairs from Angus’ forehead. “Make do, Angus?”

Angus leaned in and kissed Jack again, deep and powerful and passionate still, like he just couldn’t get enough, like he still had the energy for more than just falling asleep. Jack ignored the soft bed trying to tug him to unconsciousness and returned the kiss, pulling Angus close. All Jack wanted in the world was to stay in that bed forever. And he refused to think about what would happen when he had to leave it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is probably going to be EVEN longer... sorry/not sorry.


	3. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sticking around for a few days" turns into the better part of a week, and Jack and Angus learn a lot more about each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me on this.
> 
> This thing has turned into a beautiful monster.
> 
> The last chapter is also going to be long... and is ALMOST done.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you SOOOOO MUCH BlackVultures for beta'ing this absolute BEAST for me!!!! And for all your advice and encouragement! I admire you SOOO MUCH!!!
> 
> Also: thank you to lavendersblues for letting me use Ranchverse in EVERYTHING I write... because it is canon for me in ANY Mac universe.

Angus woke up to the most wonderful smell: frying bacon.

He crawled out from under the blankets of the big king size bed and sat at the edge.

Another beautiful sunny summer day. The whole cabin was lit up bright, the white sheets almost glowing. Motes of dust hung in the air, twirling and spinning. They reminded him of galaxies. Little tiny galaxies spinning in the air, losing pieces to space as gravity let go.

Angus felt wonderful. His whole body tingled with satisfaction, anticipation, and, if he was honest with himself, a little nervousness. What would the light of day bring?

He searched the floor for his boxers, found them on the carpet at the foot of them bed and slipped them on.

With each step down the stairs, memories from the night before washed over him in beautiful, vivid detail. Lips against lips. Stumbling up the stairs without wanting to let go. The push and pull of muscle. The first orgasm that had seized his body and pulled sounds from his throat that he’d never thought he could make. Laying under Jack while their breath returned to normal. Feeling that pleasant weight pressing him into the mattress. The cool air across his sweaty skin, rippling goose bumps across his whole body when Jack rolled to the side. Jack’s scrabbling fingers on his body, refusing to lose contact. Talking in the dark while Jack absently ran callused fingers over his skin. The sudden adrenaline that sent his heart rate sky high when Jack rolled up against him a half hour later, ready to go again. The obscene groans that had come out of Jack’s mouth. The masculine scent when Angus ducked his face into Jack’s neck and breathed deep. The second orgasm rolling through him soft and slow, yet powerful, like thunder rumbling through the clouds. The hot shower, trying to lull him to sleep in Jack’s arms. The clean sheets they’d put on the bed, crisp and soft at the same time. Holding Jack in a loose, comfortable embrace. The gentle pull of sleep.

Angus reached the main floor, his body felt electric in the best way as all of the memories of the night before coursed through him like energy through a lightning rod.

The thoughts were interrupted by Jack’s whistling from the kitchen. Angus turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs and headed toward the kitchen.

Jack’s back was to him as he shuffled around by the stove, wearing his boxers and a white sleeveless t-shirt. The whistling carried on the air and Angus recognized AC/DC but couldn’t place the song. Until Jack started singing under his breath when he reached the chorus. “You! Shook me all night long. Yeah you! Shook me all night long.” Head banging along with the music he continued whistling while he fussed with a pan on the stovetop.

Angus cleared his throat as he sat down at one of the stools crowded around the small kitchen island.

Jack turned, not startled at all by the sudden approach, and shot Angus a smile that lit up the room. Angus couldn’t help but smile in return.

“Hey sleepyhead,” Jack offered, turning back to whatever was sizzling away in the pan. “Just in time. I thought you might sleep the whole day. I even banged the pan around a little on purpose when I took it out, but nothin’. You were sleepin’ like the dead.”

Angus gauged his words carefully. He wanted to say something provocative about why he’d slept so deep and so well, something about being worn out from the night before. But that saucy flirtatiousness just wasn’t him, and it wasn’t completely true either. “It’s my sleep schedule,” he admitted. “I’m used to staying up late.”

“Right, right,” Jack said, flicking the spatula deftly. “Up late for the stars and all that.”

“You know it.”

“Works for me dude,” Jack replied, “I love a good late night.” There was a little innuendo there, but nothing over the top. “And you’ve arrived just in time for the Jack Dalton breakfast special.” Jack turned around, his smile crinkling those wonderful laugh lines as he set a plate down on the island.

Angus was stunned. The plate in front of him was loaded with almost everything he could have imagined: bacon, hash browns, eggs (scrambled and sunny side up), and a piece of French toast.

“Jack,” Angus sighed, “this looks amazing. But I told you, I don’t wanna eat all your food man.”

Jack set a second plate down at the chair next to Angus. “Naw, don’t worry about it. Plus. The eggs and bacon are from your food stash,” he said with a wink.

Angus played annoyed, but couldn’t keep the grin from his face. “Ok, but you didn’t even ask. That’s not cool.”

“Well see, I figured it’s sorta like rent,” Jack said, scratching at his chin and looking at the ceiling like he was really thinking about it.

“Rent?” Angus asked, raising his eyebrows and crunching on a piece of bacon. “In my own cabin?”

“Ah, but a cabin I own for the week,” Jack said, “I can show you the receipt.” He grabbed his phone off the counter like he was actually going to pull up the email again. “And I paid to have this big beautiful squishy king sized bed all to myself. And I just think that half of that space is worth some eggs and bacon.”

Angus smiled wider. They fell into banter and jokes so easily. From moment one they’d just gotten each other and it was such a wonderful feeling; like constantly falling but never hitting the ground. “Half of that space?” he said. “Well, maybe if you’d let me _have_ half the space, I wouldn’t argue, but since you spent the whole night trying to push me off-”

“ _Excuse_ me,” Jack drew the words out long, “but in the great state’a Texas that’s called cuddlin’ and I could definitely avoid that in the future if you really want.”

In the future. The flutter those words put into Angus’ chest was like being drunk. “No, it’s fine,” he said, trying to tone down the silly smile on his face that he was sure looked idiotic it was so wide. Instead of continuing to gaze into those deep brown eyes, he looked down at this breakfast, picked up his utensils and dug in.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Jack said, taking a few hurried steps to the coffee maker. He came around the island and reached over Angus’ shoulder to set down a steaming mug of coffee. “Coffee, black, for old blue eyes here.” 

Once the hot cup was safely on the counter, he wrapped his arms briefly around Angus’ middle and planted a soft kiss on the skin just under his jaw. Angus knew, from touching exactly that spot over and over in his self-conscious youth, that it was his birthmark. Jack’s scruff tickled and scratched at the skin and brought back more memories of the night before. Angus’ skin flushed at the thought.

“I’ll let you dig in then,” Jack said softly before sitting down beside him and starting in on his own plate. “What’s the plan for today?” He asked.

Angus wanted to say: Everything, let’s do everything. And he would have if his mouth hadn’t been full of food.

 

 

They’d decided on getting dressed and heading out for another hike into the woods. Jack finished cleaning the kitchen despite Angus’ protests, and headed for the stairs. He stopped short. Angus stood, naked except for his boxers, outlined by a halo of light around his whole body, like he was glowing. But that wasn’t what stopped Jack short. The guy was leaned over the couch, digging through his bag of clothes, looking for something to put on.

Jack reached over the couch, grabbed the bag, pulled it out of Angus’ surprised hands, hefted it over his shoulder and walked up the stairs with it.

“I assumed you’d be wearing your own clothes,” Angus said, following behind. He didn’t sound upset, just amused. “That’s my bag.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jack said. “Figured you might as well keep it upstairs since you’ll be sleepin’ up here for the rest of the week.”

Jack tossed the bag onto the bed and started to dig through his own clothes.

“The rest of the week?” Angus asked, uncertainty clouding his voice. “I told you I don’t want to interrupt your vacation. You wanted to come out here to be alone and… I mean a couple days is one thing but-”

Jack turned and tried not to grin too wide, but his face just couldn’t help it, not with Angus around. “That offer changed last night,” he said, walking closer. “In case you hadn’t worked that out, genius.” 

Close enough now to touch, Jack reached out and grabbed Angus’ hips pulling them together fast. They’d shared enough tenderness the night before, and being gentle might imply some hesitation that Jack didn’t feel or want to project. So instead he made his grip strong, and his actions fast, so Angus would understand just how much Jack wanted him there. Wanted him to stay.

Angus opened his mouth to say something else, smiling, but his eyes were a little sad. Jack silenced the unsaid words by taking Angus’ lips in something that was half-kiss half-bite. He slipped his hands around and pulled their hips impossibly closer.

Jack let go of Angus’ lips and brought a hand up to cradle his cheek. “That is,” his voice was low, and soft, and almost pleading in a way he might have been ashamed of, if he didn’t care so damn much about the outcome of the offer, “unless you got somewhere else to be. But I’d like you to stay as long as you want.”

Angus grabbed at Jack’s shoulders, gripping tight there and started to walk backward toward the bed.

Jack growled and bent his head to lick at the skin of the beautiful birthmark just under Angus’ jawline.

“I think,” Angus gasped, “I’d like to make an addendum to the itinerary today.”

Jack didn’t move his lips away, just spoke against Angus’ impossibly soft skin. “How can you use big words like that right now?” He asked. “I must not be havin’ quite the effect I’d thought.” Jack’s tongue flicked out and traced the skin up to Angus’ ear.

Angus moaned in response, legs hitting the bed, he tried to fall backward into the unmade sheets. Jack didn’t let him. Instead he used his considerable muscle to hold tight and keep them both upright. “I ain’t done yet,” he smiled against skin.

The noise Angus made in response to being held up, licked at, and wanted, was nothing short of a needy keening.

“My plan for this mornin’ is to make you forget big fancy words,” Jack said, nosing at Angus’ temple while he spoke into his ear. “Anything over two syllables means I ain’t doin’ my job right.” He pulled back far enough that he could slip Angus’ boxers to the floor. “Out of curiosity,” he said as he pulled Angus back against his still-clothed body. “What kind of changes were you hopin’ to make to our plans?”

“This,” Angus gasped, hands still gripping tightly to Jack’s shoulders like he was afraid Jack would drop him. “Just this.”

Jack backed up enough so that he could look into Angus’ eyes, the blue of them glowing so bright in the light that Jack couldn’t help but be floored by his beauty. To break the sentimentality that was welling up in him, Jack opted for a joke. “Would you look at that,” he said, looking at Angus’ mouth and licking his own lips, “down to one syllable words already.”

Angus’ mouth quirked into a smile that was full of mischief. “Geosynchronous,” Angus softly rolled the sciencey-sounding word around his tongue, his grin growing wider and hardening the lines of his chin and jaw.

Jack licked at the dimple in the middle of Angus’ chin. “Challenge accepted,” he said with a quirked eyebrow before he shoved Angus back onto the bed.

Angus crawled backward until his legs weren’t dangling off the edge anymore, completely surrounded by a wonderful soft pile of blanket, sheet and pillow.

Jack pulled his shirt off, but didn’t immediately join Angus. “You know, the best part about making somebody…” Jack paused to choose his words carefully. “Fall apart?”

“What’s that?” Angus asked, propping himself up on his elbows.

Jack dropped his shirt on the floor, but left his boxers on, this wasn’t about him. “It’s all about…” Jack leaned against the end of the bed, but didn’t get onto it. Instead he dragged his fingers lightly over the top of Angus’ foot. “Anticipation.” Jack had plans. He wanted to draw sounds from Angus, make him feel every inch of his body electrified with want and pleasure. Jack knew he could do it, knew exactly where to touch and what to say.

Angus suddenly looked vulnerable. He held out a hand to Jack, like he wanted help up from the bed. At that look, and that simple gesture, Jack ignored his own desires and plans, all of the things he’d wanted to do, and took that hand.

Angus pulled hard, bringing Jack down on top of him. He took Jack’s face into his hands and Jack suddenly felt vulnerable too. How did he do it? Make Jack feel so many things so unexpectedly?

“I don’t want to fall apart,” Angus admitted, before he kissed Jack softly. “I-”

Before he could say anything else, Jack kissed him hard and desperate like they hadn’t just decided to spend the rest of the week together. Pushing their hips together, Jack’s underwear wasn’t as much of an obstacle as he’d intended. Angus’ legs parted to let Jack rest comfortably there, and he brought his legs up to circle Jack’s hips, rocking back against him in blatant invitation.

Jack had never been so turned on his whole life and his body and mind weren’t prepared for it. 0 to 120 in two seconds flat; Angus’ soft, pale naked body under him, tongue in his mouth, and those rocking hips that wanted more than Jack could offer without the proper supplies. Jack broke the kiss and grunted hard again Angus’ neck, teeth clenched with the almost unwanted orgasm that he’d been trying to suppress, trying to draw out. Fighting against it only made it more intense, and he whimpered at the feel of every muscle going tight.

Angus gasped under him in surprise, fingers digging into Jack’s tensed back muscles.

Jack pushed up on his hands and looked down at the disheveled man underneath him. He expected to see disappointment or frustration. But Angus was smiling, and gently tracing Jack’s smile lines with his fingers. Jack was so grateful for that. 

He lay back down like he was going to kiss Angus' mouth, but instead kissed his cheek, then the dimple of his chin, birthmark, pulse point, collarbone. It didn’t escape Jack’s notice that he liked to kiss places that meant life or death, places he knew he could use his expertise to break or hurt. But instead of breaking or hurting he drew pleasured sounds and touched gently. A kiss for the breastbone, a lick down each rib, a messy wet, sloppy kiss at the bellybutton. All the way down Angus’ torso until he was in the right place, kneeled between thighs that had fallen open invitingly.

Angus’ blue eyes were almost black, even in the bright daylight; pupil swallowing reason and rational thought along with the blue, leaving only desire behind. His chest heaved with excited breaths that he huffed out of that wide beautiful mouth. The mouth that had done such wonderful things to Jack the night before.

Jack lowered himself, licking his lips as he watched Angus’ reaction. Finally he touched down, taking Angus into his mouth. He took no time to set a slow pace and build up. There was no gentle beginning, taking a little more with each return. It was fast and deep and wet and hard and all things immediately. No waiting.

The sounds Angus made weren’t words at all. There was no train of thought associated, there was only pleasure.

Jack kept his eyes on Angus, watching each roll of his eyes, the way his lips formed each gasp and sound like there were words he wanted to say but he just couldn’t remember what they were from moment to moment. Always Angus’ gaze returned to Jack and they held something between them. Something delicate and wonderful and beautiful and Jack couldn’t look away if he wanted to.

The sounds became more and more desperate very quickly and Jack added a tight grip to the mix. Angus grabbed at the hand that Jack had left on his hip, holding it tightly, and words returned.

“Jack…” trailed away to a moan that Jack was sure people would hear all the way in town. “Jack you need… I’m going to… stop, you should stop.”

Instead Jack quickened the already impossible pace he had set and finished what he’d started, every tastebud in his mouth overloaded by the intense flavour that spilled over there. Angus’ grip on Jack’s hand tightened so both of their fingers’ turned white. He curled forward up off the bed toward Jack, panting grunts and groans full of desperation and surprise. Angus’ free hand gripped Jack’s shoulder like a vice that might bruise, but Jack couldn’t care. Bruises were nothing to him.

Once Angus had fallen back to the bed and taken to writhing at the way his over sensitized skin was still being tongued at and played with, Jack slowed and pulled his mouth off. Angus had never asked him to stop, not pushed him away or given him any indication it was too much, and Jack didn’t want it to go to that place, so he stopped before he knew he’d gone too far.

Angus’ orgasm had left him laying in the most awkward position, thrown aside like a rag doll: limbs tangled in each other, neck still arched backward into the pillows. Jack slid a hand underneath Angus’ body and straightened him out before curling up along his side and wiping the hair from his face.

“What say, you ready for that hike dude?” Jack asked with a grin before laying more kisses on Angus’ shoulder.

“I think…” Angus panted, still regaining his breath. “I’m gonna… need… a few… minutes.”

“I don’t think that’s on the itinerary,” Jack grinned wider and kissed pale shoulder again, still savouring the taste of Angus on his tongue.

 

 

Angus had blurted out the idea of turning their hike into an overnight trip into the woods, and had been completely surprised when Jack had readily agreed.

So they tramped through the woods with backpacks and sleeping bags until they reached Angus’ grandfather’s camping spot. A place he’d been to a million times before.

“Alright, let’s gather a bit of firewood,” Angus said, glancing at the woods around them, “get some rocks to make a fire break, and settle in.”

Angus piled the rocks in a small circle, and Jack loaded the little fire pit with what he’d found in the woods. When Angus pulled out the flint and crouched to start the fire, Jack deftly grabbed the little tool from between Angus’ fingers. Crouching next to Angus, who didn’t move a muscle, sure Jack wouldn’t be able to get the fire started and ready to be smug with his wilderness skills, Jack slipped a knife from his pocket, and started the fire with one strike of the flint.

Angus tried not to let his jaw hit the ground, but he couldn’t keep the awe from his face.

“Oh come on now,” Jack said, falling back from his crouch to land on his butt on the rough ground. “You didn’t think ole Jackie boy was totally useless did you?” He winked and offered the flint back to Angus, who pocketed it.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” Angus asked as he got up and shifted their packs around so they were closer at hand.

“Lots’a practice,” Jack admitted.

Angus moved to sit down next to Jack, but reconsidered as the cool evening moved in. Instead he sat behind, bracketing Jack with his long legs, wrapping his gangly arms around the other man’s chest, putting his chin on Jack’s shoulder. Immediately Jack took hold of those arms and pulled Angus in tighter, planting a kiss on one of his wrists, right over his pulse point.

“Practice, where?” Angus asked, coveting the warmth that came off Jack in waves.

“In the army of all godforsaken places,” Jack admitted.

Angus almost wished he had taken the seat next to Jack so he could see his face.

“You were in the army?” He asked. The muscle and skill was starting to make sense. That kind of training and discipline didn’t just disappear when someone left the service.

“I was,” Jack admitted, his voice a little more solemn. “Few tours in Afghanistan. I was overwatch for bomb techs. Trompin’ through the desert and takin’ apart IEDs.”

The fire crackled as it caught some particularly dry branches and sent sparks up into the night, filling the silence between them.

“I almost joined up,” Angus admitted.

“No way,” Jack said, twisting his body to look at Angus’ face, admiration shining in his eyes.

“Almost,” Angus clarified with a sigh.

“Why almost?” Jack asked, not sounding disappointed but genuinely curious as he turned back to the fire. He took both of Angus’ hands in his own, and played with them absently while he listened; tangling his own larger fingers between Angus’ more delicate ones, rolling the knuckles around gently, tickling at the space between pointer finger and thumb.

“My whole life I spent trying to impress my dad, you know?” Angus admitted. It felt good to talk about. Though he rarely did with anyone. The whole quest for his father’s approval actually made him feel ashamed of himself sometimes. A lot of the time.

“I get that,” Jack sighed out, but didn’t elaborate.

“When I told my dad I wanted to sign up for the army, and go help people he was just so…” Angus trailed off, searching for words, and anger bubbled up in their place. But he let it come out. “Disappointed. Like helping people, and fighting for my country would be such a stupid thing to do. He kept telling me that I owed the world more than that. More than my life? Really? More than protecting other people? People who risk their life everyday for the rights that I take for granted?” It didn’t escape his notice that now, those people risking their lives, included Jack. And somehow it meant even more now that he hadn’t put himself on the line for those people.

Jack squeezed Angus’ hands in his own, and cocked his head to the side to press against Angus’ cheek. It was the most tender little moment. Tiny movements that spoke volumes and offered unsolicited support.

“But I…” Angus licked his lips, his mouth feeling dry. “I listened to him. I graduated MIT, majored in Astronomy, got my masters and…” he trailed off, almost letting too much slip out.

“And here we are,” Jack finished. “It ended up just right.”

“Just right,” Angus said softly, turning into Jack and kissing his neck. He left his lips there and closed his eyes, breathing in that heady scent that was all Jack Dalton. This person who was pretty much a stranger to him, but who felt like so much more. It seemed like they’d known each other forever, like years together stretched behind them, but it had only been two days. Almost exactly two days.

“So you and your old man aren’t that close, I’m gathering?” Jack asked. “Moreso with your grandpappy it sounds like.”

Angus nodded. “Yeah,” he sighed. “Me and my grandfather drifted apart a bit after all of that. He never said anything, but I think he was disappointed that I listened to my dad. Didn’t become my own man and all that.” And even after all that, his dad had been disappointed in him too, so he’d made the wrong choice and lost his whole family in one fell swoop.

“Come on now man, you can’t think like that,” Jack said, rubbing his hands comfortingly along Angus’ forearms. “Look at you. Big science nerd, about to change the world with your thesis and all that.”

It stung to be reminded that he was lying to this beautiful, wonderful man who was putting so much faith in him. A sob stuttered in Angus’ chest, but failed to come out, and he faked a little cough to cover it. He wrapped his arms tighter around Jack. Truth or not, it didn’t matter because in a few more days Jack would walk away too. Walk away and never look back.

“Well, I’m proud’a you,” Jack said into the silence. “Not everybody needs to pick up a gun to change the world, Angus.”

Angus felt his lip quiver, felt his eyes fill up, and his arms tightened like a vice around this big, sweet, perfect teddy bear of a man he was holding. He clenched his jaw and let the few tears fall silently while he tried not to ruin the moment by being emotional, wanting to stay in it forever as the fire crackled and the sun set and Jack continued to rub soft little circles on the back of his’ hands.

 

 

As Jack watched the sun go down, leaning back into the arms around him, and relishing the heat from the fire warming his face, he felt a few wet tears fall on his shoulder, soaking through his t-shirt. In combination with the controlled quivering of the body behind him, Jack knew Angus was going through something. Spilling emotions out for someone to see would do that. Jack had been there. Many times. So instead of confronting that pain, and making Angus feel any shame from it, instead Jack continued to touch softly and comfort the best way he knew how: warmth and holding. He even rocked a little back and forth.

More than anything in the world Jack wanted to turn around in those arms, pull Angus into his chest and tell him that he was beautiful and wonderful and that he would change the world in his own way. But they hadn’t known each other long enough for something like that, so Jack just continued to trace those tiny little circles around on the back of Angus’ hands, hoping with everything in him that it was enough to make him feel loved.

After the sun set below the horizon, the real chill started to creep in. Jack knew that cold well. It was the same cold of the night time desert in the sandbox. The same cold as staying out too late in the fields on the ranch after sundown. The cold that crept into your bones if you weren’t careful.

“Bout time for us to unroll them sleeping bags I think,” Jack said. “Not that I ever wanna move from this spot, but you must be gettin’ mighty chilly back there with no fire in front of you.”

Angus finally spoke up, his voice a little hoarse. “Got all the fire I need right here,” he said squeezing his arms around Jack’s chest. “But you’re right.”

Neither of them moved.

Jack almost suggested that they zip their sleeping bags together, but the middle of the cool night time woods was no place to get kinky, and though the shared heat would be nice he knew they wouldn’t be able to be that close without laying hands on and making a mess of themselves.

Finally Angus uncurled from around Jack, and he could feel the reluctance in the way the guy pulled away, taking his hands out of Jack’s grip, sliding his arms back.

They unrolled their sleeping bags and crawled in, prepared for a night of looking up at the stars. They moved the bags close to each other, so their heads were near and they could whisper back and forth like teenagers, even reaching out and taking each other’s hands as the conversation or occasion warranted. And sometimes when it didn’t.

Jack was just starting to drift off when he felt the first drop his his cheek. Years of tactical training and preparation had him awake instantly, though his body didn’t twitch or even move an inch. He still held Angus’ hand in his own, clutched loosely. For a moment he was convinced that it was just a drop of dew falling from the treetops; nothing to worry about. But then he noticed that the stars were obscured, blocked out by clouds, and another two drops hit, one on his forehead and another on his exposed neck.

“Just great,” Jack sighed out, sitting up slowly. When he slipped his fingers away from Angus, the guy let out the most beautiful and heartbreaking whine. It was the whine of someone who felt unloved, and Jack cursed anyone who had ever made Angus MacGyver feel that way. It made Jack want to hunt down Angus’ family and make them forgive him. 

He put a hand to Angus’ shoulder, and said his name softly.

Those beautiful blue eyes fluttered open, and then he twitched and cringed when a few droplets hit his face.

“Time to go amigo,” Jack said, louder. “We’re about to get wet.”

Angus looked confused for only a moment before the downpour started in earnest, soaking them to the bone almost immediately.

“Oh come on!” Jack yelled at the sky, even raising a fist. “Couldn’t’a given us a head start?”

They scrambled out of their sleeping bags, packed up anything that was left sitting around, shouldered their packs and started back through the woods.

Half asleep, Angus seemed unsure of the way, though he swore he’d walked it a thousand times before.

“I got you,” Jack said, taking the lead. Tracking skills had always been one of his fortes, and on their way to the campsite he’d been paying close attention. Jack refused to ever be caught unawares somewhere. It was a mentality that was so deep in him he prepared for it without even thinking.

It still took them over an hour to get back to the cabin, and by the time they did, they were both soaked through and shivering. The moment they were through the door, lightning cracked across the lake and thunder shook the cabin.

“I’m sure as hell glad we weren’t out in it for that,” Jack exhaled.

“I… am… freezing,” Angus admitted as he dropped his pack to the ground and headed for the bathroom. He was shaking almost uncontrollably.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get you warm in no time,” Jack said, and there was no innuendo in it. He meant it. Shivering like that wasn’t a good sign. Poor guy had no fat to store his heat.

While Angus stripped, Jack turned the shower on warm to start. He’d increase the temperature as they warmed up.

They stepped under the water together and Jack rubbed at Angus' freezing cold skin until it was warm again and the shaking had stopped; it didn’t take long, it hadn’t been anywhere near serious. But Jack couldn’t help but snap into survival mode sometimes.

They shared a few wet kisses before Jack stepped out of the shower. Angus made to follow, but Jack held up his hand.

“You stay right there,” Jack commanded. “I’m gonna get us some clothes I’ll be right back.”

He dug out some sweatpants and t-shirts and watched Angus crawl right out of the hot steamy water and into the warm clothes before they ran up the stairs and tumbled into bed together.

With an entire king size bed to share, they rolled toward the middle, and each other, tangling their warmth together and drifting off while they listened to the thunder roll and the rain beat at the roof.

 

 

The next day was a kind of domestic bliss that Angus had never looked for or expected from any part of his life.

The rain didn’t stop, pounding incessantly at the roof and walls and windows. They couldn’t even see the lake for the heavy downpour.

Instead they made a hearty breakfast and returned to bed, without clothing, to roll and tumble and moan and touch and kiss and lick and feel. They felt everything. And once they’d felt everything, they slept and woke to feel it all over again.

Angus lay, heart still pounding like it wanted out of his chest, Jack’s hands still on his body, listening to the rain on the roof overhead. The rain that made him pull Jack closer, and want to steal more of his warmth. 

Jack burrowed his face into Angus’ neck, planting more kisses there while Angus watched the roof above them as though he could see the rain through it.

“I might run into town today,” Jack mumbled against Angus’ skin. “Pick up some supplies. Might as well not waste a nice day for that.”

Angus pulled Jack closer still, their sweat covered bodies sticking together almost painfully. Neither of them cared.

“No good,” Angus said, “heavy rain like this, the road’ll be washed out.”

“Are you saying, that I am trapped in a cabin with you until this rain lets up?” Jack feigned a pained groan. “I got no idea how I’m gonna be able to stand it.”

Angus laughed, and it was genuine and pealed out of him in wave after wave. Apparently contagious, Jack joined him, and leaned up on one elbow to meet Angus’ eye.

“I think you’ll figure something out,” Angus said.

Just as Jack was leaning in for a kiss, Angus picked up one of the pillows and hit him hard in the face.

Jack’s face got serious. “Oh, it’s on now.”

After the pillow fight, Jack made old fashioned cocoa. “Just the way they still do it on the ranch,” he’d promised, “none of that instant crap.” Still not ready to get up and get moving, and the rain giving them no motivation they returned to their pillowy hideaway.

Curled around each other in bed, Angus leaned over to the nightstand to grab his cup of cocoa. His hand stumbled over a novel, some spy thriller he didn’t think belonged to his grandfather.

“Is this yours?” Angus asked, picking it up. It was well worn, the spine unreadable.

“Yeah,” Jack said. “I brought a few along, since I thought I’d be all alone with nothing but time on my hands. Turns out there was plenty here to occupy my hands.” Jack tickled his fingers up Angus’ stomach before grasping his neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

Angus savoured that kiss for a moment before curiosity overtook him and he turned back to the book in his hand. Jack moved his mouth to sensitive neck and continued down until he was pleasantly snuggled into Angus’ side, scruff rubbing the skin there while he closed his eyes and started to doze again.

Angus opened the first page and read aloud. It started in the middle of an action scene; a Navy SEAL jumping out of a plane and dealing with parachute failure before making a miraculous landing. The moment the SEAL’s feet hit the ground at the bottom of page three, Angus stopped reading.

Jack piped up, speaking against Angus’ stomach. “Hey handsome,” he mumbled sleepily. “I was enjoying that, why’d ya stop?”

“How can people read this crap?” Angus asked, ignoring the obvious fact that it was a well-read book of Jack’s. “Physics doesn’t work that way. And neither do airplanes!”

Jack chuckled, the movements and huffs of air tickling Angus’ naked skin. Jack pulled him in tighter when he started to squirm away. “Well, I got a secret for you,” Jack opened one eye a crack to look up, “parachutes don’t work that way either.”

“So, why do you read this stuff if it’s so obviously just… garbage?” Angus asked. The last time he’d read a book for pleasure it had been on quantum theory. He flipped further into the book, reading sentences here and there as though he could find the secret of its popularity.

“Cause it’s fun,” Jack said, opening both eyes now, and flopping further on top of his human-pillow, resting his chin on Angus’ hip. “Not everything’s gotta make sense genius. Sometimes you’ve just gotta shut your brain off and have a little fun.”

“Huh,” Angus raised his eyebrows over the book. “Other than this crap, you have any idea how I might go about shutting my brain off?”

“I got a few ideas,” Jack said, grinning and stretching all the wonderful lines in his face as he crawled up over Angus’ body.

Angus tossed the book to the floor and took Jack in his arms.

Once they finally decided to get out of bed, they rooted around the cabin and found an old deck of cards that was missing the 4 of diamonds and the Queen of spades. They played War all afternoon, Jack insisting that he had skills, and Angus afraid to tell him that it was a game of pure luck, though he knew Jack wasn’t that stupid.

At one point Angus opened up the old record player, and put on one of the few old vinyls that was still hanging around between books on the shelves.

As the needle dropped and a wonderful crackle filled the air, Angus watched Jack for a reaction. He wasn’t sure exactly how the classic rock country boy would feel about the old fashioned music Angus' grandmother had loved.

Jack looked up from where he was scooping coffee, and a soft look filled his eyes. He smiled and even though he was looking at Angus, it was like he was looking back in time at the same moment. He swayed a little with the sound of the music and finished putting the coffee on before he walked over to Angus and held out a hand.

Angus looked at it like it was a rattlesnake, and refused to reach out and take it.

“May I have this dance?” Jack insisted.

“But I don’t…” Angus trailed off. There had never been time to learn to dance. There’d never been anyone to teach him. Not actual dancing anyway, nothing more than the awkward childhood dances he’d shared that were just swaying back and forth at arm’s length under the eye of a teacher. He swallowed hard as though there was an audience watching them. “…Don’t know how to dance.”

“It ain’t hard,” Jack said. “Here, let’s get this damn couch out the way.”

They shifted the couch into the corner, leaving as wide a space as possible in the middle of the little room.

Jack moved in close, and took Angus’ hands in his own. “I’ll teach you the steps, and then I’ll show you how to lead.”

They went slowly, Angus easily memorizing the steps, but it was harder to fit it to the music while trying to match someone else’s movements. Once he knew the steps and Jack taught him to lead it was easier, since Jack had to follow him.

Tightly clutched hands, the rain still coming down, the soft hissing of the record. There was something magical about it. Like they’d stepped back in time. No computers, or phones buzzing at them, no one else to step between them and say they couldn’t do anything they wanted to do. Or love anyone they wanted to love. Just the two of them spinning in precise, yet relaxed circles.

Until Angus turned Jack into a dip, and went a little too low.

They collapsed to the floor together in a heap of laughter, hands still clutched together as though they were still dancing.

Angus was laying half on top of Jack, their faces close. Jack switched his grip and slid his fingers between Angus’. As their laughter faded a wonderful look of contentment passed between them. Angus leaned down and kissed Jack lightly, and then opened his mouth to taste and feel the things that were starting to become familiar to him: the way Jack’s bottom lip always shuddered a bit the first time he opened his mouth, the rhythm they fell into with their lips, the perfect taste of Jack. They weren’t the fervent passionate kisses of lust, instead they were the sweet, soft kisses that hinted at a promise of something more, something that could last.

Angus pulled back and looked down at those deep brown eyes. He wanted to just look at them forever, and had wanted that since the first night he’d laid eyes on Jack, he realized suddenly.

“Where did you learn to dance like that?” Angus asked.

“My mama taught me,” he answered. “Wanted me to be a right gentleman. Used to listen to this radio show with all sorts of old timey music, and whenever one of her favourites would come on she yell at me ‘Jack Wyatt Dalton you get in here’ and it didn’t matter where I was I had better come a’runnin’ when I heard that tone. And that’s how she taught me to dance. Little moments here and there. It’s one of the few sweet, real girly things my mama loves is dancin’.”

“What about your dad?” Angus asked. “Didn’t your dad dance?” He was reluctant to bring it up, since they’d talked about it: their losses, Angus’ mother, Jack’s father.

Jack smiled sad. “Pops never was a dancer, had two left feet.”

Angus shook his head. With the rain and the clouds, he didn’t want to spend the rest of the day wallowing. And all of that was in the past, no reason to sit and dwell on it. Instead he smiled, hoping it wasn’t tinted with too much sadness. “Well, other than learning to dance, I think the most important thing we’ve learned here is that your middle name is Wyatt?”

Jack’s grin returned. “Oh come on now! Did I let that slip?”

Angus devolved into laughter. “Jack Wyatt Dalton,” he repeated, trying to roll away from Jack but still connected by their intertwined hands.

Jack rolled on top of him, grabbing Angus’ other hand and pinning them to the floor over his head, interlacing the fingers of both hands. “You best watch it,” Jack faux threatened. “That’s a secret I don’t share with anybody. You’ve gotta promise to keep it to yourself or there’ll be repercussions.” There was a little actual danger hiding there deep in Jack’s eyes, but Angus trusted him.

“What kind of repercussions?” Angus asked, wiggling suggestively.

“Oh man, you’re gonna be the death’a me,” Jack said as he leaned down to take Angus’ mouth in his own, but those kisses were passionate instead of soft and sweet.

The rest of the day was a lazy affair of cuddling close to keep warm, and making dinner together in the kitchen while they sang Iron Maiden. Apparently Jack was the karaoke champion in four states, though Angus wasn’t sure who exactly would decide something like that. He said as much to Jack, who continued to insist that it was true.

How could two people just fit so well together? Angus wondered it all day. Stuck in a cabin with no internet, or window on the outside world, just each other. And there was nothing that irritated them about the other, nothing that didn’t feel right. Their minds and personalities fit together just the same way their bodies did: as though they were meant to be there, had found their place in the universe. Even when they bickered it was fun and pleasant.

For a long time Angus hadn’t thought much of the idea that there was someone out there for everyone. That there was someone meant to be, some kind of fate pulling people together.

Angus had never believed in soulmates. Not until he met Jack Wyatt Dalton.

 

 

The absence of the sound of rain woke Angus. His eyes opened slowly. The light was still dim. He rolled toward Jack, but no one was there. Not surprising. Jack didn’t sleep much, and got up early almost everyday. Angus fell back into the pillows and watched the ceiling, waiting for his body to be ready to get up, to start moving, start functioning.

A warm, bitter scent in the air caught his attention and he rolled toward the bedside table, pulverizing fluffy pillows like a bulldozer as he went across the massive bed. A steaming cup of black coffee waited there, next to the ridiculous spy novel they’d read a few pages of the day before.

“Damnit!” Jack’s voice echoed up from downstairs. It wasn’t a serious curse, Jack was just annoyed. Angus loved that he knew that about Jack already. Could read just the tone in his voice already.

“What?” Angus replied sleepily, sitting up and sipping at his coffee.

“Aw shit, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Jack hollered, his footsteps creaking the stairs as he came up.

“You didn’t,” Angus said, sinking back against the headboard and drinking more coffee.

Jack finally got to the bedroom, looking at a shiny object clutched in his fingers, a cord dangling to his knees. “My damn trimmer broke,” he frowned and looked up.

Angus almost spit out the coffee in his mouth. Once Jack looked at him straight-on it was obvious: he’d been buzzing down his hair on the sides and had only gotten halfway through. One side was significantly longer than the other.

Finally Angus managed to swallow the mouthful before he set his cup down and started laughing.

“Awesome,” Jack said, unimpressed, but a little grin quirked the corner of his mouth. “Thanks for the sympathy man. Is it really that obvious?”

Angus tumbled out of bed, still laughing. “Don’t worry, I might be able to fix it,” he said, grabbing for the trimmer.

Jack quickly and deftly slipped his hand behind his back to keep the trimmer out of reach. “Seems I don’t really care about it that much after all, “Jack grinned, looking Angus’ naked body up and down. He reached out for that body with his free hand.

Angus stood back and crossed his arms. “First, you look ridiculous,” he laughed again, “and second, you need a shower first. You’re covered in little bits of hair.”

“Spoilsport,” Jack groused, tossing the trimmer to Angus who caught it.

Angus took the trimmer to the wall where he plugged it in and flicked the switch a few times. He found his pants on the floor and fished out a Swiss Army Knife that he used to pry the cover off. He flicked the switch a few more times.

“Yeah. I should be able to fix this if…” Angus dropped the trimmer on the dresser and rushed to pull some clothes on.

“If?” Jack asked, following suit more slowly.

“If my grandfather’s wiring cart is still stocked in the workshop.” Angus grabbed the trimmer , almost forgetting to unplug it, and jogged down the stairs.

 

 

Jack followed behind, ducking under tree branches and chasing after Angus along the barely-there, overgrown pathway. It wasn’t far. They emerged into a little clearing. The trees were slowly taking the place back and branches brushed against the walls and windows of the small building that filled up the centre.

“This…” Angus grunted as he pushed open the swelled-up door that had seen better days, “is my grandfather’s shop.” He stepped inside and motioned for Jack to follow.

Large plexiglass windows and one skylight let in a dusty light, dimmed by the dirty panes. It was almost magical. Jack loved it immediately. It smelled like spilled motor oil and sawdust and reminded him more than a little of the ranch.

Angus started picking through the piles of junk that had been stacked around the small place, and Jack was mesmerized. There was some kind of beautiful combination of concentration and determination in those beautiful blue eyes and it stopped Jack in his tracks.

Angus knelt next to a soggy box on the ground and dug through it for a bit before pulling broken records from another, and then digging through a stack of random cuts of wood; like he was magically going to find Jack a new razor in the middle of it all.

“Man, do you guys ever throw anything out?” Jack asked, as he tore his eyes away from the focused genius and picked up an old broken lawn ornament to examine.

“Not if I can help it,” Angus said, face contorted with concentration. “Everything’s good for something. Why throw it out?”

Jack could only hope that Angus had the same view on people that he did on random crap. Jack wanted to be kept. Wanted to find a usefulness and a place. Wanted to go from being the throwaway junk to being someone’s treasure.

Jack put the old lawn ornament back and started to marvel at the decades of crap that were piled up around him.

“Oh man, yes!” Angus called out.

Jack turned around but couldn’t see him anywhere in the crowded little room. “Where’d you go man?” He called out, hand instinctively reaching back for his gun again even though nothing was wrong. It was such a go-to habit and he hated that he’d never realized it before. So accustomed to reaching for it meant that he wore it more often than he didn’t. Meant that he used it more often than was necessary. Jack clenched his fists tight and tried not to long for the cold metal grip in the palm of his hand.

Angus’ hand shot up over a pile of boxes. “Marco!” The genius yelled.

“Polo!” Jack called back with a smile, rounding the boxes. “What you got hoss?”

Angus was digging in a pile, trying to free something. “My…” he grunted with the effort. “First telescope!” He said, tugging it free and falling back into Jack, who caught him deftly, and put him back on his feet. Angus didn’t step away, and Jack didn’t let go.

Angus looked at the case reverently. “I didn’t know…” There was throat-constricting emotion in those words.

“Didn’t know?” Jack prompted. “Didn’t know what?”

Angus looked up at Jack, and he was all naked emotion, his eyes a little glassy before he looked back down at the case he held so tenderly it was like he was holding something alive. “I didn’t know he’d kept it. I always assumed my grandfather got rid of it.”

“Now why would he go on and do a thing like that when it’s obvious you love this thing?” Jack asked.

“We are absolutely setting this up tonight,” Angus’ sadness turned to excitement, the glossiness in his eyes sparking into joy.

“You got it man,” Jack replied, following an excited Angus to the exit of the shack. “Whatever you want.”

Just before Angus slipped through the door, Jack called out: “What about my trimmer though?”

Angus looked up, and snickered at Jack’s appearance one more time, before he found the wiring cart by the door and gathered up some supplies. He piled tape and wires in Jack’s arms to bring inside, not trusting the telescope to anyone except himself.

 

 

The clouds finally cleared up throughout the day and the sun set on a perfect night.

Angus sat on the deck and waited, like a kid at Christmas, for the darkness to set in and the sun to finally let go of the day. Even though it was below the horizon, it was still sending light around the curve of the earth.

He’d set the old telescope up next to his new one. The grandfather and child, waiting together for their chance to watch the heavens.

Jack sat next to him, each of them a beer in hand, just watching and waiting and being still and quiet.

The water lapped at the dock and the shore, making splashing, gurgling sounds. The trees swayed around in little breezes, the leaves brushing against each other like whispering in the darkening evening. It was perfect. A perfect night was setting in, several perfect days stretched behind them, and the perfect companion sat beside him.

Angus started to wonder how it was that Jack had so quickly become familiar. Comfortable. Wanted. He glanced over at Jack, whose eyes were closed, head leaned back against the chair. He tipped his beer up to his lips without even opening his eyes.

Suddenly Angus didn’t want to the light to flee so quickly, because then he wouldn’t be able to trace the lines on Jack’s face, or the little quirk he wore at the corner of his mouth all the time, like he was always grinning at some private joke. The way the light contrasted the salt and pepper of his scruff, the silver that hadn’t quiet spread to his hair yet. The silver that made Jack seem, not old, but worn. Too worn for a salesman. One of those things the war had probably done to him; drained him a little, sucked some of the life away. Angus wouldn’t ask about that. He didn’t need to. He knew that if Jack wanted to share any of those stories they would tumble out of him the way the rest of it did; honest and perfect and funny and sad. Jack was a natural storyteller, waving his hands around and contorting his face to suit the subject matter. Those hands, in the fading light, were marvellous to behold. Large and strong where they rested on the arm of his chair, or gripped his beer bottle. But Angus knew they were soft and gentle, and just the thought sent a shiver down his spine, wanting that touch.

A wave of guilt followed that shiver up from his gut and into his throat. He still hadn’t been honest about why he’d come out to the cabin. Not that it was a huge secret; it felt more like a lie of omission than an actual betrayal. And yet, it ate at him. He just wanted to tell Jack everything.

Jack opened his eyes and turned his head toward Angus. “What’s on your mind genius?” He asked.

Angus swallowed hard, guilt and excitement fighting for the rights to his voice and breath. “Nothing,” he lied.

Jack smiled wide, and shot a wink in Angus’ direction. “Nothing? I doubt that very much,” he said, trying to take another sip of his beer and finding it empty. “I got the feelin’ that your brain is always workin’.” He stood up and headed back inside. “You need another one?”

“No, I’m good,” Angus said, his words still catching in his throat.

When Jack returned he started in on a story about him and his cousin George cutting down a tree at the ranch and ruining his uncle’s truck. Angus got caught up in it, his laughter surging up from deep down and stretching his mouth almost wider than he thought it could go. Their chairs had gotten closer and closer throughout the telling, and had slowly turned away from the view and toward each other. Jack fell against him. They stayed like that, shaking in happiness against each other. He laughed and laughed until his cheeks and stomach hurt He couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed that hard, even for a single moment.

The only reason Angus even noticed it had gotten fully dark was that he was straining to make out the brown in Jack’s eyes. Even though they were so close, he still couldn’t discern it from pupil anymore. Hands lay on arms, knees, thighs. Temples brushed cheeks as they leaned together in the dark.

“Weren’t you gonna try out that telescope of yours?” Jack asked.

Angus nodded, Jack’s stubble rubbing against his nose. Angus’ hands skimmed Jack’s hair, freshly trimmed and velvet soft against his fingers. “In a minute,” he dismissed Jack’s suggestion.

Jack’s voice was barely a whisper. “Aw come on now,” the smile was evident in the way he sounded, but their faces were too close for Angus to see it. “You were so excited about it all day.”

“It’s overrated,” Angus replied, pressing his lips to Jack’s. Soft and tender, touching for just a moment before pulling back. He’d never felt he could show that soft side of himself to anyone before. He’d expected judgement. Family life had taught him to be hard and strong and tough and not show emotion. But every emotion seemed to spill out of Jack so easily, and Jack was the toughest person Angus had ever met. So he let his own gentleness come to the surface, knowing Jack would take that part of him and keep it safe.

“I gotta disagree man,” Jack murmured, still not backing away. “I can’t say I think anything you’d get that excited about would be overrated.”

Those emotions Angus had been letting out little by little, surged and washed away anything else as he took Jack’s sandpaper face in his hands and kissed him hard, trying to pour all of what he felt into that meeting of lips and tongues and breath and voice. Angus had never been good expressing what he felt with words, and he hoped his actions would suffice.

Jack met him equally, hands in Angus’ hair, sloppily matching the movements of his mouth. But after a few minutes, Jack pushed back. “Now don’t get me wrong,” Jack said, “I ain’t opposed to heading to bed early tonight. But, you pulled that old thing out for a reason.”

Angus nodded, and rested his forehead against Jack’s for a moment before he sat back and then stood up.

Jack followed him to the telescopes, and Angus took a few deep breaths to keep his blood from boiling over before he made some last minutes adjustments on the telescopes.

“It’s a…” his thoughts were still having trouble catching up with him. “It’s a big difference between the two. Good example of… new technology versus old. Plus my new telescope is a pretty high end model.”

Once he got going about science and the stars, his brain wouldn’t shut down. He just loved it. Which, had been what the trip to the cabin was all about; reigniting his excitement and his passion about his life and the direction it was headed. He’d needed to find his love for the stars again, by starting at the beginning. What better place than his first telescope? Well, his first telescope and someone to share that excitement with. Somehow he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if Jack hadn’t been there he would have just been looking at stars and overthinking things. Looking at stars without really seeing them. But with Jack, he was able to see the excitement of someone seeing things for the first time, and it reminded him of seeing those same things the very first time. And it reminded him to stop and really look again. Really see the stars the way he did as a child: sparkling works of art created by science. Instead of science masquerading as beauty. When had he become so jaded?

All of these realizations piled up on him throughout the night. Across hours of switching back and forth and showing Jack the difference between the two instruments. Of showing Jack more and more beautiful and strange things to see in the night sky. And after a few hours of letting those internal thoughts mix up with his guilt and settle on his shoulders he let out a large sigh he hadn’t intended.

“You ok hoss?” Jack asked, looking up from the telescope at the sound of the sigh.

“Yeah, I…” Angus could feel so many things inside him. This great conflict warred in him to just tell Jack everything. Not just about his secrets, but about how much the last few days had meant, about the way he was starting… hell the way he was feeling about Jack.

He met Jack’s eyes and just when he thought he was going to burst with words, Jack just smiled, and the beast inside Angus went back to sleep again.

“You wait right here,” Jack said, pointing a finger in his face as though he was threatening something if Angus’ didn’t obey. Jack darted inside, and when he returned he had a pair of blankets from the couch. The old scratchy wool ones of his grandmother’s.

Jack took Angus’ hand and pulled him away from the telescopes.

“What are you doing Jack?” Angus asked with a small, unsteady laugh.

“Let me show you how we watch stars in Texas,” Jack replied, looking back as he tugged Angus with him toward the shoreline. Angus would swear that smile of Jack’s glowed in the dark it was so big and bright.

Their footsteps echoed on the dock as they walked to the end, the silence of the night making them seem almost ominous. Jack sat down on the boards that were still a little warm from the daytime sun, and pulled Angus down to join him.

Once they were laying on their backs and looking up, Jack tucked one of the blankets around Angus before seeing to his own.

“Why, exactly, are we laying on the dock?” Angus asked.

Jack answered the question with a story, and Angus was really starting to love Jack’s story telling voice. “When we were kids, me and George and Jake, we’d get up in the middle’a the night and take off in the truck. We always thought mama didn’t know, but a’course she did. Anyway, we’d drive on down to the river and sneak out onto the dock and sit in the middle’a the river and watch the stars. Jake, he knew all the constellations, and he’d try to teach us.” Jack mocked a voice, Angus assumed it was Jake: “See that there’s Taurus, and Gemini’s over there, and Sagittarius.” He paused for a minute, his voice soft and sentimental. “And me and George we wasn’t havin’ any’a that. Jake was always a bit of a romantic that way. But we couldn’t ever see it. Couldn’t see the shapes he tried to point out.” Jack giggled. “Me and George spent most of the time making up dirty shapes in the sky. Playboy connect the dots, if you get my drift.”

Angus laughed along, his shoulder blades digging into the hard boards with every shake of his body. He looked over at Jack who was fixated on the sky, lost in memory. 

“I can teach you some, if you want,” Angus offered.

Jack’s eyes widened a little as he looked back. “I’d like that Angus.” The sound of his name on Jack’s lips made his heart ache. All he wanted was to keep Jack forever.

Angus got as close to Jack as he could, their shoulders pressed tight together, and started pointing out constellations. “Cassiopeia’s a good place to start,” he said. “Nice bright stars.”

Throughout the night he taught Jack a few, and by the end of it, he could easily find them again himself. Angus had forgotten about simply sitting back and looking at the basics. Jack just kept bringing himself back to what he loved about… well, everything. Even something as simple as laying back and listening to the water lap at the dock. A simple thing that he would never have taken the time to do himself.

It wasn’t until Jack pointed out that he couldn’t find Cassiopeia anymore that Angus sat up and looked east.

“That’s because it’s almost dawn,” Angus said with a smile, pointing toward the horizon, arm resting on Jack’s chest.

“Well shit,” Jack said, taking hold of Angus’ arm and not letting him have it back. “Can’t remember the last time I watched a sunrise. How ‘bout it?”

Angus just smiled and nodded.

The chill of the water underneath, and the dew gathering around had chilled them through, but they were determined. They sat up, cross legged, arms around each other and shared blankets, storing the heat between them. Angus had always run warm, but Jack was like a furnace, and didn’t complain when Jack put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in closer.

“Just gotta keep warm until that ole sun comes up,” Jack said softly, lips turned in toward Angus’ neck.

“How do you plan to do that?” Angus replied, letting Jack tickle at him with breath and lips.

“I got a few ideas,” Jack smiled, and Angus could feel it against his skin.

“But if we get caught up in staying warm we’re gonna miss it,” Angus pointed out.

“How about, you keep watch, and I’ll keep you warm.”

Then the kissing started in earnest, Jack’s mouth tracing jawline, and skimming over birthmark while his hands roamed. He was pretty chaste, keeping his hands above the belt, even if his kisses were driving Angus more than a little crazy; little puffs of fiery breath creeping under his shirt collar, misting his body; heating him up but making him shiver at the same time.

Angus kept his hands still, distracted by Jack’s attention and the fact that if he dove in and started touching, he’d lose track of himself in it.

“Jack,” Angus whispered as the sky grew lighter, voice a shuddering mess. “Jack. Jack,” more insistent.

“God I love when you say my name,” Jack said against this wonderful place he’d found on the back of Angus’ neck. Obviously he thought Angus was just caught up in the excitement, which was more than a little true, but also the sun was about to break the horizon.

“No, Jack,” Angus said, tugging at Jack’s t-shirt underneath the blankets, the act of pulling him closer counterintuitive to what he actually wanted. “The sun,” he managed to get out.

Jack slowed, stopped, and rested his cheek against Angus’.

 

 

Jack had watched a lot of sunrises in his life. Usually, the occasion that warranted being awake at that hour of the day wasn’t necessarily a nice one. Most of the time it was that an op had run into the wee hours. And those kind of ops were usually ones that had gone sour. So even if he was awake, he usually wasn’t watching the horizon.

So, to sit with Angus, cuddled close, keeping each other warm under blankets just watching, was a whole new and different experience. His hands didn’t grasp or tease, they just held, Angus’ returning the favour. Wonderful firm pressure on shoulders and ribs and hips, keeping each other close without expectation or need.

The lead up had seemed to take forever, but once the sun broke that horizon line it rose quickly, and Jack watched night turn to day, fascinated. The shadows fleeing, the light taking over. It happened slow and fast all at once and suddenly they were bathed in light.

He glanced over at Angus, whose head was dropping toward his chest, his eyes closing.

“‘Bout time to get you to bed I think,” Jack said into his ear.

Angus didn’t startle, or open his eyes, he just nuzzled his face into Jack’s voice and they cuddled like that for another minute before Jack stood up and pulled Angus with him. They stumbled up to the cabin, Angus leaning heavily on Jack, barely able to put one foot in front of the other.

Jack deposited him on the couch.

“I’m gonna make a quick run into town alright,” Jack said, leaning down close to where Angus had already started to fall asleep, cocooned in the two blankets they’d brought with them to the dock.

“Why?” Angus asked, reaching out blindly and grabbing only air. “It’s nicer with you here.”

Jack couldn’t help but smile wide at the half-asleep mumbling.

“Won’t be long, I promise,” Jack said. “Gotta pick up the supplies to make Mama Dalton’s world famous fried chicken for you.”

Angus answered with a muffled, “Mmmhmm,” as he shouldered his way further into the blankets. Jack watched for another moment as Angus’ breaths lengthened and relaxed, the little puffs moving his golden hair around in the light. Softly, Jack tucked those few locks back away from his face so they wouldn’t tickle the genius awake.

Jack changed and grabbed his keys, taking one last look at Angus sleeping in the sunshine before he opened and closed the door as quietly as possible to head into town.

The trip took much longer than he’d expected, though he shouldn’t have been surprised; Angus had told him it was a bit of a drive. But on that first day when he’d come back with beer and breakfast, it seemed like no big deal. 

45 minutes each way was a big deal to Jack, but it was worth it. The town was quaint and reminded him of where he grew up; little local stores that had been run by the same families for generations. It didn’t take him long to grab the things he’d come for, what he could find anyway, hop back in his SUV and gun the engine back to the cabin. Back to Angus.

Jack tossed the groceries onto the counter and checked on Angus: still asleep on the couch, but he’d turned, probably once he was warm enough, and the blankets were scattered around him like a little tornado had come through the place. The wonderful warm sunshine he was soaking in would be enough to keep him toasty.

Looking out the windows at the beautiful warm sunny day, Jack wanted to clean up. The gritty up-all-night feeling stuck to him in a greasy layer. At the same time, he didn’t want to waste a moment in such a beautiful place tucked away in the dark bathroom. He grabbed his bag of soap and headed for the dock.

 

 

Angus dreamed of warm places and things: firesides, Jack Dalton, hot showers, Jack Dalton, warm beds full of blankets, Jack Dalton.

A single cool drop of rain hit his face, and he wondered if they were back at the campsite. The clouds were rolling in again and it was about to pour. That’s ok, they would keep each other warm.

Another few drops peppered his face and Angus tried to roll to the side to avoid more drops hitting his face only to find a familiar couch spring poking into his lower back. He came up little by little from sleep to find he was going from pleasantly cozy to cool, and there was a weight pressing down on his legs, keeping him from moving far.

He groaned a little and cracked his eyes open against the warm sunshine. Jack loomed over him, shirtless, and speckled with light. Angus blinked a few times to clear the sleep from his eyes. Jack wasn’t speckled in light, he was speckled with droplets.

The moment Jack saw that his eyes were open, he leaned down over Angus and shook his head like a dog, spraying water everywhere.

Angus laughed, fully awake in a second. “Why are you soaking wet?” He asked, shoving Jack hard to push him up and away and stop the constant dripping of water onto his face and chest.

“Washed up in the lake,” Jack replied, not letting Angus’ hands push him far. “Thought maybe you could use a wake up call.”

Angus’ hands stayed on Jack’s bare chest even though they weren’t doing any good, the guy wasn’t moving an inch. “Aw man, you’re freezing, get off!” He laughed, there wasn’t any actual heat behind the words.

Jack leaned down more so their faces were close. “Thought maybe you could warm me up,” he said, licking at his lips as his eyes were drawn to Angus’ mouth.

“Is that right?” Angus asked, trying to roll again and finding that his hips were pinned tightly where Jack sat on top of him. Instead of trying to fight it, and despite the fact that he’d just been enjoying his warm and cozy sleep, he slipped his hands around Jack’s cold neck and pulled him down for a kiss. The water still wandering down from Jack’s hair and across his face in little streams had gathered on his lips and made them cool and wet. Angus felt the droplets fall into his eyelashes and dribble down his nose onto the couch underneath him. Why did everything feel so much more real with Jack around? Every sensation, every single little drop of water crawling over the pores of his skin, was so clear and distinct. Like life had finally come into focus.

Their lips and mouths grasped at each other, pressing closer and harder until Jack was laying on top of Angus, his wet skin and boxers transfering water to Angus’ clothes and soaking him through.

“What say…” Angus trailed off for another kiss. “We take this…” Another kiss. “Upstairs?”

“Well that’s the best idea you’ve had all day genius,” Jack said, sitting up tall and crawling off the couch. He offered Angus a hand, and pulled him up to standing.

“It’s the only idea I’ve had all day,” Angus joked, looking down at his wet clothing. “Not the nicest way to wake someone up, by the way.”

“You loved it,” Jack replied, heading for the stairs.

Something in the kitchen caught Angus’ eye and he glanced that way. Several bags of groceries sat out on the counter.

“Anything in there that needs to go in the fridge?” Angus asked.

Jack trotted back down the stairs and poked his head around the corner. “Damnit!” He said, wandering over to the bags. “Never mind the fridge. I gotta get the chicken marinating!”

“For health and safety reasons I’d like to request that you get dressed first,” Angus said, eyeing Jack’s mostly naked, still glistening wet body. “I’ll put away a few things and meet you upstairs.” Angus gripped Jack’s hips and shoved him back towards the staircase.

Jack nodded at the offer.

Angus picked through the bags, leaving the chicken out on the counter since Jack was coming down to deal with it right away, but putting the rest away. He opened the last bag and stopped short. A small box and a little bottle stared up at him from the bottom of the white plastic bag. He smiled, grabbed the bag and headed up the stairs.

Jack’s jeans were pulled up and buttoned, but the belt hung loose and undone. Since he had a towel over his head and was vigorously drying his hair he hadn’t put on a shirt yet. 

Angus tossed the bag aside on the dresser, forgetting exactly what he’d wanted to say to Jack about it. Instead he stepped close and grabbed Jack’s belt. The leather was soft and worn. He slid the belt through the buckle and pulled it through, knuckles brushing skin as he found the right notch, the one that was pulled wide and distorted with use.

Jack had stopped moving. When Angus looked up he found those big brown eyes staring out at him from underneath the towel.

Without breaking eye contact, Angus ran the backs of his fingers up stomach, tickling at the hairs that he found so attractive.

Jack’s mouth opened a little, like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t quite figure out what.

Angus found the man fascinating. Like a science experiment. The way touching, and tasting, and smelling him made Angus’ insides melt and turn to jelly was so intriguing. What was it about this one person that flipped the world upside down?

They closed the distance at the same time, each moving towards each other like they were being drawn by gravity. Planets about to collide, pulled dangerously close to each other by physics and the forces of nature.

And then their lips met and brought everything back down to earth; sensation and mouths and breath and mingled saliva. Jack’s hands, still cold from the lake water, made their way around Angus’ middle, pressing the cold through his shirt to his lower back. Angus kept his hands between them, feeling at the wonderful skin of Jack’s stomach; the way the muscles tightened and relaxed with each heave of breath and groan of appreciation.

There was no grasping expectation or urgent need in the way their bodies met. No tugging at buttons on pants, or undressing. Instead it was comfort and softness and pleasure in something simple, something chaste. It didn’t arouse Angus, it just made him happy, and though he dragged Jack toward the bed, there was somehow no implication there.

Laying side by side, wrapped up in each other, Jack’s lips wandered away from Angus’ mouth to pepper lazy little kisses along jawline, throat, collarbone. In return, Angus ran his fingers through cool, damp, velvety hair and massaged gently at Jack’s neck and shoulders.

Kissing slowed and Jack sat up on his elbow to look down at Angus, an intense look in his eyes, fingers resting still on Angus’ stomach under his shirt.

Angus looks down self-consciously under that gaze and toyed with Jack’s fingers through fabric.

“What?” Angus asked.

Jack kissed Angus’ temple softly, before whispering against his ear. “I just can’t stop lookin’ at you. I never get tired of it.”

Angus wanted to wrap his arms tight around Jack, hold him and never let go. And it wasn’t just the nagging voice in the back of his head telling him to hang onto someone who finally seemed to care about him for no other reason but who he was. Something else, something he couldn’t explain through psychology or biology or any kind of science, made Angus want to keep Jack.

Angus wanted to respond, form some kind of echoing sentiment, but he was choked with emotion. When he met Jack’s eyes again, the grin on the handsome scruffy face told him that he didn’t need to say anything because Jack already knew.

“Let’s just lay here all day,” Jack groaned, rolling half on top of Angus and snuggling into him the way they’d done during their rained-in day. He’d already found a few places he liked to nuzzle into when they were holding each other close.

Angus took Jack’s face and pulled him back up in bed so they could kiss a little more. “If we do that, I’m never gonna get that dinner you promised,” Angus smiled.

Jack’s eyes opened wide and he sat up. “Dude! That chicken has got to marinate at least four hours or Mama’ll have my hide!” He rolled out of bed, feet tangled up with the sheets, and fell to the floor with a growl, almost pulling Angus with him.

Angus fell back into the bed laughing so hard his stomach hurt. He’d never met another person who made him laugh so much and so often. Or feel so much at all, if he was honest. The sad confessions fireside at the campsite, talking about his grandfather and his first telescope, domestic moments full of laughter, all of these things added together to make a wonderful mixture of feelings. Angus felt like he’d been numb for years and hadn’t really ever felt anything at all before he met Jack Dalton.

Finally Jack untangled himself and stood up, grabbing a shirt from the floor and pulling it on. He headed for the stairs like the place was on fire.

“You stay right there handsome!” Jack called back over his shoulder, pointing a finger back toward the bed. “Sleep a bit more, you still look tired.”

Angus stripped the wet clothing into a heap on the floor and rolled to Jack’s side of the bed, breathing in the scent lingering there. He closed his eyes. He could still feel the tingly spots where the cool droplets from the lake had fallen on his face. He dozed in the bed, lulled to sleep by the warm afternoon spilling into the cabin and the sounds of Jack busying himself in the kitchen, singing Led Zeppelin softly.


	4. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to go home, and go their separate ways. And it's tearing both of them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me through this absolute MONSTER... it wasn't supposed to be a monster... but here we are.
> 
> Thanks again to slightly_ajar for a title prompt on Tumblr that turned into a 40K+ fic. WOWZA DID NOT SEE THAT COMING
> 
> Also thanks to lavendersblues for really giving me the whole idea in the first place when I was brainstorming over the title.

“Where in the hell are you puttin’ it all?” Jack asked as he watched Angus grab a fifth biscuit from the quickly dwindling pile. Jack poked at Angus’ stomach.

“Hey!” Angus protested through a mouthful. He swallowed before he continued. “I can’t help myself. It’s really good.”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Jack joked. But he would be the first to admit that Mama would be proud. He’d had to make do with what he could find and hadn’t been able to get any okra, but all in all he’d done it right.

“Where’d you learn to cook like this anyway?” Angus asked, turning away from his plate, still nibbling at the biscuit but finally slowing down.

“Underfoot in the kitchen at the ranch,” Jack mused. “There was always somebody cookin’ somethin’. Mostly Mama, but my grandma, aunts… I learned all the tricks.”

“Seriously,” Angus said, abandoning the rest of the biscuit on his plate, “I still can’t believe you actually grew up on a ranch.”

“It’s true,” Jack said, reaching over and grabbing the abandoned piece of buttery bread and stuffing it into his mouth. “Family ranch. Been around for generations. I am a genuine cowboy.”

“So what was that like?” Angus asked, tangling his hands together between his thighs and sitting back to listen.

“What was what like?” Jack asked absently, still chewing.

“The ranch. What’s it like?” Angus asked.

Jack let his eyes drift closed. The smell of his mother’s cooking all around him, the taste of her biscuits on his tongue, made it easy to bring up a picture of the ranch in his mind.

“Well to begin with it’s twenty acres of the most beautiful green grazing land you ever saw in your life,” Jack began to narrate, “just green grass and horses and little rolling hills. There’s the big oak tree out front, fell outta that when I was a kid and broke my pinky. And the little farm house… gotta say I’m not sure how we ever all fit inside it. I always remember how hot it was in the summer. There was nowhere to escape from that damn heat. And the way the cicadas would sing…” Jack sighed and started to think, not just about the land, but the people that he’d shared it with. “Me and pops replaced our wire fence one summer with a pipe one. It was damn hot, and we had to wear these heavy welding leathers to boot. I almost melted that year. And me and Uncle Jake used to ride around the back ten in the tractor causin’ mischief.”

A tiny noise came out of Angus, and brought Jack out of his reverie. He opened his eyes to see the genius smiling back at him, his eyes full of kindness and warmth.

“What?” Jack asked.

“Nothin,” Angus replied. “You just… the way you talk about it. It sounds… perfect.”

“Well, I don’t know about perfect…” Jack trailed off. Who was he kidding? He’d never trade the ranch for anything.

“Maybe… I could see it someday?” Angus said, like it was a question, like he was asking permission more than making a suggestion.

Jack’s brain melted. What did that mean? Were they going to keep in touch? Meet up sometimes? Did Angus want something more, the way that Jack wanted something more? Something permanent? Was that really what Jack wanted? Sure, the past week had been the time of his life, but it had only been a week. What could you really learn about someone in a week? And Jack’s job didn’t really lend to good long term relationships. With no answer to the million questions running through his head, Jack opted for a shocked, vague, and fairly honest answer.

“I ain’t stoppin’ you,” Jack grinned.

Angus smiled in return and reached for another biscuit.

“No, no, no,” Jack said, swatting his hand away. “You are not eating a whole plate of biscuits tonight.”

Angus narrowed his eyes, but kept his grin in place, and reached out toward the plate again.

“You eat them all tonight and we won’t have any for breakfast,” Jack countered, grabbing Angus’ wrist. He hesitated for a moment as his brain adjusted and made sure to use less pressure than required to break or sprain.

Angus got up from the stool, and pushed hard against Jack’s grip, that unexpected strength surging. But Jack had the experience and the muscle to push back and easily held Angus in place.

“Are you seriously going to fight me over a biscuit right now?” Angus asked, starting to really struggle against Jack’s grip, but laughing at the same time.

“I dunno,” Jack said, “you gonna keep fighting me?”

“Damn right,” Angus said, pushing forward and putting all of his weight behind it.

Jack held him off easily, until the skinny genius did something he hadn’t expected and reached out with his other hand to snatch a biscuit instead. He had his hand halfway to his mouth when Jack grabbed the other wrist and prevented Angus from stuffing it in his face.

They struggled like that, Angus pulled the little buttery roll toward his mouth while Jack pulled it away.

The biscuit was starting to crumble in Angus’ grip, but Jack didn’t care, it was the principle of the thing, and he planned to win the fight.

Angus grinned and changed his plan, straining his sinewy neck toward the biscuit instead, trying to meet his hand halfway. But Jack managed to pull Angus’ freakishly strong forearms back just far enough that the biscuit was still out of reach.

They were twisting and turning in the middle of the room, a couple idiots fighting over a piece of food. But Jack was having a blast, laughing and struggling in equal measure. The grin hadn’t left Angus’ face, but his eyes were deep in thought like he was trying to calculate a way to win.

“Come on,” Angus grunted with the strain, “just let me have it. It’s gonna be ruined soon anyway.” He wasn’t wrong, they were dropping crumbs with every step and push, the poor little roll flaking apart.

Jack smiled wide and changed tactics, pulling Angus’ hand toward him and taking a big bite of the delicious buttery floury biscuit.

Angus frowned. “That’s not fair! I can’t have it, but you can?”

“Looks that way,” Jack taunted, taking another bite, while avoiding Mac’s fingers. “Unless you’re gonna do something about it.”

Each time Jack leaned in for a bite he knew he was letting his guard down a little, but it was just some fun horseplay, so he wasn’t that worried about the tactics. When he leaned in for his third bite Angus jumped at the opportunity, feeling the weakness in his opponent and charging forward to slam Jack up against the nearest wall. The hanging pictures near them rattled, but didn’t fall. Angus’ breath puffed into Jack’s face, spilling perfect shallow little laughs. At the surprise of the attack, Jack had let go, and Angus’ forearm pinned Jack across the chest, while his other brought what was left of the biscuit to his mouth.

And then the laughter caught on somewhere deep inside Jack and he started giggling uncontrollably. Angus’ own giggling intensified and they found themselves leaning on the wall and each other for support while they laughed themselves out.

Jack was still pinned when Angus leaned back and met his gaze. Jack wasn’t sure what to expect from those blue eyes full of something: excitement, joy, passion, anxiousness… Jack just couldn’t be sure.

Angus leaned forward, watching Jack’s lips, and teased at them with his own; tiny little kisses that Jack caught just as Angus was pulling back from each one. And each time he pulled away their eyes met again. And each time their eyes met the fire growing in that sparkling blue was stronger and more intense.

Jack’s body screamed at him to take charge, to push away from the wall and grab Angus hard, pulling their bodies together. Instead Jack let Angus keep him pressed there with a forearm and nothing else, and damn if that didn’t do something exciting for him.

He reached out and grabbed at Angus’ shirt, trying to pull him in with the soft fabric. Angus took that needy hand of Jack’s in his own, interlocking their fingers, and pressed their hands against the wall. He took his forearm away, found Jack’s other hand, and did the same.

Jack was prone, held against the wall by his hands. But that didn’t matter one bit. Because he had complete trust in the person holding him there. Angus waited, watching Jack’s eyes, like he was expecting a fight. When none came, he grinned and leaned in to kiss Jack. It started soft and got passionate real quick. Tongues and lips sloppily spreading spit everywhere through panted breaths, and still Angus kept his body back from Jack’s. Their hands and forearms pressing against each other, their lips fighting, but no more contact than that.

Angus’ lips travelled without warning to Jack’s ear, and suddenly there was glorious friction bringing them together from head to toe. Jack’s body bucked against that feeling without the permission of his brain.

“Jack,” Angus groaned. “I want to take you to bed.”

The noise Jack made in response was indecent, and his body thrust forward again, seeking that wonderful pressure.

“Is that a yes?” Angus asked against Jack’s ear, and there was a grin in his voice.

“Angus, man, you can take me anywhere you damn well please,” Jack replied, turning his head toward Angus and seeking the mouth that he couldn’t pull to him because his hands were occupied.

Angus didn’t oblige the kiss and instead pulled back from the wall, taking Jack with him because of their linked hands. He pulled Jack up the stairs like that, Angus walking backward, refusing to part their palms.

Jack was impressed as all get out that they made it up the stairs without falling.

In the loft, Jack pulled their joined hands to his mouth and kissed and kissed them. If only Angus knew what those hands of Jack's were capable of. The things he’d done, the things he could do with them. The terrible skillset that his career had given him, had made instinct.

Angus’ hands, though, were beautiful and Jack wanted to hold them forever. He kissed the fingertips and nosed at the knuckles and felt the grip tighten and loosen with each sensation.

Finally he let their hands hang down between them, and Angus just stared at him, like there was nothing else worth looking at in the whole world.

“I got bad news for you hoss,” Jack said, leaning forward and planting a chaste kiss on Angus’ cheek, and another on the side of his neck, and another on his birthmark.

“What’s that?” Angus asked.

“At some point, we’re gonna have to let go if you’ve got any other designs on me tonight,” Jack said, leaning back and bringing their joined hands up between them, pulling them in to his chest.

Angus nodded, and looked a little sad as he opened his fingers in Jack’s grip. Before Jack let those hands go away, he took each one and kissed a line down each open palm to the wrist. He left his lips resting at the pulse point of the second hand, closed his eyes and breathed deep.

Angus pulled away, hands taken from Jack’s grip. Jack kept his eyes closed, listening to the rustle of fabric. Without opening his eyes he got rid of his own clothes. When he finally looked again, a naked Angus was walking toward the dresser and not the bed.

And then the crinkling of the white plastic shopping bag jolted Jack back to his trip into town, and some of the supplies he’d picked up while he was there.

“I didn’t want to… I mean… it’s not…” Jack’s voice was suddenly higher in pitch, nervous and tight. How had he forgotten about that stuff? He hadn’t wanted it to be like this, it should have been a conversation. “I wasn’t assuming… it’s…”

Angus took the bag to the bed and emptied the contents on the bedside table: a box of condoms and small clear bottle of lube.

“Come here Jack,” Angus said casually, as though the world wasn’t turning around and around like they were on a rollercoaster.

Jack’s stomach felt like acid and he thought he might throw up. He didn’t move an inch.

“Jack?” Angus asked, and instead of waiting he walked to Jack. He slipped his hands up around Jack’s neck, pressing comfortingly at the back, and bringing their foreheads together.

Jack swallowed hard. “I know we didn’t really talk about it,” he spilled out. “I was there and they had some so I… but you gotta know I didn’t assume anything. We don’t have to…”

“But we really should,” Angus said with a huff of laughter.

“I just…” Jack tried not to let regret or fear slip into his voice, but it was there. “We… you should be sure… it’s what you want.”

“Jack,” the absolutely overwhelming excitement in Angus’ voice was infectious and shot through Jack’s body like boiling water in his veins, “you have no idea.”

Jack kissed him hard, sucking at Angus’ lips, his hands roaming that perfect body. When he moved to start kissing at collarbone and chest, Angus’ lust-heavy voice cut through Jack’s thoughts.

“As long… as you want… it too,” Angus breathed out, still holding at the back of Jack’s neck and using that grip to pull him closer.

“Oh god, you have no idea,” Jack growled, and everything surged in him at once: passion, excitement, affection, need, want. All of these things sent his body into overdrive and he grabbed hard with strong hands at the back of Angus’ thighs, picking him up off the floor.

Angus let out a whoop of surprise, keeping his grip on Jack’s neck and groaning pleasantly when their bodies came together, Angus’ legs wrapping tight around Jack as he carried them to the bed in two strides.

They tumbled together into the blankets, limbs wrapped this way and that, groaning and heaving against each other. Looking for that friction to rub just the right way to cause sparks.

“Jack,” Angus groaned against Jack’s shoulder.

The animal nature inside Jack took over, and instead of his name he heard: more, now, faster, better. And Jack complied, putting his mouth to skin wherever it happened to fall, and putting a hand between them to grab Angus tightly and make him feel so good. Tight grip. Quick strokes.

“Jack, wait!” Angus gasped, moaning pleasantly. “Wait, Jack, wait!” 

The urgency in the second plea knocked Jack out of whatever trance he’d been locked in and he jerked to a stop, sitting up to meet Angus’ eyes. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean…”

Angus just smiled at him. “It feels too good,” he replied in one large breath, as he took Jack’s hand in his own and pulled it away from his body. “Can we…” his words trailed off as his eyes darted to the night stand.

Jack’s eyes rolled up in his head at just the thought, and he leaned down and kissed Angus, softer this time. “Yes,” he whispered against lips as he pulled back. “Please, yes.”

Jack sat back and watched Angus grab what they needed; opening packages and pulling off cap seals. Jack didn’t help, just watched. He knew exactly what he wanted, but he needed to be sure that Angus wanted the same. If Jack saw any second of hesitation in any movement, he’d throw in the towel and call it. No way was he going to be part of this if they weren’t both in it one hundred percent.

But each movement that Angus made was steady and calm, his eyes constantly finding Jack’s and there was no drawing back there, only pushing forward.

Angus crawled toward Jack before he turned onto his back and settled there, Jack between his legs. Then he sat up, and clicked open the cap on the bottle. He poured out a generous amount of the liquid onto his own fingers, and then took Jack’s shaking hand in his own steady one. Using those gentle, but firm fingertips, he warmed the lube down over Jack’s fingers. Once that was done, he slid his own hand down between his legs and spread the rest there before he lay back down and waited for Jack.

The hesitation or fear or even mere second of uncertainty had never come.

Once Jack’s fingers were slick, he slid his hand between Angus’ thighs. Jack hesitated before he reached his aim, looking up to see Angus’ eyes, eager and wide with trust.

Guilt overtook him in waves and he sat back on his heels. This trustful body underneath him had no idea what he was capable of. No idea what terrible things his fingers and hands had done to people. Jack looked down at those hands and felt sick.

Angus sat up toward him, and put a hand to Jack’s neck. Those cool, nimble, scientist’s fingers a ground for him; bringing Jack back from those terrible memories and places that reminded him just how dangerous he was.

Jack looked up from his hands and met those impossible blue eyes that reminded him of the sky outside that day, hanging above them and filled with warmth and sun. A perfect day. A day made for happiness, even joy.

Angus took Jack’s wrist, the wrist of the hand with the prepped fingers, and drew it down toward his body.

“Please Jack,” Angus’ voice shook with excitement, and though it started firm, it faded to a whisper. “You can do whatever you want with me… to me.” 

The absolute trust in those words made Jack want to vomit. He ripped his hand away from Angus, ignoring the hurt in those blue eyes as he wiped his fingers on the sheet, jumped up, grabbed his boxers and a t-shirt and dashed down the stairs almost breaking the door in his hurry to get outside.

 

 

Angus heard the door crash closed downstairs and wasn’t sure what to think. Stunned, naked, and now alone, he sat in the bed he’d come to think of as their bed and he waited. It smelled like Jack’s Ivory soap, and his sweat. He’d seen some kind of fear in Jack’s eyes, and Angus stayed there, hoping that Jack would take a breath outside and come back. Instead the sun continued to go down, the day heading toward sunset.

Angus finally climbed off the bed, and grabbed some clothes from the floor. Pulling on some boxers and one of Jack’s t-shirts he let himself put the shirt up to his face for a moment and inhale deeply. He was worried he’d have to memorize that smell if he wanted to keep it forever. Knowing that soon, if not that very night, Jack was going to walk out of his life and never come back. He’d known all week it was going to happen, and had been hanging on tightly to the illusion that they could live in the cabin forever and never have to leave.

He walked down the stairs slowly, trying not to trudge, or hang his shoulders.

Angus walked outside. The deck was empty. He looked down toward the water and saw a single chair sitting near the end of the dock, Jack slumped over in it.

The walk down to the dock was terrifying. One of the most frightening things Angus had ever done in his life. Worse than the day he’d almost signed up for the army. Worse than the day he’d actually presented his PHD thesis. He’d opened himself up to Jack, emotionally and physically, and Jack had run away. What did that mean?

And there was Jack, leaned forward on his knees, his body limp, he looked almost broken. In that moment Angus knew that Jack felt the same. The same fear, the same longing. But there was something else in it that Angus couldn’t figure out.

When Jack wouldn’t look up at him, Angus crouched down in front of him so he could see into Jack’s deep brown eyes. Those eyes were dark and almost deadly. Something frightening was going on inside Jack’s head.

Before Angus could say a word Jack spoke, looking at the dock between his feet and not meeting Angus’ eyes. “You shouldn’t ever give someone that kind of power over you,” he said, running his hands back through his hair.

“What-”

“You said…” Jack’s voice broke for a moment before it went hard again. “I could do whatever I wanted. But you shouldn’t ever let someone…” His jaw clenched at whatever was going through his head. His eyes were misty, but still dangerous. And then he buried his face in his hands.

“You’d never hurt me Jack-”

“You don’t know that!” Jack snapped. “You don’t know me.”

No matter that the bite in those words hurt, Angus pulled Jack’s hands away so he could look him in the eye. “You’d never hurt me Jack,” he said with absolute conviction. “I know that. I trust you.”

Jack’s face broke, crumpling into a sad smile. “I have something… I need to tell you,” he said with a huge sigh of breath. “But I’m gonna need a beer, I think.”

Angus went back to the cabin and got two beers from the fridge before bringing a second chair down to the dock to sit next to Jack.

Jack held the cold, sweating bottle, tightly in his hands until his knuckles went white and stayed that way. His jaw was clenched and he swayed a little back and forth, eyes nervously darting from the beautiful scenery, back to Angus. He lifted the bottle once and drank almost half of it in one go.

Angus sat quietly, leaned back in his chair casually as he could, not prompting Jack, or trying to force anything. The whole incident smelled of PTSD, and Angus guessed there was some kind of a war story coming. Something that had left Jack ridden with guilt that he had pushed and hidden down inside. If he wanted to talk, Angus would be there to listen. He would have been lying to himself if he’d said he wasn’t a little frightened about whatever it was, that it upset Jack so much. But he was reserving his judgement.

“Remember how I told you I was trekking around the desert with the bomb nerds when I was in the army?” Jack asked.

Angus nodded, but didn’t speak.

“Well, that wasn’t the whole story,” Jack admitted. “Before that I was special forces.”

The stories spilled and spilled from Jack, and Angus didn’t say a word, didn’t react, didn’t sip at his beer, just listened. Jack had been special forces, been a sniper, led teams of Delta Force, travelled all over the world on missions that usually involved dealing death to bad people. In the end he’d come home and hadn’t been able to leave any of it behind, not just because he’d been so immersed in it for so long, but because he was too good at it, and the government just wouldn’t let him go. So Jack wasn’t really a bathroom tile salesman, he’d been recruited by the CIA for covert missions, and spent his time on the clock travelling around the world and doing what he did best. Which, judging from the way Jack told the story, he thought was killing people. And the fear and shame when he said it washed over Angus like a tidal wave. Jack thought Angus would be afraid of him after hearing all of that. After finding out exactly what Jack Dalton was capable of. 

Angus refused to be afraid of the man who taught him how to waltz and made his Mama’s fried chicken to impress him, and read cheesy spy thrillers, and could kiss so soft it tickled. Angus knew that Jack wasn’t the monster he thought he was.

“You have…” Jack choked up and stared down at his open palms, once he was finished giving his history. “You have no idea what these hands have done. The terrible things…”

Angus knelt down in front of Jack. Close, between his knees, and took Jack’s hands in his own. Jack tried to pull them back, like he was afraid of what they’d do of their own volition. But Angus had a strong grip and held on tight.

Jack finally looked at him. Angus didn’t say a word, but kept their eyes locked and softly kissed the pad of each and every callused finger. Angus wasn’t afraid of Jack; he knew he never could be, not even after the stories he’d just listened to.

With every touch of Angus’ lips, more tears gathered in Jack’s eyes until they spilled over. Once Angus finished his kisses, he lifted Jack’s hands to his face and buried his cheeks in the wonderful feel of that touch. He pushed Jack’s hands back until they were tangled in his hair, one of Jack’s infatuations that Angus had caught onto early.

Jack sobbed and pulled Angus close, pressing their foreheads together before he kissed Angus soft and hard all at the same time, salty with tears.

 

 

Angus let Jack hold him and kiss him as long as he wanted. But eventually Jack realized that kneeling on the dock must be killing the guy’s knees, and he sat back in his chair, slipping his fingers out of Angus’ hair.

When Angus didn’t immediately get up, but sat there between Jack’s thighs, those beautiful hands on Jack’s knees, he leaned forward again and kissed Angus with everything in him, unable to resist.

“What say we go back inside,” Jack said softly against Angus’ lips when they parted. There was no implication, no innuendo, but with day moving toward night and both of them in their underwear they’d get cold as soon as the sun finished setting.

Angus smiled, but there was something sad in it. He stood up and went back to his own chair. “Let’s stay out here for a little bit longer,” he suggested, sitting down.

“Alright,” Jack said, trying to relax, and grabbing the beer he’d drank half of and then set to the side.

“I have a confession,” Angus said softly.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Jack asked, sipping his beer and letting his emotions settle back in place.

“I’ve been keeping a secret too,” Angus said. There was no accusation there about Jack’s confessions.

“Really?” Jack said, intrigued. What exactly could the science geek have to confess?

“It’s not really on the same level as your… well… anyway… I’m not really here working on my PHD thesis,” Angus replied. He didn’t meet Jack’s eye. He was ashamed. “I already have my PHD.”

Jack’s eyebrows raised a little. “Ok,” he drew the word out long. “So why the lie?” Again, no accusation, just curiosity.

Angus sighed and sipped at his beer, his demeanour relaxed, but his voice tense. “I’m not really supposed to talk about what I do,” he admitted. “In addition to my PHD in Astronomy, I’m also an Aeronautical Engineer.”

“Holy crap dude!” Jack exclaimed with a smile, sitting forward, elbows on knees. “Are you a vampire or somethin’? How in the hell did you do all that already?”

Angus smiled and blushed red. “When you start MIT at 17, anything’s possible.”

“So, why did you lie? I still don’t get it,” Jack said.

“Well, when you asked what I did for a living, and why I came out here, I sorta panicked,” he said. “See, I’m working on a classified project for NASA. And I can’t really talk about it.”

“Seriously man?” Jack got really excited. “Like Area 51 type stuff? Playing around with alien technology?”

Angus smiled at him. “As far as I know none of that stuff’s real,” he said, “but NASA isn’t in on all the government’s secrets.” There was no condescension in his voice, just honesty. “I don’t work at Area 51 or anywhere shady like that. My project is based out of the Ames Research Centre near San Jose. It’s a legitimate Research Centre. Without getting too much into it they do a lot of wind tunnel research on aircraft of all kinds.” He said the last bit ominously.

Jack sat back in his chair, and raised his eyebrows. “I see,” he said, shooting Angus a wink. “You being an Aero-watchmacallit engineer, and working on a top secret project somewhere they have a wind tunnel. You’re totally building some kinda new fangled spaceship.”

Angus laughed. “I wish it was actually that cool,” he said. “Maybe someday.” He looked up at the darkening sky, and this time it seemed to Jack that instead of just wanting to look at it, he was wondering about more than just the stars.

“Ok genius,” Jack said to break the silence. “So, if you didn’t come all the way out here to work on your PHD stuff, then why are you here? You can’t tell me that coming out here with a telescope is better than watching the stars from a NASA research station.”

“Mid-life crisis I guess.”

Jack scoffed at that, but didn’t say a word. Mid-life crisis. The guy was barely thirty, if he was a day.

Angus smiled at Jack’s noise before he continued. “The project I’m heading up is based on the principles of my PHD. One of the scientists working under me has challenged my thesis. If he’s right, it will cancel the whole project and basically destroy my life’s work.” He sighed heavily and sipped more beer.

“Is he right?” Jack asked, simply.

“No,” Angus said, but his tone said it was more complicated than that.

“Ok, cool, prove him wrong,” Jack said.

“It’s not that…” there was anger there, bubbling to the surface. “This guy is… he’s really good at twisting words around to suit his purposes. Good at making people listen.” He let the anger go and looked back up at the sky. “I thought maybe if I came out here I could clear my head. Get myself back on track.”

“And…” Jack asked, trying not to grin too hard as he took a sip of his beer, but failing miserably, spilling from the corners of his mouth. “Did you clear your head?” He asked as he wiped the beer from his shirt.

“I feel like it went too fast,” Angus said, suddenly sad. “And now…” he glanced at Jack for a moment before he looked out at the lake.

“And now… what hoss?” Jack asked, genuinely curious.

“Tomorrow morning I’ve gotta head back, and I just…” He trailed off.

Jack felt suddenly very sober. Was the next day Friday already? Had he gotten so lost in Angus and the beautiful isolation that he’d let it fly by so quickly?

“Wish you had more time?” Jack finished for him.

“Yeah,” Angus said hollowly, the glug of his bottle, and the lapping of the lake water the only sound around them.

Jack finished his beer and set it on the deck, the glass against the boards such an empty sound.

“Hey Jack?” Angus ventured into the silence.

Jack looked over, and his heart stopped in the most wonderful and tragic way. Looking back at him was this beautiful man, and they only had hours left before they had to go their separate ways. The brightest blue eyes he’d ever seen, and that golden mess of hair that was always all over the place and somehow perfect at the same time. Breathtaking. It was a dramatic word but man did it fit.

“Yeah Angus?” Jack asked, trying his best to put on a smile that didn’t give away the sorrow that he felt under the surface.

“Let’s go inside,” he said.

Jack pointed up at the sky that was getting darker by the second. “No star watching tonight?” He asked.

“I think I’ve wasted enough time looking at the stars for this trip,” he said, keeping his eyes trained on Jack.

“Alright man,” he said. “Let’s go inside.”

They made their way to the cabin, Jack carrying their bottles, and Angus dragging the chairs back to the deck. They closed the darkening night outside, and turned the lights on. It seemed strange, on such a clear night, to be lighting the place up. But Jack couldn’t have agreed more. The stars were great and all, and he loved hearing Angus talk all his science talk, but given the choice between looking at the universe and looking at his genius, he’d choose the genius every time.

Angus moved to the record player and put on the album from their rainy day. The old fashioned music that was all nostalgia for Jack. The music crackled out into the room, but Angus just stayed there, staring down at the record and watching it turn.

Jack walked up behind him, slipped his arms around Angus’ waist and put his head on that wiry shoulder.

“Is your dance card full?” Jack asked, putting on his most charming, and heavily exaggerated, Texan accent.

Angus didn’t answer with words, but shook his head, his cheek brushing Jack’s. Angus still didn’t move.

Jack gripped hips tightly and pulled Angus backward. When they were in the middle of the room, Jack stepped in a circle around him, hands sliding around his middle until they were face to face. Emotions were heavy in Angus’ eyes. That was the last thing Jack wanted, for their last night to be sad.

“Come here,” Jack beckoned, taking Angus’ right hand in his left and sliding his hand around that skinny waist, taking the lead. Instead of keeping the proper distance though, he pulled Angus close so their bodies were flush, their cheeks next to each other.

They danced, off from the music a little, but that didn’t matter, they were dancing to their own rhythm. The rhythm they’d built together after only a week, that kept them moving together easily. Angus was tense, Jack could feel the muscles under his hand: tight and not ready to release. Jack rubbed his hand comfortingly against those hard places full of anxiety, but they just wouldn’t give.

It should have seemed ridiculous and funny; two grown men dancing around to some old timey music in nothing more than boxers and t-shirts. But it wasn’t one bit funny. It felt heavy, like they were dancing through water, each movement a slow straining effort.

The music ended too quickly, and they stopped in the middle of the room, holding each other while the rest of the vinyl played out. When it reached the end of the side the crackling gave way to a tearing, grinding sound as the needle came up against the label at the centre of the record. With each rotation that sound ripped at the moment they had built between them. It was the end of something, and it announced itself brutally in the warm light of the cabin; scratching and rending at that soft moment between them, though neither of them moved to stop it.

Another rotation, and another, and Angus’ frame tensed more underneath Jack’s hands until he wondered if the man was crying in his arms from the way he was starting to shake.

Jack stepped back from that spell, hoping that in stepping away during that awful moment he hadn’t ruined any of the good parts of it. He rushed to the record player and shut it down.

And then Angus was behind him, hands up the back of Jack’s t-shirt.

“Come on,” Angus said softly against Jack’s neck as his hands continued to wander. “Let’s go to bed.”

Jack swallowed heavy. Here they stood again at the edge of something. But was their last night together the right night? He hadn’t considered that when he’d wanted it the first time.

“Please Jack,” Angus said. His voice was so raw with everything. All laid bare for Jack to hear: passion, sadness, a little fear, want. There were other things Jack thought he heard there, but he told himself he was just being a romantic, just being hopeful and dramatic.

Jack turned around in that embrace and immediately kissed Angus hard, fisting that blond hair and trying not to grab on for dear life like he could stop time.

They stumbled up the stairs, shirts thrown over the railing on the way. Jack almost tripped and fell down the whole damn set of stairs when Angus got a little too excited and slipped Jack’s boxers off before they’d gotten to the top. Jack tripped over his underwear and onto the floor of the bedroom loft, laughing as he fell out of Angus’ grip and up the last few stairs.

Angus laughed along with him, and just like that, the rift the record player had put between them was gone. Angus knelt down next to Jack, still shaking with laughter.

“Are you alright?” He asked, honest and full of concern despite his happy convulsions.

“I’m just fine,” Jack said, attempting to stand up, but his feet were still tangled in his boxers. “I’ll be just fine as soon as I can get these damn things…” He grunted with the effort of ripping the boxers from his ankle and throwing them over the loft railing.

Angus just collapsed next to him on the floor, uncontrolled laughter still rolling out of him.

Jack just watched, fascinated with the sight; Angus’ chest shaking, muscles tensing and relaxing, the way he wrapped his long sinewy arms around his middle like he was in pain.

“What?” Angus asked as he stopped spilling out joy and stuck to just smiling instead.

“Oh nothin’,” Jack said casually. “I just noticed that you are still wearin’ way more clothes than me.”

“Way more?” Angus scoffed. “I’m wearing a pair of boxers.”

“Well, compared to buck naked, I’d say that’s a fair amount’a clothes.”

Angus grinned and stood up, sliding his underwear to the floor and walking toward the bed with an easy gait as though he wasn’t the most beautiful person Jack had ever seen. As though every step that tensed every beautiful muscle and twisted his waist in that wonderful way wasn’t the most enthralling thing anyone had ever done.

PHD, Engineer, top-secret NASA scientist. None of these seemed like anything special to Jack when compared to Angus MacGyver just existing at all.

Angus flopped onto the bed and disappeared in the puff of duvet and pillows that rose up around his body.

Jack stood up and followed. Angus watched him from the bed, his eyes full of lust and want and, Jack dared hope, a little affection.

Jack crawled into the bed next to the genius and lay down beside him, fingers playing at stomach and bellybutton. He didn’t want to set an expectation based on what they’d started earlier in the night. He wanted to start over in case his secrets had changed anything. Because they always did.

Angus pushed Jack onto his back with that hidden strength Jack hadn’t expected, and crawled on top of him, knees on either side of Jack’s hips. But instead of rolling their bodies together in just the right way, or starting things fast, Angus reached down and took Jack’s hands in his own. He drew his mouth down to meet those hands, and kissed them tenderly, each finger, before his lips brushed each palm so lightly it tickled; just the way he’d kissed Jack’s hands on the dock: reverently and with care. As though Jack’s hands, despite the things they’d done, were beautiful and precious.

Jack rolled up to sit, his chest pressing against Angus’ stomach, one arm wrapped tightly around the genius’ waist. With his other hand, he took Angus’ hands and returned the favour: kissing each and every finger, licking at the knuckles that he loved to watch when those hands were adjusting the dials on the telescope, or delicately putting the needle down on the record player. The hands of a creator, a thinker, someone who could take something ordinary and make it extraordinary with just a touch of a slender hand. Jack nuzzled into the palm, until he was kissing at wrist. Jack wasn’t so naive to think he was ordinary, but Angus’ touch had changed him nonetheless.

They sat like that for so long, wrapped up in each other but still and quiet. Planting little kisses where they could reach and holding each other, interlocking their fingers and toying with their hands. Until finally Jack’s muscles just couldn’t hold him there anymore and he collapsed back onto the bed. Angus rolled off, and the lack of warmth felt like a punch, Jack’s skin craving more.

Angus turned toward the bedside table and then back again, holding a small bottle in his hand.

Jack immediately went taut.

Angus took Jack’s hands in his own and carefully poured some of the water-based liquid over Jack’s fingers. Then he sat back in the bed, took Jack’s wrist and pulled it toward his body the same way he had the first time. But this time, his words were different. “I trust you Jack,” he said softly.

With his clean hand, Jack put his hand into Angus' hair and gently pulled him into a hard kiss before crawling down to settle between Angus’ knees. He untangled his hand from those golden strands and slid it down to that pale beautiful chest, pushing Angus back softly into the pillows.

Jack was gentle, and careful and moved so slowly. And that was saying a lot, since when he pushed his first finger inside and every muscle in Angus’ body tensed up Jack flipped into overdrive. His breath came in short gasps and his muscles shook with want and need and faster and now. But he took deeper breaths and slowed the blood in his veins. This was about both of them, he wouldn’t let himself just take. He wanted to give.

Jack placed a hand, that he hoped was comforting, on Angus’ stomach. “You ok, man?” He asked, fully prepared to stop now that he’d calmed himself. There was so much between them without it. Jack didn’t need the extra step. Want it? Yes, with every bit of his body and heart he wanted it. But it definitely wasn’t a deal breaker.

“Yup,” even Angus’ voice was tight. “I’m good.”

Jack didn’t move an inch. As a sniper, sitting perfectly still for long periods of time was his specialty. And he wasn’t rushing this, not without a convincing affirmative from all parties.

Angus looked down. “I swear Jack, I’m good.” The trust and pleasure in those eyes almost pushed him backward off the foot of the bed. Jack could see now: it wasn’t hurt, or nervousness, or pain, but excitement and want that had tightened Angus’ body and voice.

So Jack continued. But so gently.

So many things to see. So much to watch and only the ability to look at one thing a time. Those hands of his, the hands he knew could kill in an instant, that had done unspeakable things for his country, were applied soft and gentle; one lay firm and reassuring on Angus’ stomach, the anchor to the passion that was trying to carry both of them away. That hand rose and fell more and more quickly with Angus’ passionate gulps of air. His second hand sliding gently inside, coaxing sensation and slowly, so slowly, making space for Jack. Angus’ beautiful hands had strayed to the side of his body and were grabbing at the sheets on the bed like he was trying to keep himself from floating away. So much excitement and they’d barely gotten started.

Easy, soft presses inside, Jack felt for the place that would spark the fireworks to make Angus explode. What would that be like, if the simple act of searching for it was making him writhe and pant. As he slipped the first finger free, Angus’ hands scrabbled for Jack, trying to pull him back in again, and Jack couldn’t help but let out a desperate groan. Angus’ fingers dug into Jack’s forearm, the strong fingers of someone who tinkered and built. 

Jack held himself back as he pushed two fingers inside next, not wanting to be too eager; his own pleasure could wait for the rest of time if he needed it to. Now he wanted to make Angus feel something he’d never forget, something maybe he’d never felt before. Two fingers was just what Jack needed to find that spark. At the very first bend of his knuckles, Angus arched off the bed and made the most wonderful sound Jack had ever heard in his life: a desperate gasped sentence full of need and lust and Jack’s name and pleas for more.

Jack stopped for a moment, resting his face against Angus’ squirming hips, breathing in the smells around him: body and sweat and arousal. He almost lost control in that moment, but instead he simply didn’t, swallowing everything but the need to make Angus feel everything.

“Jack?” Angus’ gasped voice asked. No wariness, or fear, just concern. Concern for Jack. And want, there was want there too. But nothing at all that suggested slowing down or pushing away.

Jack looked up and met those blue eyes. God the very moment he’d seen those eyes for the first time, everything in Jack’s life had changed and turned upside down.

The moment their eyes locked, he felt Angus’ body relax. Jack’s fingers twitched inside, and Angus groaned, but didn’t close his eyes or look away.

Angus reached for Jack’s free hand, still resting on his stomach, pulling him up the bed.

Jack slipped his fingers free and obeyed, crawling up, his body brushing pleasantly, almost too pleasantly, as he went.

“Need a breather?” Jack asked with his most charming grin.

Angus smiled in return. “Nope,” he answered, and then his face sobered and he added: “Never.”

Angus wrapped his legs around Jack’s hips and pushed back against him in the same open invitation he’d offered days before, except now they were prepared with supplies.

Jack nuzzled into Angus’ neck and nibbled there a little, trying to distract himself. “I…” his brain was struggling. “There’s… I’ve gotta…” words slipped out between nips at perfect pale skin; neck, birthmark, earlobe. “How do you taste so damn good everywhere?” He groaned against Angus’ body, forgetting what he was about to say, about to do. Forgetting the importance of it in that moment where his body was being driven by impulses.

Angus laughed and put a hand to the back of Jack’s neck, grounding him and bringing him up from the lusty, needy haze he was in. Jack remembered what he had to do. Before he could say anything, or get up, Angus spoke. “I’ve got you covered,” he said, letting his legs unwrap from Jack and fall back to the bed.

Jack pushed up on his arms to see a little foil package between those nimble fingers. He sat back on his heels and reached for it, but Angus teased it away out of reach, ripping it open himself. He sat up and pulled Jack in for a brief kiss, before he slipped his fingers down.

The moment Angus’ fingers touched him, and slid the condom on, Jack’s hands closed tight around Angus’ shoulders and he thought he might explode. His eyes closed involuntarily. The pleasure rocketed up through his chest like a stampede, forcing all the breath from his chest.

“You ok man?” Angus asked in a mock-Texas accent that would have been insulting if it weren’t so damn cute. “You need a breather?”

“Words… not…” Jack couldn’t get much more out, but opened his eyes again to see that wide grin that instead of plumping cheeks and making dimples, somehow made Angus more masculine; sharpening the corners of his jaw and deepening the cleft in his chin.

 

 

Angus was all anticipation and want and eagerness. He’d spent all week wanting. 

Jack was so soft and tender and gentle. He covered Angus’ body with his own, setting soft kisses to lips, cheek, neck. He massaged his big hands down over muscles and limbs, making Angus pliant, making sure he was ready when they were both in a state where words couldn’t be relied on.

“Jack,” Angus put everything into that name; pleading, wanting, needing, lust, frustration, affection.

Jack didn’t need to be asked a second time. 

Looking deep into those brown eyes, Angus felt Jack push inside slowly. And it was a lot, but it wasn’t too much, it wasn’t like being split open or filled up, it was like being complete for the first time. It was perfect. It felt perfect.

“Sweet mercy,” Jack gasped out. Angus wanted to respond to those words, but his brain was shutting down, fogged up with sensation, and each time he thought his mouth might form words, Jack slid a little further and Angus forgot everything except the smell and touch and feel of Jack Dalton.

They put their lips together like they wanted to kiss. But neither of them was capable. Angus’ mouth hung open in an empty stuttered moan but he was unable to actually make the sound. Jack’s mouth moved in curses and mumbled words that made no sense, interspersed with Angus’ name, said like a prayer.

The first few thrusts were slow and meant to get them used to the feel of each other. But Angus felt like he’d known the feel of Jack his whole life. Wonderful and overwhelming the way the first time with someone should be, and yet it felt familiar and comfortable and right. Jack’s pace increased quickly, his body quaking around Angus with the tension of of a spring, coiled tight and holding back.

Each time Jack said Angus’ name: whispered, breathed, hollered, groaned, Angus’ body jolted in response, as though Jack was giving his body instruction that it was following without Angus’ say-so. He didn’t mind. Jack slid home, again and again and again, and that was it: home. It was pleasure, but it was so much more than that.

Jack shifted, getting somehow closer still and at the different angle he reached deeper into Angus, and the world exploded.

The words started to come from Angus’ mouth with no input from his brain, and he didn’t care. All he cared about was the way Jack made him feel in every way.

 

 

Jack knew he’d done something right, when the gasps and moans Angus had been making against Jack’s neck amplified and became sentence after sentence of the sexiest nonsense Jack had ever heard in his life.

“Jack… god… I never… can’t you… never… figuratively… that’s… perfect… right there… placement…” Random words punctuated every move Jack made.

They shouldn’t have, because they were just garbled words, but they drove Jack forward harder, made him want more. Arms wrapped around the writhing body under him, he still wanted to be closer.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Angus’ words synced with the movement of Jack’s hips. “Oh god Jack, don’t stop! Don’t ever stop doing that.”

Jack wanted to cry, because he never wanted to stop.

If he could have stayed in that moment forever, felt and heard and tasted that perfect body around him forever it wouldn’t have been enough time. Jack tucked his face into Angus’ neck and breathed in deep the wonderful smell there, licking at the sweat-slick skin and tasting salty perfect Angus. He softly bit at the flesh there, growling into the skin possessively. But the growl tapered off to a sob of pleasure, and maybe a tear or two did creep from his eyes, because he’d never felt anything so wonderful in his whole life.

Angus’ hands gripped Jack's back, rough, and pulled him in tighter.

“Jack! Jack?” He called out into the air.

“I’m right here Angus,” Jack pushed his hips in again and again, and tried to hold off his own climax. “What do you need? Tell me Angus, what do you need?” He gasped the words, tasting Angus’ skin with every inhale. “I’m hanging on here man, but I gotta tell you… I can’t hold off forever, so you gotta tell me what you need.”

Angus’ grip on Jack tightened almost painfully as he slipped a hand between them. Angus’ knuckles rubbed Jack’s stomach as he stroked in time with their movements.

Jack’s passion won out and he let himself go, his arms tensed with the strain of the suddenly intense pace that he set.

He gasped into Angus’ ear, messy words that he hoped were intelligible. “You gotta… tell me…” he grunted. “If it’s too… much… too fast… too…” He swallowed hard and the next words came out with all the fear and emotion in his body. “I won’t hurt you…”

Angus replied, his answer a loud half-moan. “You couldn’t…”

Words left Jack and he trusted to his body, the one that, at its core, cared for Angus, maybe even loved him, to take care of both of them.

 

 

Angus wasn’t sure he could bear it anymore. Wasn’t sure he could take the feeling and sensation surging through him and using his body up. It felt like they were living in a single moment that just wouldn’t end. Every single thing they’d shared became part of that moment: laughter and sorrow and joy and comfort and nostalgia and pleasure. It all swelled together into one feeling that carried Angus away with it.

Jack finally let himself go, the caution fleeing his movements.

And the bliss intensified until Angus was sure he couldn’t take anymore. He tried to gasp in air, but his lungs weren’t working.

The hand he’d wrapped around himself was stilled, pressed too tightly between them by their bodies.

And then Jack said his name and there were unspoken words riding behind it, bitten off. “Angus I…” Jack’s voice was rough and growled with passion. It was full of so many things.

And it broke Angus in the best possible way. The orgasm hit him like an electric shock. It coursed through his whole body and tensed every muscle, but there was no ground for the electricity to escape, and he wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t die from it. He pushed up off of the bed, straining against Jack’s hold, fumbling with sound and words and breathing. His hands grasped frantically at Jack, gripping bicep and ribcage and hip and hair.

Jack came immediately after, tucking his head into Angus’ neck and shuddering against him. His strong arms were closed like a vice, holding so tight. And the shaking lips against Angus’ skin let out what sounded almost like a sob.

When his breath returned, and Jack still hadn’t loosened his grip, or pulled away, Angus ran his fingers down Jack’s back in soft comforting lines.

“Jack?” He asked, his voice hoarse from the sounds he vaguely remembered making.

Jack made a sound that might have been: “Hmmm?”

“Are you ok?” Angus asked, running his fingers up into Jack’s sweat soaked hair.

 

 

Was he ok? Jack couldn’t remember having ever felt better in his whole life. His whole body ached and he knew that he’d be sore in the morning, but he didn’t care. The skin under him was soft and hot and wet with sweat. Angus had climaxed so hard Jack had almost blacked out at the sensation of that body, those muscles, tightening all around him. Words still weren’t coming though, so he made another sound against Angus’ skin that he hoped sounded affirmative, but he refused to let go.

Just a few more minutes. That’s all he wanted. A few more minutes of holding to that body, being inside and surrounding and surrounded. Jack needed to memorize how it felt so he could never forget.

“Jack?” Angus’ voice ventured again, so pure and trusting and wonderful, though his voice was a little strained. “I just need…” he grunted a little as he pushed at the dead weight of Jack on top of him. “Can you move a little?”

Jack wanted to say no, but he knew why Angus was asking. Breathing was probably difficult when there was a big old hefty Texan falling asleep on your chest.

Jack rolled to the side, slipping out, the loss of that contact almost painful, but pulling Angus with him, so they still lay close and tangled up, but side-by-side instead of one on top of the other. He leaned over and planted a kiss to Angus’ temple.

Angus turned in his grip and kissed Jack’s lips. And they lay like that, easily tasting each other, their passion flagged for the moment but the sentimentality and connection between them holding tight.

Jack took his lips away and gasped in breath, running his hand back into those golden locks that were soaked through with sweat. “Oh god Angus I just…” Jack trailed off, his head not quite back in the real world. He’d almost said something he couldn’t take back.

“You just what?” Angus asked, looking up at Jack and smiling. He brought a hand up to trace the lines around Jack’s mouth and eyes with his fingertips.

“You know what? I plum forgot whatever I was gonna say,” Jack copped out.

Angus’ face fell for a second, and Jack knew he could read the lie there, but he didn’t ask, just continued to softly caress Jack’s face.

Jack opted for a subject change. “This makes more sense now,” he said, trailing fingers along Angus’ biceps and wiry muscled forearms.

“What makes more sense?” Angus asked.

“You’re stronger than I’d expected for a nerd,” Jack said simply, pinching Angus’ muscle for emphasis. “When you told me you were a scientist, I thought may you sat at a desk or a computer or somethin’ all day. But you’re an engineer. I’d bet the bank that you’re way more involved than just typing numbers into some computer.”

Angus smiled and Jack knew he’d guessed correctly.

“I’m pretty hands on with the whole thing; building prototypes…” his eyes unfocused as he flopped onto his back and looked at the ceiling, probably thinking about his project. “And I’m always on site for assembly and testing.”

“Testing what?” Jack asked, pretend sly, as he continued to drag his fingers lightly across perfect pale skin.

Angus’ eyes focused again, and his grin grew so wide Jack thought it might spread right off his face. Angus rolled toward him. “Are you trying to get me to spill state secrets?” He asked.

“Not at all,” Jack said. “Just tryin’ to keep ya on your toes.” He wriggled forward on the bed and softly kissed Angus’ lips. He drew his hand lightly down arm and across hip.

 

 

Jack didn’t even remember falling asleep. When Angus shifted and Jack woke up, he found his lips pressed against Angus’ cheek, their bodies all wound together still. Like they’d been in the middle of making out and just fallen asleep that way. Jack smiled at the thought.

He was immediately awake. The kind of awake that he knew wouldn’t fade back to sleep, the alert kind of awake.

Instead of fighting it, Jack sat up, crawling out of Angus’ embrace and propped himself up against the headboard. The sun was starting to warm up the sky, getting ready to rise, and he decided to just sit there and be comfortable. The last few hours with Angus; quiet and serene.

Angus. Jack looked down at him blissfully asleep, head turned toward Jack on the pillow, breath sighing out of him so softly it barely made a noise.

After almost a week of sleeping next to him, Jack knew Angus slept like the dead, so he put an arm around those pale shoulders and tugged Angus toward him. He groaned a little in his sleep, but didn’t wake, as Jack slowly maneuvered him until Angus had an arm thrown over him and was using Jack’s stomach as a pillow.

The absolute trust in all of it blew Jack away. And Jack’d had guys put their very lives into his hands. But this… this was something else. If anyone so much as brushed against Jack when he was sleeping, he was alert and awake and ready to fight immediately. His job didn’t allow for any less. But Angus let Jack move and caress him without even waking, and it hurt Jack’s heart. So much trust meant that Angus had never had to worry about being hurt or ambushed in his sleep, and that made Jack happy. So happy. It also made Jack want to keep it that way. Angus would never know fear or threat as long as Jack was around to prevent it.

Although, Jack wouldn’t be around for much longer. It was the sunrise of their last day together. And not even a full day; Angus had said he was going to get on the road in the morning.

Jack wished he could push the sun back down below the horizon. Wished that he could take back the night before. Not all of it, just the sleeping part.

Jack wanted coffee, wanted to make a farewell breakfast, wanted that morning to draw out forever. Instead he stayed in bed and watched the sunrise while Angus slept on.

Eventually the genius groaned and yawned wide against Jack’s stomach, tickling him.

“Hey now,” Jack said as he squirmed. “Careful what you’re doin’ there.”

Angus made a contented sound against Jack, humming it deep into him so he could feel it in his bones. “I know exactly what I’m doing,” Angus said, eyes still closed against the light. “What time is it?”

“I have no earthly idea,” Jack said, sad that the subject had even been broached. He didn’t want to think about the time.

Angus sat up, yawned again, leaned over and kissed Jack sweetly before he got up and wandered down the stairs to the bathroom.

Jack pouted in bed for only a few minutes before he got up, dressed in some clean clothes, and headed down the stairs. They hadn’t cleaned up any of the food, but the biscuits were only a little stale, and Jack was determined to make a proper breakfast out of the leftovers.

Angus came downstairs, and Jack was afraid to look him in the eye. He had always been terrible at hiding his emotions, except when he was in the field, but at home they shone right through out of his eyes. And he didn’t want Angus to see what was there, that Jack wanted more, craved something more than this perfect week and then going separate ways. So he busied himself with the coffee maker.

He heard Angus take a stool. “So I was thinking…” the genius said, a sly, playful tone in his voice.

“Surprise, surprise,” Jack joked, hoping his desperation and fear didn’t come through at all. “Seems to me your brain’s always workin’.”

“Well, not always,” Angus said, heavy with implication. “Seriously though, I was thinking that maybe, if it’s ok with you if I ruin your entire vacation, that I might stay until tomorrow.”

Relief washed over Jack like cool rain, massaging away the stress he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying in his muscles.

“Thought you had to get back?” Jack asked, trying to sound casual as he overfilled the coffee filter.

“I think they can do without me for one more day,” Angus replied.

Jack finally turned around and found a grinning Angus leaning on the counter, a hopeful look in his eyes, eyebrows raised while he waited for an answer.

“Well you’re right you know,” Jack tried to play it up, but couldn’t keep the smile from his face, “you’ll be ruinin’ my entire week if you stay one more day.”

“Consider your vacation ruined man,” Angus replied.

 

 

After breakfast, and waiting the prescribed half an hour, Jack and Angus splashed back and forth in the cold water, just like they had on that first day. And somehow it made Jack feel like the whole week was still stretching in front of them. But this time, instead of just splashing, he opted for a different strategy.

Jack pushed through the water, the weight of it heavy against his intentions to move quickly, while he ducked his head against Angus’ onslaught. When Jack got close enough, he put his hands to Angus shoulders and wrapped his legs around the skinny genius. His original intent had been to put a heel to the back of each of Angus’ knees, making his legs buckle and sending him under the water. Old Delta trick he’d used more than a time or two above the water. But once he was wrapped around Angus, Jack didn’t want to make him trip, didn’t want to let go.

Angus stopped splashing, and instead wrapped his arms around Jack, holding them together. Jack slipped a little further down until they were eye to eye, his arms around Angus’ shoulders.

The light reflecting off the water and then into those blue eyes hypnotized Jack, and he didn’t even realize they were moving until Angus had him backed against the dock, pressed hard up against the sun-warm wood. Angus pressed against him, and kissed Jack hard, his lips cold and slippery-wet from the water fight.

Jack continued to hold on, not the one in control, but the one being kissed and held. This wasn’t the kind of thing he was used to; a give and take relationship where each of them had the power and strength to take the lead. Jack found himself more than a little excited by the whole thing, that loss of control something he’d never realized that he’d wanted. And when Angus’ hips pressed him hard against the dock, Jack let out a needy sound into Angus’ mouth, that he felt almost ashamed of. But it felt too good for shame.

Angus pulled back to breathe, but kept Jack pinned against the dock that was so weather beaten it felt like silk under his back and made him think of bedsheets.

Jack looked down into that face, and those eyes that were so bright he didn’t know how they could be real.

Despite the passion between them, Jack was feeling sentimental looking into those perfect baby blues, and words started coming out of him before he could let his brain decide if it was a good idea.

“You know, when I’m here with you it’s like nothin’ else exists in the whole world,” he said. “You make me forget everything else.”

Angus smiled and kissed him lightly, but when he opened his eyes again there was something there: excitement, and a little bit of understanding. “It’s funny cause with me it’s like, the opposite.”

“How do you mean?” Jack asked, Angus sliding distractingly against him in the best possible way.

“It’s like,” Angus looked right into Jack’s eyes, and then his gaze traveled down to lips, and down further to Jack’s neck. “It’s like everything comes into focus when I’m with you. The whole world becomes clearer.” His eyes travelled beyond Jack to the lake and the trees around them. “Every bird singing, the warmth of the sun, the sound of the water against the shore, even watching the stars.” And then his voice got soft, and he met Jack’s eyes again. “Every little pore of skin,” he ran a hand up into Jack’s mohawk, “each strand of hair,” his fingers traveled lightly down Jack’s face to trace the lines around his eyes and mouth, “the tiniest bead of sweat,” he licked at Jack’s bottom lip, “skin against skin.” Jack could taste Angus’ breath, and he shivered, but not from the cold water.

Jack wanted to take control back, pin Angus down and take everything that they both wanted. But he was stuck against the dock, with no leverage, and Angus’ still surprising strength holding him tight with no wiggle room. Those shoulders and arms that hadn’t looked so strong were tensed with the effort of gripping the dock, and the sight of those muscles almost sent Jack into a frenzy.

Angus kissed him again, and it was soft and caring instead of hard and passionate. But Jack relaxed into it, giving up that control the way he had a few times with Angus already. And just like each of those times it felt good. It felt good to trust someone so intimately, to let someone take care of him for once. So Jack stayed pinned, Angus slowly and gently moving against him, building a pressure between them that felt like it would never break. Skin sliding against wet skin under the surface of the lake, the fabric of their underwear trapped tightly between them, lips slowly taking kiss after kiss and opening and closing to each other. Such softness to it.

Jack could feel that it was a test. Now that Angus knew who he was, knew the power and skill that Jack possessed, Angus wanted to see if he would give up that power. If he could give it up. If they could share whatever was between them equally, or if Jack needed to be in charge.

But Jack didn’t need that, not when Angus was in his arms. He didn’t need any masculine dominance bullshit, he just needed to be touched and wanted and needed.

When their lips left each other, Jack took the opportunity to nose at Angus’ cheek and groan into his ear. It was a needy groan, but he tried to keep it from being demanding.

“You ok, Jack?” Angus gasped moving his hips against Jack again, almost unbearably slow. Jack could hear the smile in that voice even if he wasn’t looking at it. And it made him that much more confident that giving in and letting go was the right way, if it brought Angus any pleasure at all it was the right decision.

At the top of a thrust, things fit together particularly well and shot a bolt of pleasure through Jack that made him groan again instead of answering.

“What do you need Jack?” Angus asked, this time serious.

“You know what I need,” Jack answered, his words shaking and growling out of his mouth, still refusing to request anything, wanting Angus to have complete and absolute say over everything.

Angus upped the pace of his hips, the friction between them almost unbearable but never enough. Jack moaned and threw his head back, and when he did Angus licked a hot line up the cold skin of his neck.

And in that moment he understood what Angus meant. Because he felt every single little inch of skin that Angus touched with his tongue. The soft wood at his back, each droplet of the churning water around them that had warmed with their body heat, the shifting of muscles where Jack’s thighs pressed around Angus. Each and every sensation suddenly became too much, and Jack gripped onto those pale, strong shoulders and let himself go, coming and gasping and digging in his fingers as the world went topsy turvy.

 

 

Angus’ arms hurt from holding them to the dock. The strain of keeping those muscles taut for so long, of holding a struggling ex-Delta Force soldier steady. Fingers gripping the edge of a board, his grip was starting to falter just when Jack climaxed. Angus’ scrabbled at the wood, his hands slipping, his feet digging into the sandy bottom of the lake as he found the perfect amount of friction, heat, and Jack whispering his name to send him over the edge.

Once they’d both got their breath back, and they were thinking straight, Angus backed up, letting Jack free. Jack put his feet down and took a few shaky steps back into Angus’ arms. And they were kissing again. Desperate, as though Jack needed the contact, his hands around Angus’ middle, his touch gentle as it always was. Arms wrapped around Jack’s neck, Angus returned that desperation and they kissed like that until Angus started to shiver from the cold of the water that was seeping into his core.

Jack stopped kissing, but kept his lips against Angus’. “Let’s get you out of this water,” he said softly. “Warm you up a bit.”

“You think that would have done it,” Angus joked.

And they laughed together, and Angus marvelled at it. The fact that they were so comfortable that mere minutes after sharing such passion and intimacy they were joking and laughing together made Angus’ heart hurt. He wanted it all the time. Every day he wanted to wake up and hold Jack and laugh with him and make him moan and feel pleasure and sing classic rock in the kitchen while they made dinner. All of these wants felt like water draining through his fingers. Because soon, too soon, they had to leave. And Angus couldn’t have those things. They were from different places with obligations and even if Jack wanted it too, there was no way they could just walk away from everything else toward each other. All of those emotions threatened to show on his face, and instead of letting them surface, he buried himself in Jack and kissed him some more. Wet kisses, tongues tasting, hands gripping tight.

Jack pulled away again. “Seriously dude, you’re freezing,” he said. “Let’s hang out in the sun for a bit and warm up.”

Angus nodded and they swam back to the dock, washing thoroughly, before pulling themselves out of the water. The dock was almost hot to the touch and Angus laid down on it, trying to soak the heat up from the boards. Eyes to the sky, he closed them to the bright sun. He felt Jack lay down next to him, his body still cool from the water. Jack’s hand found his, and interlocked their fingers. Angus gripped him tight.

One last day. Angus swore to himself that he wouldn’t waste a minute.

The trees rustled all around them, the water lapped at the dock and the shore, the warm sun started to evaporate the lake water from his body, and Jack’s warm hand was clutched in his own. Angus sighed out his anxiousness, hoping that moment would last forever. Letting the perfect day around him ease him with its lullaby.

When Angus woke up, he startled awake, sitting bolt upright in a second. He opened his eyes against the midday sun, immediately regretted it, and closed them again.

“What in the hell?” Jack called out from beside him, forced to sit up too since he’d been sleeping on Angus’ shoulder.

Some instinct deep inside reached out for Jack, grabbing at his shoulders and pulling him close. Whether that instinct was to reassure or just to make sure Jack was still there, Angus wasn’t sure.

“You alright man?” Jack asked, his voice softer now that he was awake, his scruff rubbing on Angus shoulder as he set a soft kiss there.

Angus realized he hadn’t breathed since he woke, let the stale air out and took more in. “Yeah, I just…” He just what? “We… I wasn’t supposed to fall asleep.” He opened his eyes again tentatively, squinting them against the light.

Jack hugged him briefly before standing up. “It’s all good,” he said, offering his hand.

Angus took it and was pulled to his feet. They didn’t let go. “No,” still half asleep he spoke without thinking. “Not today. I didn’t want to waste any time.”

Jack pulled him into a hug again. His eyes were so warm and welcome, like a hug even just looking at him, but accompanied by a real hug they were almost overwhelming in their sincerity. “No time with you is wasted Angus,” he said, their noses brushing.

“What time is it anyway?” Angus asked, glancing up at the sky.

“By the sun, I’d guess around two maybe?” Jack ventured.

A sudden random thought raced through Angus’ mind and he felt the urge to act on it immediately. “Come on,” he said, before breaking free of Jack’s hold and running up toward the cabin.

The moment he was through the door he scanned the room. But what the hell had he even done with his cellphone? He couldn’t remember the last time he’d held it in his hand. Probably the day he’d left for the cabin. It was strange, because normally he wasn’t without the thing; always in his pocket, always buzzing or ringing or both at the same time. Or being used as a calculator for advanced calculations, or for notes when things popped into his head. But with Jack, he hadn’t even thought about the thing. What would he have done with it?

Angus bolted up the stairs to the loft just as Jack was coming in the door.

“What in the sam hill has gotten into you?” Jack asked, following him up the stairs more slowly.

“Get your cell phone!” Angus called out, as he found his phone in a pair of pants he’d stuffed back into his bag.

“What for?” Jack asked, leaning against the loft railing, and crossing his arms. “There’s no service out here anyway.”

Angus looked up at him. Jack was grinning, amused. And damn if he didn’t look like a perfect fantasy; leaned up against the railing, only wearing his underwear from swimming, backlit by the bright sunny day, crossed arms drawing attention to his muscled shoulders and chest.

Angus swallowed hard, but brought his brain back to what he’d been thinking about as he clicked the button to unlock his phone. “You don’t need service to add a new contact,” he said as he hopped onto the unmade bed and started searching for the Contacts app. “So get your phone already,” he demanded without looking at Jack.

Jack grumbled, but started digging through his bags. Unable to find what he was looking for he went back downstairs. Footsteps trudged back upstairs to the loft.

Jack’s phone made a smacking sound as it landed on Angus’ bare stomach.

“Dead as a doornail,” Jack announced as he flopped down onto the bed.

“Where’s your charger?” Angus asked eagerly, picking up Jack’s phone and trying the button. Nothing, black screen.

Jack held up the charging cord and plugged it into the wall, before stealing the phone from Angus’ grip, plugging it in and setting it aside on the nightstand. “Must’a forgot all about the damn thing.”

Angus pulled his phone back up. Jack’s contact was all set up, just needed a phone number. “Ok, what’s your number?” Angus asked.

Jack didn’t answer immediately, so Angus looked over. Those deep brown eyes were full of something, but he was having trouble deciding what: fear, uncertainty, nervousness?

“What’s the play here hoss?” Jack asked.

“So, there’s this really cool invention called a phone,” Angus said, trying to lighten the moment. “And when you get someone’s phone number, you can call them and even send them these neat little messages called texts.” He grinned.

Jack smiled right back and shoved at Angus. “Yeah, ok smartass,” he replied before reciting his number so Angus could type it into the phone.

Angus wanted to ask Jack what he’d meant. Was he nervous? Or worried? Did he not want to stay in touch? But Angus was equal parts afraid of the answer, and afraid of ruining their last day. And he’d gotten what he’d wanted: Jack’s number, a way to contact him once they… left. So he let it lie.

Jack rolled over to the nightstand, and clicked the button on his phone. He rolled back to Angus. “Still not enough juice,” he said, resting a hand on Angus’ stomach. “Needs to charge for a bit longer.”

“Whatever will we do to pass the time?” Angus asked with a grin.

Jack leaned down and breathed against Angus’ mouth before he kissed it softly, starting slow. Little pecks turned to open mouthed kisses that turned to tongues in mouths and hands in hair and rolling around in the large bed.

Somehow they were always on the same page. And though their kisses were intimate and about sharing the taste and feel of each other, it didn’t lead to sex. Instead it harkened back to the domesticity of their shared day in bed during the rain storm. The kisses petered out and Jack settled down in the bed until his face was resting on Angus’ stomach.

“Want me to read you some more of that awful book you brought?” Angus asked with a laugh as he ran his hands through Jack’s hair. He needed to memorize the velvet-soft prickle of it.

“Naw,” Jack replied, scruff and breath scratching and tickling at skin. “I’ve read it before.”

“How’s it end?” Angus asked.

“The super SEAL saves the day with the help of the mouthy detective,” Jack mumbled against skin.

“Saw that coming,” Angus laughed.

“You only read three pages!” Jack accused, sitting up and meeting Angus’ gaze with a grin.

“It doesn’t exactly take rocket science to figure out the good guy, with the book series named after him, is going to win,” Angus replied, hands still in Jack’s hair.

Jack dropped a few sloppy kisses in and around Angus’ bellybutton before laying his head back down and nuzzling into the skin there like he belonged. He did. And suddenly Angus ached.

“Tell me something instead,” Jack prompted.

“Like what?” Angus asked.

“I dunno genius,” Jack replied. “Somethin’ stupid you did as a kid. Or, what it was like to go to MIT…”

Angus thought for a minute before he launched into the story about him and Bozer burning down the school football stadium when they were kids. After that he switched to the night Frankie had talked him into turning the school fountain into one giant vinegar/dish soap volcano. His hair had been pink for three weeks.

Jack was in stitches by the time Angus was done, rolling around the bed and clutching his stomach.

“How’s your phone coming there?” Angus pointed to the nightstand.

Jack rolled over to check it. “All set and ready to roll.” He unplugged the phone and rolled back. “Whenever you’re ready trigger.” He pulled up his contacts and entered Angus’ number. Then he leaned over and kissed Angus’ temple. “About time for some dinner I think.”

Angus wrapped his arms around Jack as he tried to get up and pulled him back to the bed. “Just a few more minutes,” Angus begged.

“Alright man,” Jack fell back down. “No schedule when you’re on vacation. No rush.”

No rush. Angus put his face to Jack’s neck and drew in a deep breath. No rush to remember each and every move, and smell, and touch and taste.

 

 

Their last dinner was a mess of leftovers, and Jack cooked up everything with the intent that any extras could go with them in their cars as snacks the next day. Always prepared, more from Mama Dalton’s teachings than the boy scouts or the army.

Jack set the plates out, a mishmash of everything, and rounded the counter to sit down next to Angus and dig in.

Angus turned toward him, something mischievous in his eyes, and smiled wide.

“What are you waitin’ for hoss?” Jack asked, stepping closer. “Eat up.”

“Always wanted to find a guy that could cook,” Angus said, wrapping his ankles around Jack’s calves and pulling him in. Jack settled between Angus’ thighs for a full body hug, putting his muscled arms on Angus’ shoulders.

The look in Angus’ eyes was more than a little excited, his pupils already getting larger by the second despite the brightly lit room.

“Ain’t you hungry?” Jack whispered as Angus’ hands found their way under his shirt to touch his skin and make him shiver.

“Oh, I’m hungry alright,” Angus replied, pulling Jack even closer so he could feel just how excited Angus was.

“Food’s gonna get cold,” Jack said against jawline.

“You’re a good cook,” Angus said, “it’ll still taste good later.”

How could every time he touched Angus still feel like the first time? As though he’d been watching and waiting but never touched and just been imagining. The hot skin under his fingers, the golden hair in his hands, the taste of Angus’ eager mouth, the feel of his body against him.

Jack started kissing jaw and ear and neck. He spoke between kisses. “You think… compliments… will get you… everything.”

“Seems to be working,” Angus groaned out, his hips shifting forward, almost off the chair entirely, pushing against Jack with urgency.

Jack growled against Angus’ throat, and pulled at his hips to slide him off the chair.

“You best be naked in bed by the time I get up there,” Jack spoke against Angus’ ear before he shoved him toward the stairs.

“What about you?” Angus asked.

Jack motioned toward the stove that was still on to keep things warm. “Just want to make sure we don’t burn the place down,” he said. “I’ll be right there. Don’t you worry.” The last words shuddered with want, and Angus’ eyes widened at the sound, his mouth opening a little before he went up the stairs.

Jack shut the stove down and then went up the stairs slow. Trying to savour every single second. The day was getting dark, and it was making his skin itch; the way it did when an op was going bad and he could just feel it. His chest ached and his eyes were hot and wet like he wanted to cry but just didn’t know how. The next morning was going to hurt like nothing ever had before. He’d looked his whole life for someone to be his other half. Someone who fit so perfectly with him, physically and mentally. He’d thought Sarah had been that person, but if she’d really cared she wouldn’t have been able to turn away from him the way she had. Since Sarah, he’d been comparing everyone else to her, using her as a measuring stick. And no one had ever quite been tall enough for the ride. And then Angus had come along and shattered all of those expectations in the form of a person Jack would never have considered if not for fate. And he believed firmly that it was fate. And now they stood at the edge of letting it all go, and walking back into the world alone again. It was like watching a herd running straight at you, unable to move, just watching and waiting for the terrible inevitable to trample you.

At the top of the stairs he looked over at the bed, lit by the light from the room below sneaking up over the edge of the loft; heavy with shadows. But Angus almost glowed in the dark he was so pale and beautiful. His skin shone against the white sheets, and Jack’s heart almost stopped at the sight of Angus laying naked, stroking himself gently while he waited for Jack.

Jack could barely get out of his clothes fast enough. He needed to press every inch of his skin against every inch of Angus’. He needed to hold and feel and taste and kiss. He needed to remember. T-shirt, jeans, and boxers were left heaped on the floor as he crawled onto the bed. Jack’s whole body shook with anticipation.

He knelt down next to Angus and kissed him, trying to be soft, but unsuccessful as his tongue darted into Angus’ mouth and rampantly took what it wanted. Obscene noises travelled from Jack’s throat down into Angus’ as they shared breath. He felt Angus’ hand still moving in that slow, languid back and forth motion. Jack ran a quivering hand from Angus’ hair, down his throat, across his chest and stomach, and took up the place of Angus’ hand. Tight, slow strokes. Angus’ hips moved into Jack’s hand while he made needy noises across Jack’s tongue.

Angus started trying to talk while their lips were still locked together, and he almost bit Jack’s lip. Jack pulled back, panting and licked at whatever other skin he could find.

“Stop,” Angus demanded. “You need… stop… that’s not what I want…”

Jack stopped immediately, pulling his hand away as though he’d been burned. He’d done it. Gone too far somehow, done something wrong. He pulled his mouth back as well and looked at Angus.

“I didn’t mean…” Jack trailed off, moving to roll away.

Angus grabbed Jack’s shoulder and pulled him back, putting their foreheads together. “It’s too good Jack,” he said. He reached down in the mess of sheets and pillows and grabbed something that he pressed into Jack’s hand. A cool little bottle. “I didn’t want to finish until…”

Jack’s body twitched in response to the request. Why was he so ready to be rejected when they’d shared so much together? Because Angus was beautiful and wonderful and Jack didn’t feel deserving, he knew that. He was broken, and as much as he wanted Angus to be the one to fix him, it was too much to hope for. So he’d keep taking what he could get.

Jack crawled down between Angus’ legs. His craving to be inside and be surrounded by Angus was too strong and he wasted no time. Generous with the lube, he slipped one finger inside as slowly as his excitement would allow. He watched Angus’ face the whole time to make sure everything was ok.

“It’s so good Jack,” Angus groaned before Jack had even got that first finger halfway. “More.”

Jack stopped for a moment, mouthing at Angus’ hip and tasting the soft wonderful skin on his tongue.

Angus’s hips lifted at the contact, and he pushed back onto Jack’s hand, keening brokenly as he did so.

Jack sucked hard at the skin on Angus’ hip before he slid his finger back out.

Angus panted and sat up, pulling Jack into a hard kiss. “I need you Jack,” Angus panted, and then assaulted him with more kisses. “Hurry. I need you. Please.”

Jack opened the bottle and poured out more of the slick liquid. If Angus wanted to move fast, Jack was going to be sure it still felt good.

He set two fingers against Angus and waited. “You good?” Jack asked.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Angus panted out over and over again as he grabbed for Jack’s arm to pull him home.

“You are gonna kill me,” Jack gasped as he pushed forward. Once his fingers were halfway there, he curled them up a little. 

Angus groaned pleasantly and writhed in the sheets. “Yes, right there Jack,” he begged.

Jack released his fingers and curled them more, sliding in a little further.

Angus looked down at Jack, his eyebrows drawn up making him look almost sad. His lips were a hard line where he’d pinched them together.

Jack pushed all the way to his knuckles, and curled his fingers up one more time, sliding them back out that way, drawing a long shuddered exhale from Angus.

“I’m ready,” Angus panted. “I swear Jack. Please.”

Jack grinned, feeling suddenly obnoxious and like drawing things out a little. He leaned forward over Angus to the night stand, grabbed one of the condoms and got himself ready.

Angus pulled himself down toward Jack in the bed, needy and pleading.

Hands under Angus’ thighs, Jack pushed him back up toward the headboard and suddenly sank his mouth down over Angus. Possibly their last time in bed together, Jack wanted to taste him. It tasted so good he wanted to roll his tongue over that soft, sensitive skin over and over again until Angus couldn’t take it anymore. But sliding down and back up twice he pulled off.

Jack leaned down over Angus, who was an absolute mess; his hair was everywhere, his lips red from hard kisses and being bitten, he was writhing around and begging, but when Jack looked into Angus’ eyes he saw only clarity. Angus wasn’t lost, he was with Jack every step of the way, living in that moment that Jack hoped would never end.

Jack pushed his hips forward and sank into Angus. It was tight, but welcoming and perfect.

Jack drew his hips back and leaned forward again into the soft body underneath him. Jack’s arms shook and let go and he collapsed onto Angus, licking at collarbone and nosing at the skin under his ear. His hips started to move more and more quickly.

 

 

Angus’ passion was pure clarity; laser focused. Every sensation was magnified, like he could feel the impact of each touch of skin on every tiny cell in his body. Nothing was hazy or blurred, everything was crystal clear: the scar that rippled on Jack’s shoulder, the salt and pepper of his scruff, each hair distinct.

“Why weren’t we doing this all week?” Angus asked, his mind able to form thoughts and words like it hadn’t been during their other times together. Maybe it was the way he’d been trying to hold on to and remember everything all day. He’d carried that intent with him into their passion.

“All week?” Jack groaned in reply as he kissed and mouthed at Angus’ skin each time he rocked back into him. “Why haven’t we been doing this all my life?”

Angus wondered if Jack knew what he was saying, or maybe he was just wrapped up in his passion. But he wanted, more than anything, for it to be true; for Jack to feel it the way he did, down in his core that something about this, about them, was different from anyone who had come before or would come after.

In that moment Angus almost let the words slip out of his mouth: stay with me, Jack. But he choked them down before his brain could do something so stupid as ruin the absolutely perfect moment between them. The way Jack rolled his hips, pushing deep into Angus. The way their bodies fit so perfectly together that he was able to find friction there. Jack’s noises and hands and lips roaming everywhere and heightening everything.

Then Jack’s rhythm slowed, and he pressed his lips against Angus' ear, sending a shiver down his whole body. “I’m so close Angus,” Jack slurred out like he was drunk. “So close. But you… I want you to…”

Angus swallowed heavily and his eyes pricked with tears. He didn’t know how, in that moment, a moment of pure surrender when the body wanted nothing but to seek its own pleasure, that Jack could think straight enough to slow down and try to look after Angus first. It was overwhelming, and mixed with that wonderful pleasure that Jack was pressing against inside of him, forced a few tears from the corner of his eyes.

Jack sat up on his forearms immediately and looked down into Angus’ face.

“You ok?” Jack asked, his voice more clear as he stilled his movements, his hips flush with Angus’ body. With his face right down by Angus’ cheek, Jack must have felt those tears fall.

Angus wanted to say: of course. Instead his throat choked heavily with emotion and when he opened his mouth nothing came out.

Jack shifted his weight to one arm, and brought up his other hand to wipe away the tears so gently with his callused hands. “Angus, man, I asked you a question and I need you to answer me.” His voice was stern, but laced with worry.

Several more tears escaped the corner of Angus’ eyes and it made him so mad. Why couldn’t he control his emotions? Why now? He didn’t want Jack to think badly of this, or think less of him for being such a mess.

“I need to know if you’re ok,” Jack said softly, his thumb wiping away more tears.

Angus’ throat was still constricted, but he nodded his head several times.

“What do you want?” Jack asked. “Anything in the world you want Angus, and it’s yours.”

Angus’ throat cleared suddenly and the first thing that went through his brain came out of his mouth. “I want you, Jack Wyatt Dalton.”

“Oh, I absolutely regret tellin’ you that,” Jack said with a huff of laughter.

Overwhelmed by every emotion happening at once, Angus burst into laughter, and as his body tensed around Jack and he could feel him deep inside. Jack made an indecent noise and ducked his head.

He raised his head again and met Angus’ eye. “You good?” He asked.

Angus leaned up and kissed Jack, wrapping his legs around the man and putting heels lightly into thighs to spur him forward.

Jack started moving again, and since they’d stalled a little, it took a few minutes of building up that pressure again before they were both close to the edge. Jack didn’t ask again, instead put a hand between them and stroked Angus tight and fast.

“Come on Angus,” Jack groaned into his ear. “I’ve got you.”

They came together. In the same moment. Pulled over the edge by those words of Jack’s. Groaning and sliding against one another they ground to a halt tangled up in each other.

 

 

 

Jack thought the hardest part would be pulling out of that gangly, beautiful, passionate embrace for the last time. He was wrong.

The hardest part happened later, when he was least prepared for it.

Dinner was mostly finished, but they sat at the counter picking at mostly empty plates and talking. Still talking after almost a whole week with no internet and no one else around, there were still topics that were interesting, new things to explore about each other.

With the rambling conversation, Jack wasn’t sure exactly how it came up, but he got into one of his favourite stories.

“So everybody wants to know exactly what my history is with the new boss lady,” Jack said, waving his hands around appropriately. With their knees knocking together between them, he’d been occasionally putting a hand on Angus thigh or knee, whatever he could reach; it had become one of those little affectionate touches he’d started doing without even thinking about it. Angus didn’t seem to mind at all. Jack was sure he saw him smile a little wider every time.

“So what did you tell them?” Angus asked, genuine curiosity lighting up his features.

“So I sat them down to tell the story,” Jack said, “and I tell them: I was going through a really rough time. My marriage was on the rocks.”

Angus didn’t say anything, didn’t ask, but his face fell a little.

“Holly and I were separated. She was working in Los Angeles, and it was Christmas-time. You know, I wanted to go out there and see if I could patch things up. When I get there, terrorists seized the building where she worked-”

Angus’ smile grew tenfold and he interrupted with a wave of his hand, before he grabbed Jack’s forearm. “Man, that’s the plot of Die Hard!”

Jack’s smile grew to match. “You know that, and I know that,” he said, tapping Angus’ chest for emphasis. “But those damn recruits had never seen the damn movie! They thought I was serious!”

Angus started laughing, his body shaking.

“The best part is, I went through and told them the whole plot of that damn movie from beginning to end and they believed every single word!” Jack started laughing in earnest.

Angus’ eyes grew wide. “No?!”

Jack just nodded, tears streaming from his eyes he was laughing so hard, unable to talk.

Angus devolved into laughter with him and they fell against each other, propping themselves up on each other, and holding on at wrists and shoulders and waists. Jack’s palm against Angus’ stomach let him feel the rumbling laughter deep down.

That was the hardest part. Thinking about never sharing that laughter again. It wasn’t about the casual touches, and physical contact, but the understanding and easiness between them. They just fit. And it tainted that laughter a little for Jack, but he refused to let it go, holding on to that moment for as long as he could.

 

 

It had been a perfect day, and it should have wiped Angus out. Should have sent him into a deep sleep that was restful and peaceful in Jack’s arms. 

Instead, he lay with his chest against Jack’s back, an arm slung around the hot, perfect body in front of him and he was restless. His brain just wouldn’t stop, couldn’t stop. Focused on one awful thing that he had no solution or invention for: the inevitable march of time. The next day would arrive too soon and he was dreading it in the pit of his stomach. 

Why? Why did they have to walk away? Why did they have to leave? 

Because an escape can’t be forever, and when it came down to it they barely knew each other.

Except that when Angus strayed from the logical, he knew that was a lie. From almost the moment he’d met Jack, he’d known there was something between them more than just attraction or camaraderie. Something down deep that made no sense when normal rules were applied. And he was afraid to go on without that, now that he’d known it.

Angus lay there, an ache forming where his head touched the pillow that felt hard as a stone, and tried not to cry over losing something that was laying right in front of him.

Surprising Angus, Jack spoke suddenly. His voice was clear, not foggy with sleep. “You too huh?” He asked, the sound echoing through Jack’s rib cage and vibrating into Angus’ arm.

“What do you mean?” Angus asked, trying to swallow the grief that had been tickling his throat.

“Can’t sleep?” Jack asked.

Angus didn’t answer, just left the silence heavy and full of unsaid things.

Jack turned over in Angus’ grip until they were face to face.

“There’s a solution to that,” Jack said.

“Oh yeah?” Angus asked. “What’s that?”

“We could… tire each other out,” Jack suggested, running his fingers lightly across Angus’ skin, from chest to stomach and lower.

Or we could talk, Angus thought. But no, that wasn’t what he wanted. If they talked about it, it meant that it was really happening. They were going to leave. If they didn’t talk, maybe it would never happen, or he could pretend that it never would.

With no preamble or other words, Jack took Angus in hand, grip tight and perfect. Angus sighed out the beginnings of his pleasure, and slid his hand down to return the favour. 

It was long and slow and sweet and hot. Pace increasing and then faltering, bringing them to the edge so many times that Angus wasn’t sure if he’d come already or not, he couldn’t remember.

And buried deep in that pleasure was that feeling Angus loved so much. The feeling that he was connected to Jack, that they fit perfectly together, and belonged. It was in the way that Jack knew, exactly the moment to slow again and keep Angus from climaxing without a word said between them. The way Angus seemed to know just what Jack wanted by the groans he made and the movements of his body. The way they came together, in the same moment, stuttering and falling apart in each other’s arms. The way they held each other afterward.

But it was also in the things that came after. Jack’s hands in his hair, a thumb rubbing softly at his lower lip in a movement that he found so comforting he wanted to know nothing but that touch forever. It was in the words they didn’t say. The warm wet towel Jack got to wipe them down with so much care. The way they both still couldn’t fall asleep despite their exhaustion. The way Jack’s velvet-soft hair felt under his fingertips.

Another hour went by; laying in each other’s arms, and changing positions, and staring at each other, and then the ceiling while the night continued without their permission. 

And then Jack rolled on top and buried his face in Angus’ hair. He made a noise that Angus didn’t understand: a whine of wanting? A sob? Angus couldn’t be sure. Jack pressed up onto his hands and looked down, his big dark eyes were full of emotion.

“I need you Angus,” Jack said, and Angus wanted so desperately for that need to be not only sexual, but more, so much more. The way Angus needed Jack. But he was afraid, so afraid to say it. “I’ve never needed anything so bad,” Jack said. “Can I…” He swallowed hard.

Angus sat up and grabbed Jack’s face pulling him into a hard kiss and wrapping his legs around Jack’s hips.

 

 

Jack fumbled the condom on in the dark, and opened the bottle, spilling some lube as his fingers shook with want and need and excitement. Angus was kissing him hard and fast; little attacks whenever he could get close enough to Jack’s mouth, and it was very distracting.

Jack slipped a wet hand down between them, but Angus grabbed his wrist hard and held it back.

“Jack,” Angus gasped against Jack’s cheek. “I don’t need it, it’s fine. Just…” He didn’t finish the sentence, just kissed Jack hard, tongue in Jack’s mouth.

Jack shuddered all over, and made indecent noises into Angus’ mouth. He tried to pull back so he could get settled in place, but Angus wouldn’t let go of his cheeks, his neck, his hair. Did the guy have more than two hands? Cause they seemed to be everywhere at once. Instead Angus wrapped his legs around Jack again and wouldn’t stop kissing him.

By touch, Jack lined up, their mouths still locked together. Before he could move his hips forward, Angus pulled himself back and Jack slipped inside. Jack wanted to cry it felt so good, and his hips ran with that excitement and drove forward. Angus almost bit Jack’s lip. And he wondered suddenly if he’d hurt Angus by not giving him some attention before hand. He started to pull back. Their kiss fell apart, and Angus dug his heels into the back of Jack’s thighs.

“Jack, don’t stop,” Angus gasped and grunted, “it feels so good, please don’t stop.”

“I don’t ever want to,” Jack whispered into Angus’ skin, hoping he hadn’t actually heard how desperate it sounded.

When they climaxed again they lay rolled together in a heap. Jack reached for the wet towel he’d left nearby and got a yelp out of Angus when he wiped them up with the cold wet thing. He left it close by again, just in case, but was sure they were both spent. He’d been wondering if the passion would ever slow down between them. It seemed like they both wanted each other all the time. Jack had never experienced that. Then again he’d never started a relationship with someone stuck in a remote cabin for a week. And then Jack realized that he was thinking of this as the start of a relationship, and chastised himself.

Jack lay wrapped up in Angus’ arms, and finally began to drift to sleep. He heard Angus’ breathing deepen and head toward sleep too. Just as he was being tugged down into dreams he thought he heard Angus say something in that slurred half-asleep way he did sometimes right before bed, or right after waking. “Hey Jack, what if we…” but he missed the rest of the sentence.

 

 

They packed in silence, Angus glancing over his shoulder to see if Jack was actually putting his things away. He was. It was happening. Normally so strict about folding his clothes and optimizing space, he shoved shirts, pants and underwear in haphazardly. Maybe if everything didn’t fit in his bag he wouldn’t have to leave.

Was he imagining it, or was Jack’s head hanging heavy, his shoulders bowed? Did he look sad? More than sad? Devastated, the way Angus was? Why couldn’t he just talk about it? If they left anyway and never said a thing, would it matter if Jack had turned him away?

Once Angus’ bag was a ridiculous bulging monstrosity, he let it sit on the bed and turned. Jack had just finished as well, his bag a neat piece of evidence of military training. Their eyes met. Were Jack’s eyes glassy? Or was Angus seeing all of the things he wanted to see?

Jack walked over and rested his hands lightly on Angus’ hips. “One more for luck?” Jack asked, before he leaned in to kiss Angus, but he paused right before their lips touched. Angus opened his eyes and saw that Jack’s were closed, his eyebrows drawn up. And then he closed that last inch of distance. It was a chaste kiss. It was perfect.

“Alright,” Jack said, stepping back almost formally, and grabbing his bag. “Guess it’s time to blow this popsicle stand.” He heaved his bag over his shoulder and headed down the stairs.

Angus watched him go, and looked back at the bed they’d made together. Shared together. The big soft duvet and the perfect fluffy pillows that would still smell like Jack. He looked away, grabbed his bag, and followed Jack down the stairs.

Everything else had already been done: fridge cleaned out, garbage left in the bin outside, telescope packed up. The last thing to do was the hardest: leave.

“Alright then,” Jack said, holding open the door. “Guests first.”

Angus smiled at that. “Guest? This is my cabin remember?”

“Not until 1 PM today when my rental agreement runs out dude,” Jack scoffed.

There it was, that banter they’d built throughout the week, that familiarity that had washed over them like warm rain that soaked into their bones.

Angus didn’t continue to argue, but walked through the doorway. It was like being hit by a bus. It was really happening. They were leaving. The door shut behind him with a click, and it made him jump.

“You alright man?” Jack asked, as he locked the door and put the key in the lockbox.

Angus smiled, and man was it the most fake smile he’d ever put on. “Yeah, a little jumpy, just tired I guess.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jack replied. “Gonna be a long drive.”

They walked down the front porch steps together, feet crunching on the gravel of the driveway.

“Well maybe if someone hadn’t kept me up all night,” Angus said. What a thing to say. Was that really something they needed to be reminded of in that moment? No, it definitely wasn’t.

“Me?” Jack asked. “Who was the one tossin’ and turnin’ like there was a pea under his mattress?”

Angus’ smile became real, and then he felt it falter when his mind returned to the situation at hand. “Well I guess, we should… go.”

Jack’s face sobered too. “Yeah, I do have a long drive ahead’a me,” he said, pointing toward his SUV like Angus hadn’t noticed it. “I really should get on the road.”

Angus nodded, but his feet were stuck, he couldn’t move.

All he could think was that if he could just hold Jack one more time, just keep them there for any longer, it would somehow be enough.

His eyes watched Jack’s lips, and then he knew he would ask to kiss Jack, as though they were still in a place where they needed permission. “Jack, I-”

In that space of seconds it took Angus to start his sentence, Jack dropped his bag, took two steps, and they collided. Lips against lips, messy and open immediately, bodies against bodies, arms around each other gripping so hard. Angus heard his bag hit the ground, but he didn’t remember letting it go. Didn’t remember anything but the taste, feel, smell of Jack Dalton.

Jack kissed him harder, and the phrase “like he was going off to war” sprinted through Angus’ head. Maybe not war, but bad places full of worse decisions and just as much death, if Jack’s stories were to be believed.

In that moment it felt like Jack wanted the same things, like Jack was grasping at Angus as though they never had to leave.

But then he was gone, out of Angus’ arms, his heat backed off. Boots scratching gravel as Jack took a few steps back toward his bag and picked it up again.

Angus thought his chest was collapsing. Maybe he was having a heart attack. But then his body restarted, and he breathed again, and though he felt like he was going to die, he didn’t.

Jack cleared his throat. “Well, that’s all she wrote.” He paused, and Angus watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. “Be sure and holler if you need me, and don’t get into too much trouble.”

“Yeah, sure, course,” Angus spit out the words, unable to think of anything else, or form any more words.

Jack looked hurt, like he didn’t believe that Angus would call him. “You know, San Jose ain't so far from LA,” he said, before turning toward his SUV.

Angus turned around, his feet dragging through the gravel as he walked toward his Jeep.

“Oh hey!” Jack called.

Angus lit up, wondering if this was it. Were they going to say something about this? Do something about it? He turned around, and saw Jack tossing his bag into the back of the SUV.

“If I don’t answer right away,” Jack said, “just remember that I go out of town a lot, and it might take me a few days.” He put a finger to the side of his nose and grinned.

Their little secret. _Secrets_ , plural; Angus had shared his too.

Angus smiled and nodded his head, unable to actually say anything else. He opened the back of the Jeep, tossed his bag inside angrily, and slammed the hatch.

Angus got into the truck, sat heavily in the driver’s seat and slammed the door behind him. He gripped the steering wheel hard, and put a hand to the key; he didn’t turn it. Something at his core resisted. He felt like, if they left, even if they met up in the outside world afterward, somehow the spell would be broken and nothing would be the same. Tears gathered at the corners of his eyes but he clenched his jaw and refused to let them fall. He wasn’t just sad, he was frustrated and angry. His fingers loosened on the steering wheel as he sat back, feeling helpless.

The passenger door open suddenly, startling him. Jack crawled in and sat down, closing the door gently behind him. “See I got in my truck and I-”

Jack hadn’t looked over immediately. Angus was glad, he could feel his face contorting with emotion. He hated when it showed through, but he’d opened the floodgate and didn’t seem to be able to close it again. So he looked back toward the cabin out the driver’s side window, away from Jack and tried to casually cover his mouth with a hand.

But Jack’s words had stopped, and Angus could feel those warm brown eyes on him.

“Come here,” Jack said, his voice clouded with something, but Angus couldn’t read it. Sadness? Fear? Passion? Angus knew he’d be able to see the answer in Jack’s eyes, but he was afraid to look.

Feeling conspicuous completely turned away, Angus turned back to the windshield, still refusing to look Jack in the face, keeping his quivering mouth covered with a hand.

“I said come ‘ere,” Jack said, sounding hurt somehow despite the hard command in his tone. He reached out and pulled Angus’ hand away from his face.

Angus finally met those eyes, and Jack’s face was a mess: eyes red, cheeks wet. Angus leaned toward him, obeying the command. Jack put his hands to Angus’ face and traced the lines of his jaw, a gentle reminder to stop clenching his teeth.

Angus reached up and brushed the tears from Jack’s cheeks. There was something so endearing about the big, strong, secret ops agent crying at the drop of a hat. Crying over nothing. Crying over Angus.

They sat in the Jeep like that, hands on each other.

“We could probably just sit here forever,” Jack smiled, his voice gravelly.

Angus smiled in return, and leaned in close. Jack kissed him desperately, his hands gripping Angus frantically like he could hold them there forever. Angus wanted to let him try.

They pulled apart and sat there, close, but not saying anything, until Jack continued the sentence he’d started when he’d first opened the passenger door.

“I was sittin’ over there, trying not to get upset, thinking: you gotta be tough Jacky boy. Can’t let this rattle you.” Jack paused, hand still against Angus’ cheek. “And then I thought: why the hell shouldn’t it rattle me? And damned if I could come up with any reason at all why I shouldn’t be upset.” The words just kept coming out of Jack’s mouth and Angus was grateful because, first, he loved to hear Jack talk, and second, his throat was closed right up and he knew he couldn’t say a thing if he wanted to. “I spend the best week of my whole life, maybe tied with that week I spent in Tijuana just before I shipped out,” Jack snuck in a wink that lightened the mood significantly, “but the best week of my whole life out here with you, and then I’m just expected to walk away? I’m sorry man, but I can’t do that. Damned if I know what to do about it, but it ain’t gonna happen.” 

And then something happened that did something to Mac’s core. It felt like someone had reached through his gut, grabbed his organs and started rearranging them. Jack looked afraid, and cast his eyes down before he continued.

“That is,” Jack said softly, his hand starting to pull away, “unless you want me to walk away, and then-”

“No,” Angus croaked out. “Please don’t.” He grabbed Jack’s retreating hand and pulled it in tightly to his chest, holding it there against his breastbone.

Jack looked up and smiled, and Angus knew everything would be ok somehow.

“You know, San Jose isn’t so far from LA,” Angus ventured. “Just a couple hours drive.” It sounded hollow. It wasn’t enough. He knew it wasn’t. Four hours drive might as well be the moon. How many things would prevent either of them making that drive? Weather? Commitments? Just the drive. After a long day, or a long week, a four hour drive was like torture.

“I got a crazy thought,” Jack said. “And if it’s too crazy… I mean… we’ve only known each other but a week and I think that… it seems crazy… but-”

Angus laughed and it echoed warmly around them. “Out with it Jack.”

“I mean…” Jack had that frightened look in his eye again. After hearing everything that Jack had done and seen, Angus hadn’t thought anything could scare the man. “I don’t think it’s so hard to find a place in San Jose, is it?” He asked warily. “I’m just spitballin’, but I don’t need to live in LA for what I do.”

“Jack…” Angus trailed off. “That’s a lot.” And as soon as the words came out he regretting them, because he didn’t mean it was too much for him, or too fast, or any of that stuff. What he meant was: he could never ask someone to up and leave for him.

Jack’s face immediately clouded over and he looked away out the windshield, obviously fighting tears as he frowned and swallowed hard. “You’re right, a’course. That’s crazy, right?” He started babbling the way he did when he was happy or nervous or just… all the time. “Only known each other a week. It’s not… You’re right, that’s a heck of a lot. I just thought…. Maybe in the same city we’d be able to do things regular like… like dinner and movies and all that stuff people do when they’re dating. I mean… if you wanted to date. I just thought. I wasn’t thinking of anything totally nutso like moving in together. Don’t get me wrong, I like you a lot, but that’s too fast for anybody… I just… long distance isn’t always feasible and I thought that… But yeah, you’re right. Too much. I get you man-”

Angus had to interrupt him again. “Jack, I didn’t mean, it’s too fast or any of that stuff,” he clarified. “But LA’s your home. I can’t ask you to just pick up stakes for me. That’s not fair.”

Jack smiled and fell back against the passenger seat with relief. “I never really put down stakes,” he said. “Always been movin’ from place to place since I left the ranch. Never really had a home if I’m honest. Wouldn’t mind tryin’ one out though.”

“Your job-”

Jack shook his head. “Naw, I don’t need to live any particular place to do what I do,” he said. “They’ll call me in from wherever. Even called me out for a mission when I was visiting the family once.”

“On the ranch?” Angus asked.

“Mmmhmmm,” Jack confirmed. “Had to call the landline, they didn’t have any cell towers out there at the time. Mama just about flipped her lid when I told her I had to go.”

Angus smiled.

Jack smiled back, and then frowned. “Speakin’ of my job though. You know what I do,” he sighed. “It’s ok if that’s… not ok… for you. But I can’t quit. I just can’t. I’m helping people and… well, they need me.”

“I get that Jack,” Angus replied. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t keep helping people.”

Jack’s face broke again, and it continued to surprise Angus that this man who was so strong and had seen so much was so emotional. Maybe it was because of all that. There was nowhere inside him to put anything else, it had to spill over. That thought made Angus reach out and pull Jack to his chest, and let the big tough CIA agent cry and wrap his big strong arms tightly around, fingers gripping fabric tight. Angus put a hand to Jack’s back and one up to his hair.

Jack’s emotions subsided and he sat back into his own seat, wiping the tears from his face. “It’s just… not the easiest job to live with.”

“Well,” Angus sighed, “crazy science geek isn’t really the easiest either. I’m always running experiments in my apartment, and I’m constantly ruining my clothes with chemical spills and fire… definitely fire… I kinda have a thing for explosives.”

“What the hell do you need explosives for?” Jack asked, shocked.

“Well, without the explosives we wouldn’t be able to get the rockets off the ground, which would really inhibit a lot of the stuff I work on,” Angus said, and he knew he was getting started on one of his rants about his work and the science behind it, but he watched as Jack settled him in against the passenger seat ready to listen all day, and Angus decided to keep going and never stop until Jack asked him. He doubted Jack ever would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is... entirely possible... that I may already have plans for a sequel... so... we'll see which direction my brain takes me in... but there are plans... ;)


End file.
